Hi @tarazkp. Beautiful, and sad, post. It saddens me to read that you were bullied. But it lightens my frown to read that it doen't affect you anymore, that you have to understand the mechanisms behind bullying, the psychology behind (most of the) bullies.
Most of the things you write, I agree with, as I have experienced it and analysed it myself. However, there was one thing that I found a bit difficult to agree with.
While some have the sense that bullies will finally get what is coming to them, because of the ability to always find a new corner of support, but I don't think that is the case, especially online.
You mentioned in your post, that the reasons behind bullying are many - the bully's own insecurites, maybe they grew up being bullied themselves and instead of turning it into a positive thing, they repeated the vicious cycle. The reasons are many.
But that is where we disagree. In my opinion, being a bully means that there are some aspects of your life that are not the ways you want them to be, i.e. insecurities. You know the saying of why some men drive huge cars? I've come to the understanding that some people, maybe most, try to make up for some lacks by turning to other aspects. (I apologise for my English). Do you know what I mean? They try to make up for it in other areas of their life. Maybe by hurting others as this may give them some feeling of (as you mentioned) empowerment, so that the area in which they feel they have 'lacks' doesn't feel so big anymore.
And so the karmic cycle finishes. And keeps on going for some.
Because even though internet bullies may experience the increase of one's own balls, as they saying goes, their own insecurities and lacks are still present when the screen is turned off. They may not be visible at the time. They may be repressed for some time, but everything repressed comes back tenfold. That's why we should pray for the bullies (if you're religious). We should forgive them. And we shouldn't give in to the unhealthy attention that they're seeking. All PR is not good PR.
That was nearly an essay. I apologise for that. But I really wanted to comment haha. I hope your post opens some eyes out there - both for bullies and for those who have been bullied.
Have an awesome day :)
I agree. What we repress, we empower. The energy we use to hold something back is an opportunity cost.
What I meant in the "they don't get what is coming to them" necessarily is, the social cost of their behavior. They will always know that they are broken themselves, unless pathological.
I am the last one to complain about long form writing :D
I totally agree.
I've experienced it myself, I've seen it in others. It should stop. And also, going to a psychologist once a month should be obligatory from the end of primary school. But that's another story.
Maybe they do get the social cost of their behaviour. We may never know. Maybe the ones around them see this, and hence act accordring towards them. Maybe now, maybe later in life.
Haha :) Actually we shouldn't apologise for that. When we have something on our mind, we should express it. And not be afraid of boring others, etc. There are times where we should stfu, and some should be locked up for their words and thoughts, but I think you know what I mean.