My wife's niece moved apartments today and while my wife helped them unpack, I took my daughter into the city to a park and then out for daddy-daughter coffee, as is our normal go-to even when we are together. I really enjoy spending the time with her as when it is just the two of us, we chat away for hours about a million things and there is never a moment of silence, except when thinking about or waiting for the next question.
I am not good at many things, but being a father suits me. But I am lucky, because I have the daughter I have and with so much complexity in the genetic process, as well as so many influencing factors outside of anyone's control, things could have been very different. For example, she could be mentally or emotionally imbalanced in some way, unable to communicate well or have various physical impediments that would completely change the way in which we interact. It is not that these things necessarily change our relationship, but considering them compared to what we have now make it clear that many things would change.
We all want what is best for our children I think, even the children of others, but it is hard to know precisely what that is when entering into an uncertain world. Yes, the technologies of the future are going to be largely blackboxes to me, but the conditions of life itself are likely to change heavily also, which is going to affect society and all things that are important to us. This means that the childhood I knew, is different to hers and at the speed of progress and degradation combined, adulthood will be even more different again.
As I see it, the preparation for this isn't to introduce technology as early as possible into the lives of our children, it is to develop the skills necessary to cope under change. A lot of people think that in order for a child to survive the future, they need to be able to use the gadgets now, but what I believe is more necessary is to develop the skills required in order to not only learn how to use them, but be able to create them too.
As I see it, the future is going to be owned by the creators of the world, and those who are able to invest into the creators if they themselves aren't able to create for themselves. However, in order to be able to invest, a person has to be creative too, just in a different way. But, the road that many parents seem to take with their kids is one where their child is a consumer, requiring tools in order not to be bored. Tools they can't create themselves.
It is very difficult to build problem solving skills as a passive consumer or someone who takes a narrow approach to information. Because we tend to surround ourselves with a narrow set of content that we enjoy and feed off, we tend to replicate what we consume - *we are what we eat.
It is because of this that many people these days quickly polarize into quite extreme views of the world, because one piece of content leads to a slightly more extreme one and soon, all that they are eating is the shit diet pushed to them by the mass media. It doesn't matter if they are on the left or the right, technological or luddites, they reflect what they are consuming, controlled by the narrative they have been fed.
We see it often on social platforms where people "pool" into interest areas and then continually ramp themselves up within their silos, believing they are the chosen ones of truth, beauty and the holy path. And because everything else points in another direction, everyone is a fool who just can't see the light.
It is incredible to read content from some of the "truthtellers" who believe that they know the way, that they are different, that they are going against the grain, when the examples they use, the memes they share, the terminology they spit, is identical to everyone else in the same group as them and, no one knows who started the trend, which is because very few of them did, because they are not creators, they are amplifiers of the message passed to them.
It is funny that those who believe they are "free thinkers" are actually distributing a centralized narrative being pushed out to do precisely what it does, get repeated by the target audience for clicks and shares. They are no better than Instagram influencers and Twitter bots, while in their delusion they are world changers making a difference by spreading the truth. They are populist replicators, just repeating what they have been primed to believe.
The interesting thing is though, it isn't even their truth, it is the truth handed to them. It is essentially repeating corporate slogans like "Just Do It" as if they created some kind of profound insight into the world. But, they can't see this because they are products of their environment, so they have been led down a path to a "logical" conclusion, making what they think feel like their own. It is stereotypical sales process - keep them saying yes, get them to imagine that they are making the decision themselves, to buy exactly what the sales person is selling to them.
My daughter is only five, yet because she is not yet indoctrinated into any group, she is free to think, free to create, free to question her world without thinking about what side she is on. Perhaps one day she will surround herself with narrow information and subscribe to some view of the world, but I am hoping that we will be able to keep her open enough and curious enough to recognize that no group or side is correct when it comes to the complexity of behavior in a dynamic and highly integrated environment of changing conditions, that are influenced by a great deal of unseen forces.
I am hopefully not raising a victim of the world, I am raising someone who will have the mental and emotional ability to always find away through the worst, by being her best.
Taraz
[ Gen1: Hive ]
Agree with you, we repeat for good/bad our mistakes normally influenced somewhere in our lives, we did not grow up with electronic gadgets, many a time we had to 'manufacture' what we had seen or heard about. Thinking back to how we built go-carts, no help from parents, children finding what was required, then working together to complete.
At five children should be free of electronic devices, learning skills which I have seen happens up in Finland, children go out an adult with them, to climb trees, learn about nature, adventure into forests picking mushrooms and plants, all these little things are stored up in memory, who knows one day they may lead to discoveries we cannot anticipate.
Have a wonderful day!
!BEER
Ha - those were the days. The games we had as kids were valuable learning lessons, as was the opportunity to fix bikes and use hammers.
Finns (in general) have been pretty good with their kids in the past, but there is a clear polarization forming too. Part of the reason is that parents are as addicted to their phones as the children they raise.
We did have good times inventing our our own, either worked or broke, always a good learning curve.
Too many young lives are being wasted in front of electronic screens, a set time should be allowed daily of maybe an hour.
I hear you on the kids and their need to stay creative and enjoy things they learn on their own without the need of a screen and games. We have taken away the television earlier this year and it took a day or two for him to get used to it but his imagination has thankfully always been awesome. He wasn’t one to watch all kinds of shit but would watch good educational shows about outdoors and fishing and stuff. It has led him to have one hell of an imagination around the house, setting up traps and all that stuff. I don’t try to tell other parents how to raise their kids since it’s none of my business but I do point out when possible that the execs of the tech companies don’t let their kids touch the devices or websites for specific reasons. Why do you think? It’s horrible for kids that’s why! Lol.
I think the stuff also fosters just more sheep and people who are supposed to follow a specific path instead of creating their own way in the world. Not easy but lots of things in life are challenging!
The best games.
Me either directly. But no one is forced to read my blog, yet it is often that people do and feel attacked. Why would they care about a stranger writing on the internet randomly, unless they recognized some truth in it?
Many IT execs I know keep their kids away from tech in the formative years.
Yep. They are creating the relay nodes to leverage when they need.
Bloody good idea.
I am pretty sure that you will do an awesome job at parenting. 😊💙
I'm only half awesome :)
Lol, it's funny.
One of my friend got into an mlm company recently. And he has been pushing me and some other friends to join it.
Basically, we can't see light and truth of how to make money.
Similarly, a famous twitter personality from India who is known for his courses on building discipline etc, blocked me right after I bought his book. I read first few chapters, told him, I don't agree with some of his views, and he blocked me.
All these groups, cult like followings, who believe that they have figured out everything about life, and believe that "everyone is a fool who just can't see the light."
I think they have a very narrow view of life. And they can't look beyond their limited perspective.
It's good that I have made a habit of reading different authors. Every few months, I discover a new way to look at things, or learn to view things from a different angle.(one of the recent ones was Think Again by Adam Grant.)
Lol, being a non native english speaker, I haven't written anything in the last two weeks, and it's so difficult to write one comment. Got out of practice.
You fool! All you need to do is buy their products and then convince 10 other friends to do the same and help them convince ten of their friends...
Don't let it fade, as a non-native, it happens fast! But luckily, muscle memory kicks in fast too :)
I would also love to raise my kids this way when they grow up.
Recently I saw a kid I knew who was very outspoken but the day I met her she was so timid, apparently, her mother constantly shushed her and now she hardly speaks, I found it so sad.
Some parents raise their kids to be very outspoken, and repeat exactly what they have been told to say.
I am sure you are an excellent father. and that you will do everything possible to raise your daughter, we parents always look for the best for our children. I have a princess who will be 3 years old this month and a baby girl who is about to be born. And I will certainly do my best to raise them well and make them very happy.
Spend time, be analogue, pay attention - it is pretty much all that we have done. Having said that, it leads to a lot of other activities and work too :)
Congrats and good luck with the birth!
It's too bad that this generation of parents don't work with this approach, they don't let kids be kids anymore, trying to push a streamlined agenda on them, and forgetting that childhood is the only time one can be open minded and not be judged for it. That's the essence of childhood.
Some parents try to raise the kids in a way they think they will be successful at school, some raise them to replicate the parent. Few actually care about who that child is.
Speaking of narratives and Just Do It in particular, are you familiar with the background story of where that slogan came from? A murderer's last words before they shot him dead.
paywall on that article for me :)
I didn't know that, but it doesn't really surprise me :)
Yeah. Some dude named Gary killed a couple people and when they asked him if he had any last words he just said "Let's do it".
Maybe wikipedia's article will work for ya :)
Cheers! :)
Our chilhood was totally different than today's. Comparatively, our chilhood was pure and simple and we were brought up only with TV and atari as well as custom toys. Now, they are brought up with smartphones, tablets and social media accounts.
I think today's children are more clever, more self-confident. However, some of that self-confident has no basic. I think it is spoilism.
I didn't have computer until I was 16 - Still made it into IT :)
Confidence, no matter how unskilled they are in evaluating their abilities.
Every daughter is a princes to her father. I think daughter is direct blessing from almighty Allah. There can't be no gift on this world from Allah as good as a daughter. You are lucky that you have so cute daughter.
True or not, it is interesting how in some cultures women are treated so poorly.
I also hope that she can continue to think for herself. Between the mainstream media and the social media crowds, finding the truth which is usually somewhere in the middle can be very hard!
!PIZZA
This is the goal. This is one thing I feel parents should instill in their wards.
The survival and self motivated spirit.
For the amplification of information, I think we are most times a product of our environment and if people can't they might just amplify it.
Self-motivated is a difficult thing to accomplish as a parent, as it often means leaving your child alone to sink or swim.
You can inspire others ,how to be a good parent who not only engage with physical activities but boost the mental support as well. She is only five but one day she will proud having such parents.
I am also a father of my son (4 yrs) ,Always try my best to provide valuable times with him from my busy job life.😊
It can be hard to find the time, but looking long, it is very valuable for all involved :)
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Ugh, bubbles. Constantly questioning my own truths and confounded by those who are absolutely hooked on their own, without recognising how this 'truth' is built, supported and upheld.
Your daughter is gorgeous. I miss my boy at 5 - at 24, and newly engaged, he is his fiances now and not mine, and I miss him babbling incessantly to me and those lovely cuddles. At 5, she's still indoctrinated you know - but by you, and hopefully what you bubble her with is the ability to question, and be kind above all.
Well i would say there are engineers, and the rest of the world... So there are the creators and the users. It's not a real expectation from the next generation, at least not from the whole. A part of them will be creator, just like it was in the past and is in the present.
Although a basic level of repair skills would be more expected even from the users.
Oh my God how funny and sweet she is
Your daughter is very happy to have a father like you
In my opinion, despite all the technologies, good life skills are more important for children, because when they are mentally healthy, they will be successful in work and education.
And I also think kids should be free to choose anything
Sorry for the parents who order the child to make a choice that they think is right
Be happy, healthy and rich