I was listening to an interview that Ralph Barbosa, a Mexico-American comic, had with the BigBoyTv and one of the things that came up in the discussion is fatherhood. For the record, Ralph is one of those comedians who has a laid-back style of comedy and he's killing it.
He has a 5-year-old son and he will be 28 by October. He stated that having a kid is one of the things that gave him the push to work towards improving his life because he didn't want his child to deal with any consequence that could come from having a Dad who isn't responsible. Before having a kid, he was living with his Grandma. However, his life has changed massively ever since he became a Dad.
You can check out the Dude's work. He's a phenomenal comedian. However, the reason I shared some snippets about his journey into fatherhood is that one of the prompts in this post is about Children and how we wish to approach having kids.
What Ralph did is dicey. He wasn't prepared to have kids and I wouldn't advise anyone to go around having the sort of sex that could lead to childbirth if you don't plan to have kids at the moment. That particular action has led to a lot of issues for both the Dad, the Mum, and the kid. In most cases, some Dads fail to step up to take responsibility. And that's exactly where I have to commend Ralph. He stepped up and took responsibility.
I plan and hope to do mine differently. I've already seen what happens when a guy starts running a home when he isn't financially ready to do so. A lot of time, it becomes hard to be the man you imagined you would be, especially when you make the mistake of getting married and having kids without being capable of running your home. It gets even worse when you end up choosing the wrong partner or being a disgrace of a "husband/Dad".
If wishes were horses, I would already have a kid in this my 20s. But reality has its way of opening your eyes to what's happening in the real world. As I got through life experiences, I decided that I wouldn't want to start a family in a rented apartment. Unfortunately, the world economy is getting rocked by inflation and my finances are melting down. I still hope I get to achieve that before getting married.
The ideal number of kids to have?
I'm not putting any number up here for people to use as a yardstick to decide what's right or wrong when it comes to the number of kids they can have. If you are not yet married, I suggest you have the "number of kids" discussion with your partner and try to be logical when having that discussion. You can't be earning peanuts and be trying to have 5 kids. Not in this present generation.
Even when you have enough money to raise 12 kids, you have to remember that finance isn't the only thing it takes to raise kids. Do you and your partner have the mindset, resilience, and discipline it takes to raise that number of kids in this day and time? Ask yourself that question.
In my case, I'm consistently learning to be a respectable Husband and a lovely Dad. I know that the real learning starts when I finally become one. However, I'm getting myself ready for that future and I'm trying to get my finances right too. Regardless of how rich I end up becoming, I'm sure I would only have the number of kids I would give my best as a Dad.
All I can say is that I genuinely look forward to working out with my family. Haha.
Thanks For Not Missing Any Full-stop or Comma.
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Your reasons are very valid but one thing is, people who go ahead to have children as some sort of motivation and push, already have their life planned out in several aspects. The child is a catalyst for growth that acts as a motivation to keep them going otherwise they would just be laid back.
They are already planned out for life just not motivated enough to go through with it. It is quite different when they have children by chance.
People who have children by chance are often reckless and would most times fail to rise to the occasion of parenting. But you see the one who makes the decision and plan towards becoming a parent? They are often time prepared for anything.
Came in from #dreemport
#dreemerforlife
I like how you gave me the instances and the outcome of each situation. From the above indication, it's fairly obvious that just having kids by chance isn't exactly a good step to take.
However, those that prepared themselves for the adventure before having kids usually have more chances of getting it right once kids start coming.
It's Humanities and I know that any discussion about humans is always filled with complexities. Still, it's very good to get your thoughts on this.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this discussion.
You are welcome 🙂
Even though I am not actually a number of having a whole lot of kids because I always feel it is not really quite necessary I will still say it is needed
Children are really important. It becomes a problem when people end up giving birth to kids without being willing to take on the responsibility that comes with parenting.
Ralph is one of the best out there. I haven’t seen this particular interview. Probably have to go find it
Ralph Barbosa is a Big Boss. The dude is doing really well
It depends on your capacity and how many kids you wish to have, but in some countries, we see some people who aren't capable of taking care of the children but they keep on giving birth. #dreemerforlife
This is also a big issue in Nigeria. A lot of people are giving birth every two years and they've reached the number of kids who they can't afford to raise. Yet, they keep giving birth. It's unbelievable.
Great post, and I believe that kids are blessing from God, it is ideal to have a small number of kids in this time and generation because the economy is not smiling and the hardship is becoming worst by the day so i will not like to allow my kids go through stress,so the amount of kids I would love to have is two, a boy and a girl.