No more making myself small

in Cross Culturelast month (edited)

Things are changing at lightning speed as they tend to do these days. I feel myself digging deeper into my programs than I ever have before.

This is a topic I want to write an evergreen piece on but I don’t have the time or energy right now so I’m going to share a rough draft of something I plan to write in more depth later.

I feel the shackles coming off. I thought I had liberated myself once, maybe twice, but I never really liberated myself from my most pervasive fears…perhaps the central one being the fear of attention.

I’ve already developed a come-what-may attitude when it comes to fame, I’m not longer running like I used to, but I’m still preventing myself from doing some things that are uncomfortable to me, simply because they will call attention to me.

Attention to me always meant danger. “The nail that stands out gets hammered down” is a Japanese proverb that people use to describe the collective nature of Japanese society, but it was my reality too growing up in suburban America, I’m sure it’s the reality of a kid growing up in a slum too, and that pressure must certainly exist in much of “high society”. “Don’t be different” “don’t stand out too much”.

Of course we praise the people who pull of being proud of their uniqueness, not only in the states but also in Japan. But we separate those people from the rest of society, placing them on pedestals so that we cannot relate to them. They are living lives that we only dream of, and accomplishing things that we only dream of.

If we do act different enough, there are many who will try to stop up, in almost every culture on earth. It manifests in different ways, but it’s always present in the presence of people who are not living in accordance with their heart, the illness which we must collectively heal in this new era.

The fear is not something to dismiss lightly. It is reasonable. If I had said all the things I wanted to say as a kid, I could have been put in a mental institution. If only I was a little smarter, I would have realized that my ideas were shared by many others but that they were afraid to speak too, otherwise The Matrix and Fight Club and Rage Against the Machine wouldn’t have resonated with so many people.

The secret has always been to encode these messages into art, but at some point some people need to stand up and live the way they believe and not let the potential consequences stop them.

If we have no desire to hurt others, if we are capable of being self critical, if we are determined enough, then perhaps it’s us who are meant to travel that road.

There are still things I will resist saying, just out of a tactical realistic observation of cause and effect. But if my heart tells me it’s something I should say, maybe the question isn’t about whether or not I should say it but how I should say it.

I’m done waiting to become the person I was meant to become. It’s no longer a question of when. Now. It’s merely a question of how, and my heart has all the answers.

—-

Go check out I+Everything, my music!!! And my novels!!!

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There's a similar saying about tall poppies but I don't know if the context is different.

Those pants are epic XD

Healing pants! Thanks for noticing!! I want to show you the jacket which I plan to buy in a year if it’s still available. It’s 🤯🤯🤯!!!!

Is it a patchwork and painted affair like one of my favourite ones? :D

Nice one and
nice outfit!

You should see the way I dress, these days...

i sure stand out more, since I'm together with @clareartista
and a suitcase filled with fancy clothes, that I brought with me from Italy,
sure helped with that ;<)

bro show me! We should have a fashion show, you me and naked @inuke of the jungle

I want to show you my potential wizard clothes. These pants are the tamest thing I tried on 😝 thanks for noticing btw!

Make a fashion post at least! 🙃
Love that the parallels are continuing even though we have’t spoken for a while!

Let's go. I got my shoes on.
BTW - The shirt thing is not going so well. 😂
More on this in my post later.

I guess it's hot there... 🏝️

P.S. Don't forget our chess game,

It is not that hot. Temp is around 28-32C. Good climate.
Thanks for the reminder. I had my phone notification turned off, Otherwise would have missed the game. Let's have a good one.

Yeih, big topic here as well!
I recently visited the village where I moved to at age 8, and where most of those fears had their beginning. That triggered a lot of memories and so much came to the surface again. Very grateful, I feel lighter now 😊

I looove your outfit! Especially the hat! Is it one of those that your girlfriend makes?

Congratulations on being able to face those!!! Let's enjoy the transformation! For me the hard part is no longer coming to peace with how these fears began, but learning to allow myself to be my natural size, because I know that I am someone who attracts a lot of attention naturally...maybe just part of being a creature of fire.

THANK YOU! The pants felt like a massive upgrade for me, WAYYYYY out of my price range but I felt like I had to buy something from this guy who makes really wild clothes that I've been way too shy to wear up until now. And the hat is also very special to me. My girlfriend made it on my request, and added the bright pink spot at the top which made me nervous at the time but ended up being my favorite part!

She's made a new one too. I will share that soon! It's more of a winter one and it's just starting to get cold here.

:-D

Can we ever get to the point where completely liberate ourselves? The more open up ourselves, the more we discover more and more. Cheers.

I think that’s a lot of the fun of life. If we ever reached an end point it would be boring but I don’t believe there is an end point!

The fear of being hammered is real.

You don't really get the opportunity to grow into an exceptional being, while in society.
You have to jump from normal to exceptional in one go.
Often like becoming a butterfly. A metamorphosis.

However, you will lose a great many "friends", but they were never really friends.

Like, becoming rich.
You have to leave all your poor thinking friends.
And your poor thinking friends will keep you from ever becoming wealthy. (in a million ways, in a million sayings. (Like YOLO, why are you saving for? Come on, come party with us tonight.)

And when you become rich, you find you can't even talk to these poor minded people. Your reality and theirs are too different.

I am YOLOing too haha but it’s definitely an abundance YOLO. Not allowing myself to be tied down by inherited fears that never were compatible with who I wanted to be.

You are totally right.

I lived outside of society for 5 years, trying to survive without money and grew a sturdy foundation to heal. Now I’m going to start building on top of it, interacting with society, on my terms, aware of the limitations of the terrain but willing to pop in and out according to the situation.

think I already scared away all those friends who would run away or try to keep me the same, but what I noticed recently is that suddenly I’m “important” again among the people I do know. They can sense that there is something going on with me.

Hope everything is well with you!!
🔥 🔥 🧙 🔥 🔥

It's good for you that you are now opening yourself with more opportunities!

Fishes doesn't grow in their tanks, they grow in the ocean:)

this is why I am in the city. It challenge me to grow. Once I am much more in line with who I want to be and in a tota flow state I want to move to nature and start something interesting there

Yay!! Make it happen. You sound ready! :)