I am sure most of us went to a family reunion of some sort last holiday season. I'm sure that whole there are some who may be actually genuinely excited about the event, most of us dread this day. I know a few who chooses by default to skip these reunions. And I get them. This is the moment when the family or the clan gather together so the grownups would pass judgement on the youth. I know they say this isn't the purpose of this event but it sure seem like the main agenda.
At my age, I get to be both Tita and Pamangkin on family reunions. I am so glad to have finally crossed over to the orher side from the pamangkin level to the tita levels. I still remember vividly the several questions, comments, and suggestions that my titos amd titas gave me when I was still young. None of those were in any way solicited. Now that I get to be Tita to my pamangkins, I'd like to put an end to the yearly tradition of the neverending awkwards and offensive questions to the youth.
I've listed down a few things that a Tita or Tito should not do during family reunions.
- If your pamangkin is single, don't ask when they are going to get married.
- If the pamangkin is married, don't ask when they're going to have a child.
- If the pamangkin has one child, don't ask when they're going to add one more children to the family.
You should be getting the grip here. Their relationship plans is none of your business. Yes, you are their tita and yes, we know you are just concerned about them. But the fact that they are grownups means that they have a lot of several things they are dealing with. None of which should be in your business interfering with.
- Don't ask for their current salary
- Don't ask if they already have savings
In general, someone's current salary is not any other people's concern. Finding out how much a person earns may feel like you are weighing how you would treat the person based on the figure they'll divulge. Their financial standing is also a topic that is none of your business, Tita.
- Don't compare one pamangkin against another pamangkin.
This is usually a folloe up response after the Tita finds out what the Pamangkin's job is. Always remember, each and every pamangkin had theirnown career paths amd each of them are in their own seasons in their life. Comparing one's achievement against the other subconscioysly pits the two pamangkins against each other. Which is not such a cool thing when it comes to family.
- If one of the pamangkins gained weight, avoid - with all your might - to comment on that unless you are asked for your opinion about it.
- No, the thin kid isn't underfed, she just has's grown fatter since you lasg saw her and she knows tgat already so you don't have to comment on that either.
Comments about body weight is reallt not such a cool auntie move.
- If someone is spending too much time outside or isb't mingling, just check with them if they're fine. They're not trying to be aloof, their social battery might have run low. If that's the case, leave them be and don't force them to join the games. Not everyone is extroverted.
Now it might seem that there are so many topics that Titas need go avoid duribg Family reunions, what would be left to talk about? Instead of giving out comments after comments about your pamangkin's life, why not just ask them how they're doing. Sometimes all it takes is a very sincere "How are you, dear?" If the kid responds with more than just a "I'm finr" , then you just started a conversation. Just keep it going without having to ask those un-cool tita questions that our titas used glto ask us too.
Dob't get me wrong. I love titas. They are like your moms too but sometimes a lot less stricter than your own mom. Most of their comments usually come from a place of love, it's just delivered in the most awkward judgy way sometimes. If you let the kids talk during these family reunions, you'll find out a lot about your pamangkin, then the more you'll have a fun time with them, the more they'll enjoy the gathering. And when they enjoy the gathering, the more the family reunion becomes fun. The less they'll dread coming over. You might not be their favorite aunt but at least you won't be their most hated Tita.
You are really on point. It good to always mind their business, to avoid misunderstanding or insult.
Madami din ako Judgy tito and tita pero natuto na lang ako disregard ung mga comments nila hahaha wala naman sila ambag char hahahaha
True! Dati pag tinatanong ako kelan susundan si Aya sabi ko di di na namin gusto sundan. Sabi da kim amg selfish ko raw. So ung sunod na kitakits namin tinanong ako ulit sabi ko in all seriousness na mag aampon kami if kaya na ng finances namin. Siguro namam di na selfish yung ganun. Edi tinantanan na ko kakatanong. 😅
hahahahha sameee! sabihan din kami na anak pa kayo like sila ba ang magaalaga o nagpupuyat, mga paladesisyon diba hahahah
Absolutely on-point! ✅
Actually, I do have Titas who offended me in so many ways during family gatherings, but I just shrug them off. The only thing I want now for my niece and nephews, is for them to have Tita that's really cool and the one they won't avoid during family reunions.
Yes, tayong mga titas ng generation na to ang magwawakas ng mga tradition ng mga judgerist na titas. Hahaha.
This year, my wife and I opt not to celebrate with our relatives. Maybe napagod kami "makisama". :D
Anyway, good read!
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Thanks for dropping by. Sometimes it's better pag yung kayong family na lang talaga, wala yung extended family sa mga celebrations. Di nakaka drain ng energy.
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Of course it is true that when all the people gather like this, fights also happen, so it is better to avoid all such talk and when the family gathers together, sit down and have a good chat. And enjoy the life.