Monday, April 04, 2022সোমবার, ২১শে চৈত্র, ১৪২৮ বঙ্গাব্দ,
Privilege comes in many different shapes, sizes and forms. I hate to go dark on this forum, but I feel quite strongly on this concept, and I must share a very old quote by Lev Tolstoy….
"I sit on a man's back choking him and making him carry me, yet assure myself and others that I am sorry for him and wish to lighten his load by all means possible… except by getting off his back."
From where most of you are, you can take the above comment when you get onto a rickshaw during a very hot summer day. Especially in the following days, when perhaps the guy pulling hasn't eaten anything since dawn, and now this is late afternoon, and that tropical sun is baking over your head, and you feel privileged and sad all at the same time while counting your crypto earning on your smartphone. Feeling privileged yet?
So next time when you sit down with a bunch of like-minded friends and talk about 'white privilege' or 'western privilege', which is common and easily defined these days, please think about how privileged you are yourself. You are in a relatively safe and stable country. I had a meal in the morning and will have a meal in the evening. There is no missile strike on your apartment building. You are in such a part of the world where the climate is moderate, meaning a snowstorm or tornado is not going to kill you. Likely you have a shelter on top of your head, and no one is taking it away overnight. You have family and friends, and they love you. You have some money that you can buy a cup of tea or ride that rickshaw.
You know half the population of the world can't do what you can. Probably half the population of your own country can't do what you can. So yes, 'west' is privileged, and yes, those corporate employees of the multinationals living in Dhanmondi are privileged. I am, who is writing the editorial, is also privileged. But my point is so are you! Live with it!
This post right here really caught my attention and made me think for a bit, it had to. Because I do consider myself to be a “family person”. This post from @squids really made me think twice about it and made me think about my priorities in life. It made me ask myself a few questions, and when I could finally answer those questions of mine, I saw that I was somewhat on the right path. But even this positive change and “family man” mindset came a bit late, yet I am glad I realized it rather sooner in life than later.
I’ll end it here with a line from the featured post: “we should take the time out of our busy lives, to spend time with our loved ones, we never know what may happen
Author - @squids - The Time We Have Left With Our Loved Ones
We are also delighted to announce two honorable mentions of the week.
| Authors | Highlights |
|---|---|
| @tezmel | My Coloured Ink |
| - | - |
| @kirlos | The Perfect Technique - Inkwell Prompt #59 |
-- by @zayedsakib
— কত কামাইলা আজকে
— হুরু মিয়া! হুদা কতা কওয়া ছাড়া আপনার কাম নাই? রোজার মইধ্যে এই গরমে মানুষ বাইরায়?
— তাইলে তুমি বাইরাইসো ক্যা? ঘরে হুইয়া থাকতা!
শুনে সোহাগের মুখটা রাস্তার পিচের মত কালো হয়ে গেল। এই আচমকা রঙ পরিবর্তন সারাদিনের ক্লান্তি তে নাকি আজকে ভাড়া মেরে তেমন সুবিধা করতে না পারায়, তা বোঝা বেশ মুশকিল। রমজান মাস নেয়ামতের মাস, কিন্তু সোহাগের জন্যে উলটা বেশ পীড়াদায়ক।
গরম কালের বিকেলের আকাশ বেশ সুন্দর। মেঘবিহীন গগনে সন্ধ্যা লেগে এলে বায়ু কোণে কেমন এক লালচে গোলাপি আভা খেলা করে। ধরায় বসে বেহেস্তের সম্মুখ নিদর্শনের এত কাছাকাছি এই বুঝি আসা যায়। কিন্তু সোহাগের এসব উপভোগ্য মনে হচ্ছে না এখন। তার হিসেব নিকেশ অনেক গোলমেলে হয়ে আছে৷ মাসের শুরুতে যেখানে সবার কাছে টাকা থাকে, তার পকেট রাত্রি বারোটায় গড়ের মঠের মত শুন্য।
রোজার মাসে ইফতারের সন্ধিখণে বাতাসে লোভনীয় খাবারের গন্ধ আদুল ভাবে ভেসে বেড়ায়। সোহাগের প্রতিবেশী বাজারের ঠিক মাঝখানে এবার টেবিল বসানোর জায়গা পেয়েছে। এই এক মাস কুপিয়ে কামাই করে নিয়ে ছয় মাস চিন্তা মুক্তি পাবে সে। সোহাগের কপালে এরকম রোজগার এত দশকেও একবার আসলো না। টেবিলে রাখা ছোলা, আলুর চপ, চিংড়ির চপ সহ বাকি সব আইটেমের ওপর মাছি তাড়ানোর লাঠি ঘুর্ণয়নরত। লোলুপ দৃষ্টিতে একবার তাকিয়ে রিকশার প্যাডেলের ওপর চাপ বাড়ালো সে। সময় ক্ষেপণ করে লাভ নেই। এই টেবিলে দশটাকা খরচ না করলে, তার এই মাসের বাসা ভাড়ার জন্য ওইটুকু কষ্ট কম করা লাগবে।
-- by @surrealfia
I was born Privileged... And I still am...
Since during my childhood, I had led a life where I never had to ask for anything. I got all the fanciest clothes, the sparkling shoes matched with all the outfits and gadgets too.
I never had to ask anyone to buy me anything. I didn't lack "things."
My father worked hard enough to provide the family with the posh life we all deserved and my mother, the homemaker managed our life. It was a good life all in all. The bungalow that I lived in was huge, with plenty of rooms and a few gardens with so many fruit trees and such, and also had a swing. We had staff provided by the office my father worked in as well as cars at our disposal.
A picturesque privileged life.
It was an enviable life to the ones outside, who can only look at how lavishly we were living but cannot place themselves in that picture.
And now?
No no, I still have a privileged life, a big house, enough money for anything I can and want to buy, an education from a reputed university, and a good-paying job. Do I sound contemptuous? I don't mean though. I'm living a privileged life where many are struggling to barely survive. How to complain about life so furnished when some are living in the streets and fighting for one barely proper meal a day? I shouldn't complain, I have a good life but this reeling feeling of deficiency I can't ignore. There's something going on - I'm not saying what I want to say.
I'm not contemptuous but this privilege that I have enjoyed for all these years has given me some sort of a caged life - not entirely caged but it had prevented me from figuring out what I truly want from this life. Till now, I have wanted what any others have wanted, a privileged life that stays privileged, and now the very word has changed its meaning and purpose for me. The life that I'm living is considered a good life; great - to some extent. But its no longer seems appealing.
Until now my life has run me, I haven't run my life.
I'm in need of a drastic change - it's long overdue. I no longer want to let my life run me and it's high time I control it however I see fit. I have seen people go through with this and not have the slightest clue. This year I'm set out to change everything; I'm not sure yet if I'll be successful. I have set out to change the definition of "privilege" in my life and nor will I look for comfort in things that don't matter much to me. Moreover, I will be using the tools that are already at my disposal to achieve what I desire. And why shouldn't I? Not one to sit and be disdainful; if I succeed, life will be anything I want it to be and if failed, I'd accept whatever life has to offer. I know, I'm at a major turning point, a "make it or break it".
Let your life run you or you do the driving.
-by @drivingindevon
My father is a person who loves painting.
If you give him a piece of paper and a pen, you will find him squabbling away on it without realising. And often, his little sketches turn out better than anything I ever drew, even with all the art supplies I've managed to hoard throughout my life.
A few days ago, I bought a huge chunk of paints and brushes. I'm not a painter, keep in mind, but I thought it would be fun to learn and mess around with colours a bit. And when I showed them to my dad, I saw a bittersweet expression fall upon his face.
You see, when my dad was young, he never had any colour pencils, let alone any paints. These things were considered luxury items back then, and being the fourth son out of twelve siblings, it wasn't something he could ever get his hands on. He got his first set of colours when he got into university. It was one of his uncles who bought him of him a twelve colour set of Favor Castle pencils. And that man adored that set of pencils so much that he actually used them until he could no longer sharpen them up.
Due to being an architect back in the days, he did get to buy his own sets of various colours and inks when he started his job, and to this day, most of the things he hag bought thirty to forty years back, are still neatly stored in a briefcase atop his wardrobe.
The reason why I'm talking about this is that this man knows the value of things, and that's because these things weren't in plenty for him in his life. And it's the struggle you face that makes everything in your life seem worthwhile.
I know for a fact that the paints set I have now, if my father had the privilege of being able to use them, the same thing in his early days, he would've treated it like a prize; where's I let it stay scattered upon my desk without care.
Being privileged is just that to me. Taking things for granted, thinking of things as valueless. We have now moved to a modern era, where getting what you want, is easy. Most of us don't even know what hardship is. We never faced it.
It's until you look at the older generation, who have faced wars, struggles, poverty and many many perils, that you understand how easy you have it. So appreciation for whatever we have now, as a generation, we need to practice deeply.
-- by @minhajulmredol
What are the first priorities to be fulfilled in our lives? Those are the basic human needs, many around us are having a hard time to fulfil them. Even the person that is working hand in hand with you might be struggling behind the scene to meet his basic needs. It was the Covid that snatched away the education right from one of my friends. I saw him quit midway and start a small business just to keep moving the wheel of earnings for his family, he had no choice but to take the step.
You know, even though I had some hard times at the beginning of 2020, I had to struggle a little bit, and then something great helped me, pulled me out of those hard times, and gave me the hand to have my comfort in life. That's Hive, it gave me the opportunity to run things smoothly, gave me the freedom of being self-dependent. During the whole pandemic, I was on the safe side on this aspect, even now. Not only me but almost most of us in hive got the privilege to be above the line that hit many financially. I know many of us got that financial backup from our families, nothing to worry about, that's also a privilege, isn't it? Many of our friends are struggling there and we are well-off in that segment, even we have a source through Hive to stay above the line by ourselves, not everyone has these benefits. That's surely a privilege to consider ourselves lucky.
-- by @riz611
What is privilege? What does it really mean to be privileged? And why does it matter so much?
All I know is, that it seems to be quite a sensitive topic for many. Whereas some don’t even know that a word or “thing” known as “privilege” even exists, or maybe they simply choose to ignore it when the topic pops up?
How do you see it? How much privilege is “too much”? Yet, quite honestly, who are we to decide? How can we be so sure that we’re the perfect candidates to tell the difference between who’s got too much, who’s got less, and who’s got ABSOLUTELY NOTHING? I say a bit of bias works in everyone’s minds, some more and some less. So, it becomes quite a tough job really, not easy being the judge in such situations, about such sensitive matters.
What I really want to talk about, is that most of us are quite good with our imagination when making comments or jumping to conclusions. We all become quite the artist when it comes to making up scenarios in our heads. Really good at cooking up some creative scenes and thoughts in our minds about someone and how they live their lives. We don’t take much time to think, before putting a tag on someone. Whatever “truth” or type of scenario we’ve duped ourselves into believing at the get-go is what most of us decide to rely on. As if it’s all solid facts and we’re all like some type of an all-knowing, mind-reading mutant or Superman with X-ray vision.
Let’s take the common “privileged person” as an example, a guy you see driving around in a car that his father got him for his birthday surely seems to be quite privileged in our eyes, and maybe even a spoiled rich brat on top of that. What does he really lack in life? It seems that he’s got it all, everything is served on a silver platter. But most of it’s all materialistic, the love and value for such things fade away quickly, most of us know that. Yet, why don’t we ever talk about love? Family? Unity? Did you go to the extent of asking him about his personal life? The one he lives indoors, the one which very few have access to? We all can clearly see a guy “flexing” around with daddy’s money, having access to whatever one might need or want. Yet, do you truly know if that’s what the guy really wants? Does having a lot of money alone make you privileged?
It's possible he's industrious and has a large family, or his father just doesn't have the time for him. In spite of all their wealth, they still can't find the time to spend with one other. Even if the child is able to organize his schedule and is eager to spend time with his family, what if he isn't a top priority to them? A big house, yet empty, a luxurious dinner table in the middle, but there are not a lot of people present in the house when it’s dinner time, none to occupy this huge table with the many comfy chairs it has to offer.
So? What now? Do the child and his family fall into the category of being privileged? Or have the numbers gone down a bit on the “privilege meter”?
This topic has WAY too many questions and answers, way too many possibilities. A ton of numbers that my lazy brain doesn’t want to process anymore. All I can really say is that some of us see privilege in materialism, for some, it’s a proper 3 meals a day and a roof over their heads, for others it’s simply having access to electricity and clean water.
One simply can’t provide an explanation or the correct answer to all of this. I believe it’s something way beyond our powers and capabilities.
Yet, I do believe there’s something in our control, something that’s in charge of maintaining balance. It may be the universe, reality, fate, or whatever the hell we all believe in at this point in history. It’s all balanced through the different categories of our lives, yet sometimes it’s the same category, but it just takes place in a different phase of life I guess.
-- by @tajimkhan
আকাশের দুঃখগুলো চোখের পানির মতো বৃষ্টি হয়ে নেমে ভিজিয়ে দিলো পিচঢালা মিথ্যা পথটাকে। রাস্তার গাড়িগুলো তাই যেনো অভিমান করে আর যাবে না। যাবে না তো যাবেই না। যতদূর চোখ যায়, গাড়ির মিছিল৷ কোথাও প্রশান্তির এতটুকু লেশমাত্র নেই। সব মন খারাপ ঘ্রাণ, ক্লান্তি আর অবসাদ একসাথে মিশে একাকার।
বৃষ্টিটা যেমন না বলে হুট করে এসেছিলো, তেমনি একটা ছোটো মেয়ে হাজির হলো নীল রঙের গাড়িটার সামনে। বেদনার রঙের গাড়ির জানালার স্বচ্ছ কাঁচ নেমে জানালা থেকে বের হলো একটা হাত। মুঠো বন্ধ সেই হাত টা মেয়েটাকে কিছু একটা দিলো। তখন মেয়েটা যেই হাসিটা দিলো, খোদার কছম, এই বিশাল জ্যামের সব দুঃখ, লজ্জায় একেবারে ধুয়ে মুছে নিঃশেষ হয়ে গেলো। মাথায় হুডি দিয়ে মুখ লুকিয়ে জ্যামের সাথে পালিয়ে গেলো অবসাদ, ক্লান্তি।
গাড়িদের মন খারাপের মশাল মিছিল
-- by @tahminasyed
Tingling of fears within me
suffocates the hazards growing.
Calamities of thoughts,
overwhelm my soul.
Why are the stars hampering my lore?
Was it the stars,
keeping me awake the night?
Was it the men,
starving to rise from within?
Is it the guards, shifting, and shuffling?
Why am I being threatened?
Is it the life of being privileged,
then why am I suffering?
Cushions of words peek at me,
yet haunting glares pierce my soul,
then why am I told to choose,
when all that I have is to obey?
Shifting phrases stare at me,
yearning to unlock the brewing rage,
yet the cuffs bound me,
hints of hesitation defeat the course.
Is it the life of a privileged?
Dollars here, dollars there,
a shelter of immense luxury engulfs my surroundings,
then why am I told to choose,
when all that I have is to obey?
Shuddering interests melt my being,
tending, nurturing my sole existence.
However, I am left with thorns and scars,
tending to my short existence.
Long luxurious upbringing has blurred their gazes,
while I yearn for a little respect and love,
yet dragged I am with the bruises over,
just to maintain your honor.
Locked I am with persistent harassments,
to fulfill your desire of respect and love.
Your definitions have ruled my life,
my twenty-four years, ruined and disappeared.
Now, I am left with half the plate,
full of torment and full of curses,
left with garments of snorting words.
When all I have is to obey,
then why am I told to choose?
Is it the life of being privileged,
then why am I suffocating?
The End!
Our love ones mean the world to us and come to think of it, without them we are nothing and the world would seems meaningless to us.
It was a great lesson derived from the weekly Turni, one love.
True, some don't have this blessing anymore, and we are lucky to have this besides us and should be grateful enough.
Nicely said 🤗
I agree with you, I remember when my friend sourav said that everyone who has access to the Bangla lounge of BD community server is privileged. I myself Got a lot of backup from this community and hive. Also It's create a good opportunity for me to do something big 💥.
Do everyone considers this? many get indifferent to this privilege and mess things up.
This is not just about hive, we have so many things to intake from the server.
Privilege are meant to be valued and seen as a treasure because life might not be able to offer us with the diverse privilege we are looking for at times.
I must join in the next hangout
True indeed.
The sooner we realize this, the better it will be for us to make the best out of ourselves.
I didn't know that phrase by Lev Tolstoy, but I think that even if I tried hard, I couldn't describe how much it touched me.
I've also been thinking about the things I've always wanted to have that I have now but it just doesn't seem like enough. I mean, I know how much I still need to conquer to be able to give my daughter a great life, to be able to travel and see the places I dream of so much, to be able to go to a supermarket and put all the food that my family needs without worrying so much about the price, without having chosen cheap brands. But I think about it so much, and these things frustrate me so much that I wonder if I really need it that much, if I shouldn't just be grateful and relax and just keep working believing that what I need come like consequences.
Parents do tend to think of giving the best to their children and shielding them from everything so that no harm would come to them and they don't have to face the adversities of the world, but when the children do grow up and it's their time to leave their nest, this shielding behavior totally has them unprepared for what's coming to them
In fact, handing over everything to my child is not my type of education. When I refer to giving the best I mean good school, swimming, fighting and dancing classes, those things that money can provide.
খুবই অসহায়ের টানাপোড়নের জীবন! এই অসহায়ত্বের কাছে এই অল্প কিছু চাওয়াও পূরণ হলো না!
আমাদের এই অল্পটায় কারো কারো কাছে পাহাড়সম হয়ে দাঁড়ায়।
একদম তাই! আর এই অল্প কিছু না পাওয়ার কষ্টগুলো, নিজের মনের অন্তরালে লুকিয়ে রাখে, সহজে তারা কারো সামনে তুলে ধরে না!
পরিস্থিতির শিকার, প্রকাশ করেও লাভ আছে? নেই।
কে শোনে কার কথা, সবাই যার যার মাথাব্যাথা নিয়ে ব্যাস্ত।
একদম, সবাই মগ্ন যার যার মাথাব্যথায়।
Living comfortably in our room and having meals 3x a day, we often forget how privileged we are compared to those who are sitting in front of a restaurant in the hope to get some leftovers to eat and feed their children. It's a feeling perceived by those who are already in such situations. We, the privileged won't ever understand how they actually feel, nor did the poets feel while writing all those pieces about hunger and suffering; just a superficial expression of their imagination— deep enough though.
Some people are privileged to understand the market demand and act accordingly, like you mentioned @zayedsakib bro, Iftar items are way too pricey. Last day I bought a few items, cost me a hundred! I was in awe and started calculating what would cost me if I had them prepared at home.
Not every one of us is as privileged as you @surrealfia sis, but I can assure you, we, who still have the option to call someone our Father are the most privileged in this world for that they are the shields; strongest of them all.
Fathers are talented, this way or another— you just know when you know @drivingindevon :)
At BDC, we all are privileged, I believe. And like you @minhajulmredol bhai, the support from the community has relieved me from many obstacles earlier, still doing so, to be honest.
By the word privileged @riz611 bhai, I believe, it's a feeling of superiority over any living being— be that even a dog or that begger. Even though comparing a wealthy person with a beggar can't be supported by solid reasoning, still, we could be him— but, here we are— among the privileged.
Just what I have said in the above para @tajimkhan bhai, that little girl could be our sister, or even us— gratitude to the Almighty for that we are not.
And, I am not into poetry that much, but your choice of words (mostly hard) makes me think that's a nice piece @tahminasyed.
well, my Privileged life has given me many things but also has deprived me of many things... think about t this way, you have been handed everything that you could need or want so you never had to ask for anything, you never had to think if you need anything... and that thought had ruled over me so much because I believed whatever I was given or still being given, I should be happy with it... but I should think about what I want and I should work for things that I want from life... A privileged life is a sheltered life and the moment that security is gone the world will crash on top of you and you won't be prepared for it
Yes, that makes sense and I feel like the situation is synonymous with that frog in the well.
I was in the same situation for more than two and a half decades and now I can realise how hard life can be when you are on your own. Even though I can still get support from my father whenever I wish but I think I'd rather not....it's better to learn to live out in this wilderness before he is gone.
That is something i see with my eyes every now and then. That disparity is present everywhere! Sometimes i feel disgusted at myself thinking here i am, being able to have 3 meals everyday and do things, and then there are others around me who can afford maybe two. And then sometimes i feel just greatfull for being even alive. Contrasting, i know, but thats just life in the end.
Life puts us into many challenges and being alive despite odds is one of them. If you are still surviving, that means you are special and receiving the endless mercy of the Almighty. So, being humble is what we all can do to celebrate 'aliveness'. And that feeling of getting disgusted for having a better life while others don't is enough to understand you are already humble. Stay alive brother.
That you are right about. Father's are talented, and they have known a harsher world.
Indeed fathers are talented, otherwise, how possibly they could shape and nurture talented souls like you and others. 😊
Could be a lot of things bhai. All I know is, that I don't really understand much when it comes to this exact topic. Maybe I'm lazy or just too ignorant to look into it all, like I've said before...
That's some privileged thought, I must say. Your mind is way too privileged and RISH to bother about the word itself 😂
True, I usually try to stay away when a lot of confusion is involved. Especially when it all includes a huge ass crowd and a lot of POVs. 😵
I'm not getting paid for the research or debate, so why bother.....🤓
— well this hit really really hard...
@surrealfia take control medusa. We will be right there with you. Sometimes a little chaos is good. The freedom that comes right after, I think its worth leaving luxuries.
@zayedsakib the everyday story to most of the lower class people in our country. And also a thing we all like to ignore whenever we are out and about.
@minhajulmredol we are all incredibly privileged to be a part of this ecosystem. So we really need to give back and leave our footprints.
@riz611 Isn't that true. We humans hardly ever want to look at the mental peace of a person. Even with all the riches in the world, some of us are utterly depressed. Things like love, compassion and company are looked over when someone has the money. Money never really does bring happiness. It can provide a comfortable life, but at what cost, really?
@tajimkhan মনটা ভালো হয়ে গেলো এটা পড়ে। :)
@tahminasyed
— this line hit hard. Really hard. The depth of this one line. Only those who faced similar situations will know how it feels.
Same question, same question...
I might be heading towards a shitstorm and I know you guys are with me which gives me the strength to face it... come to think of it, if you guys didn't barge into my life, I may not have thought of doing something like this so thanks to you
Awww medusaa! We are with you dont you worry. Ride ahead. Any shit storms, we shall face it together.
Indeed. I feel this close connection ultimately joins us all. But, I am not sure whether to be happy or sad, maybe mixed feelings?
I always wonder that ☺️ !lol
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As an unemployed, thanks to pandemic I can understand the feeling of most. And despite being off well comparatively, I feel the heat. I am motivated to do a post showing you what I feel in my present situation and what I am going through right now. Rejected, dejected is least that's all I can say.
Rejected and dejected are solid words, it feels like a very close friend. Feelings that bound you to something more living are what will teach you in the long run. It is not soothing, but it has the power to change one's whole lifestyle.
👍