Self reflections through barricade
A few weeks ago I went through some of the most testing phase on the chain and when I looked around, I couldn't see some of the people I'd regularly see on a daily basis asking real-time questions, or showing concerns as to what is really happening, it felt surreal, it was like the proverbial story of Jesus being kissed by Judas for 30 pieces of silver, or better still, the cock crowing three times before midnight and Jesus being betrayed three times by Peter.
One thing I learned from this biblical allusion was that Jesus' name actually preceded him, the persona behind the name was just a regular man with the divine spirit of God the Son inside him. Jesus was all flesh and blood, so he was susceptible to temptations, trials and challenges even if his persona and reputations suggested otherwise, he was afraid of death at the last hour, this might feel a bit "weak" but he was actually afraid of death because he was a spirit in the body of a human. Did you see the mention of the word "human"?
Sometimes in life, when the reputation of a person precedes them, they're expected to be infallible, perfect or immune to human emotions. These expectations make these people want to live beyond some unthinkable standards, making them make human mistakes or revealing a humane side to them.
The truth is, I've been on this chain for quite a long time now developing and growing with it, sometimes I look at how I have managed to blend with the constant evolving of the activities and development in relativity to having real-time struggles and real time financial issues and I think it can only be phenomenal.
If I begin to measure the risk and price of consistency then I'll have to show you the opportunity costs. The life lost, the times spent on self development, the less value I've had to equate to a degree (rightly so, but not the risk a lot of people would be willing to take) and a lot.
The focal point is, people see a trophy or poster boy who has everything he needs and didn't need to fight for anything. They see am extremely wealthy person who is lucky to be at that position, but I've always talked about reputation.
Reputation is an aspect of us that isn't really us, it is like a beacon that shoots far into the night, people tend to see these beacons, they're marvelled by it and as a result of being lost in all that beauty, they forget to even question the source of the beacon. When it comes to reputation, It's the first part of us that people tends to see immediately they get to have a first impression of us.
They use this to actually judge a person rather than using second or third or even the last impression. For this, I've been thoroughly disappointed. Over the course of those few weeks, I've felt extremely empty, despite being in the midst of people who would consider themselves comrades to me.
However, personality differs from reputation, while personality is the real representation of a person, reputation is the concocted or deified version of that person. This is why we have people in real life who are suffering depression.
On social media they're deemed to be perfect, they have an entity, an avatar that tells a different version of story of whom they originally are and this isn't just misplaced but somewhat unfair in the grander scheme of things. This is to so that, I've personally undergone my own version of depression, what made it difficult was being in the midst of many people who closed their doors or feigned ignorance.
It still reminded me of the fact metal and plastic are solid in their usual forms until heat is applied, and then the difference begins to show. I was a situation that reminded me that I might be surrounded by more plastics and less metals and it felt incredible to walk on a journey alone with lots of emotions flooding through me.
Nevertheless, we learn, relearn and unlearn, sometimes we equate invincibility to ourselves because it's a characteristic of the reputation we often embody, this is because we cannot change the impression of the reputation we actually carry, it's what people tend to see.
A lot of people have looked wrongly on my member, as only a few people knows the real-time challenges, the breakdown and the pain of trying to live up to expectations. But then, people would probably keep seeing a side to one's reputation that isn't entirely pleasing no matter one's attempt to do right.
However it is, I've been right disappointed to go through things alone, walk my path of shame and lived the pain of unfair repercussion. To the few who has stood by me, I am immensely grateful.
Interested in some more of my works?
People & Assets: A Probable Investment?
Emotions: The Impressions & Expression
War-torned (An Original Poem)
Sunk Cost On Limited Resources & Time
Crypto: An Aspect Into Personal Finance
My name is @Josediccus, a young Nigerian entrepreneur who is a Vlogger, A Psychologist, Poet, Sports Writer/Analyst & Personal Finance Coach. I'm using my contents as a process to create shared meaning as well as create expressions through which people on/off hive can relate. I believe content is a process to be enjoyed and relished and I'm up for any collaborations in my field stated above. Cheers
@Josediccus, your brother-in-pen & heart
I'm hoping to reach more people who are broken at heart and spirit, so share on any platform or reblog
Hello brother, I get your points; people don't see you but your beacon of light, the reputation. They raise your standards beyond what you really are that they don't bother look at the other side or struggle that you face.
Exactly, its probably one of the most dissapointing aspects of reputation, it attracts the wrong mentality, the wrong attentions and the wrong people for the wrong reasons.
Yeah true. I understand very much now. Sorry for being a plastic bro, now you have plus one metal 💪. I dey your back 😁
Lol brother man, I already appreciate you for everything.
The world only looks at the face value. They judge us by what is just in front. Hardly anyone bothers to see the hidden sides if the story.
I have heard from many people that I am lucky. Some even craved for being at my place. They see what is visible to them. They have no idea what battles I fought alone and pains I bore without giving it to anyone else's knowledge. Sometimes, I simply feel emotionless to such comments. At other times, I want to feel like screaming and tell them the facts you see about me are only the half truth. There are hidden truths too
Yeah, sometimes people don't see the efforts you put in, they equate every of your hardwork to luck which can be fair to some extent. In reality I try as much as possible to be my objective self, because nothing ever pleases people.
That's the truth. No matter how good we present us, people simply overlook everything when we do a little against their wills
We all mask our identity, sometimes our happiness is uncovered but the pain remains hidden from the world. The moments when the fake reputation masks our originality, they perceive our strength in another way. Our happiness which is not factual or permanent looks fortunate to them. And they want to be in our shoes. But there is a different struggle story for all of us Nah
Well said, the circumstances when took an exam of us, all the solids are melted into plastics and who remains metal I guess it's the version who is encountering this heat of situations.
Reputation can be dicey, it might or might not be a clear representation of who we are, but in my case, the reputation tends to fake the real personality which I try to present myself as. Its been a testing phase for me, but I guess I have no choice but to thrive.
and yet we are humans. the tendency to do humanly things is inevitable. but in order to guard our reputation, we sometimes dread the thoughts of displaying human emotions. We choose to walk the path of our sorrows, and pains alone. While allowing the world to see the happier side of us.
I'll leave you a song that reminds me about this kind of living every now and then. This guy calls everything we pass through, the human condition.
Wow, the music is emotional, things to listen to when one is down..
I am glad you liked it 😍
I came across a quote "they don't know how we got here but hate us for why we are".
Most of the strong people I know go through things alone and they prefer not to bother anyone. I'm the kind to lock myself up and cry till i feel alot better before facing the world with one huge smile.
They don't know the hell or the tears you had to pass through. The betrayals, disappointment and humiliation. But I guess that is what makes us different species because "if you're able to face the world alone, there is nothing you can not do."
Which is why i don't bother replying to hate speeches or gossips. Because the disseminators only see what you have but have no idea how much you sacrificed to get it.
Everything is just like a one-sided coin, the side it will show to me will be different from the side it will show to others because they are viewing it from a different perspective.
Our reputation at times decoy the true person under the mask, they believe you're okay just because of your reputation, and they tend not to render any help or stay by your side because they think you're okay with doing that yourself, and that's the side we are getting it wrong. We are all human and at a point, we might get weak.
Yeah, they see that the shoe looks good on you, not knowing the pain you're passing through on that shoe, they don't know if it hurt or not, instead, they keep viewing things in their perspective because of the reputation...
Well, they'll get to understand if they also work on the same shoe. Judging things because of reputation will induce so many wrongs.