[ When I'm sad I write sad stuff...this is sad stuff. ]
She asked me with a sad smile playing on her thin lips.
Her face had a mask of sorrow on it,
While her gaze examined me like I was a subject of an experiment.
She was curious, just like the rest of them.
Trying to see if there was any mud I've kept hidden from her and everyone else.
And she was so sure I did hide it.
Acting like she knew it all, knew every stitch I hid under my shirt.
Acting like she had already read the book without even glancing at the cover.
And I looked at her.
Genuinely looked at her.
Trying to see if I could find something that didn’t seem like an act.
But that ‘something’, never came.
I wanted to scream for it.
I wanted her to show me what I needed,
So I could finally shatter myself like a glass and show her all my broken pieces.
I wanted her to show me something that wasn’t just plain curiosity,
Something that came from the soul without even trying,
Something that she meant just like the way she meant it when she said she wasn’t doing so well.
Like fire I wanted her eyes to spark up with it,
Even if it was just for one microsecond,
Like the flicker of light from a dying firefly,
I wanted her to show me what I was looking for.
So I could show myself to her in return.
But she didn’t.
Her face never lit up with it,
Her eyes never shone.
So Instead of yelling,
“Look at me!
My mind is messier than my bedroom,
I have more stories than I have hair on my skin and
I don’t know what to do to them besides covering them up with a blanket.
I can’t sleep at night because my nightmares never let me rest,
My smile is as real as my mental stability.
And even though my heart beats like a goddamn tornado under my fucking chest all the fucking time
I don’t feel alive at all
I don’t feel alive at all
I don’t feel...”
I smiled.
Bright and cheerful.
Smothering up the conversation with a well practiced line I have uttered a hundred times before.
“Enough about me. Tell me about yourself.”
The funny part?
She did exactly that without a second thought.
[ Image source ]
Sadness is a crucial part in our life as same as happiness. If sadness brings such beautiful word to life, I welcome them!
Being sad or the feeling of sadness must not be taken lightly. It is as amazing as the subtle blink of happy mind or the hollowness of a free soul.
So, I welcome sadness.
Nicely composed as well as a comfort reading. Keep it up...
Ahh yes! Sadness and Happiness are like a bundle package. You gotta have'em both in life.
I think it’s sadness and misery that brings out the best writings. I hate reading things that doesn’t make me feel. Emotions are a big drive when it comes to writing something that will be remembered.
Thank you for the compliment! I try I guess 😅
You remind me of reading Size The Day by Saul Below. It is an wonderful composition of the saddest mind.
And the most influential one was reading The Bluest Eye ; masterpiece of expressed grief I've ever read.
And about your fun project I want to mention it again...
more fun still to come. Keep up the goodwork!
Congratulations @whileatwiltshire! You have completed the following achievement on the Hive blockchain and have been rewarded with new badge(s) :
Your next target is to reach 30 posts.
Your next target is to reach 2500 upvotes.
Your next target is to reach 100 comments.
You can view your badges on your board and compare yourself to others in the Ranking
If you no longer want to receive notifications, reply to this comment with the word
STOPTo support your work, I also upvoted your post!
.......Thank you for making me speechless. :3
Don't hit home like that bitch, I will become homeless :3
You have a HOME?!?
Why didn't Iget the memo, I also want a home...-,-