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RE: A Discouraged Artist

in Discovery-it2 years ago (edited)

I thought the life of an artist was a sweet and easy one

aw, hellllllll no!!! 😹😜

from the "starving artists" to "crazy geniuses" and "eccentric rebel outsiders..." definitely not the easiest of paths to live a life completely outside the "norm," and comes with its own set of struggles & challenges.

How do I advise my friend Tayo not to give up? How do I advise him that life is in stages? How do I help him regain his lost confidence? How do I explain to Tayo that this is the price you pay to become great?

coming from an outside-the-box perspective, just one of several in which there may be something to contemplate: did he solicit your advice? (rhetorical question to trigger something...)

you & i are complete strangers at this point, so i know nothing of your design and what you're here to do for who, though can see some potential patterns in the choice of language so offer the reflection in case it may be helpful;

as much as we may dearly want to "help" others we care for, offering words of encouragement to get them through their hard times... sometimes it is not always our place, no matter how good the intentions. sometimes people gotta go through their own hardships and lessons without being 'advised' or 'told' anything.

having been full-on into all things personal development, motivation, inspiration, hustle culture, etc during my twenties, i've been through and can see alot of these types of patterns where we may wanna be the cheerleader, coach, etc... when no one ever asked for it, and it was never actually our role to play. (at one extreme example of this would be the "savior complex")

situations like this can be tricky, as the mind searches for answers, potentially reaching outside of the boundaries it may not always belong in; like, maybe Tayo does not need anyone to be asking strangers their advice for what to tell him... but rather you just being there for him as a friend through the hard times, no perfect words necessary, but the energetic presence of your support. *or maybe some reverse psychology - telling him (sort of dramatically, obviously playing a character and not really meaning it) to quit what he loves, do something he hates for the rest of his life so he can be basic and miserable, to get the message across not through the words, but the reflection in the contrast... or just speak from the heart - without any attachment, completely honoring his every choice and what he has to go through without attempts at interference.

(I recall a story about someone dealing with a suicidal person… rather than telling them the usual, “don’t do it cuz xyz” stuff, they approached totally differently - asking how they’d do it, unattached, actually being supportive of whatever process the person was going through… and totally better results than the usual trying to talk someone out of it. Perhaps similar - not everyone wants or needs the cheerleader pushing them. But merely someone to listen without trying to force their own preferred outcomes.)

i hope that sorta sums up the essence of what felt needed to come across. take with a grain of salt if doesn't fit.

he's definitely got some talent... ⭐️

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coming from an outside-the-box perspective, just one of several in which there may be something to contemplate

This was indeed an outside-the-box perspective, one that doesn’t just deal with this Tayo’s situation alone but life in general and yes I did contemplate on everything pointed out here, I read this comment over and again just to make sure I did not miss anything.

I will try to employ the reverse psychology method more and see how it plays out.

Thanks for taking your time to read and comment on my post😃