I think I understand what you're saying. It's a good analogy.
I think with art and creativity there is an element in which you're sort of presenting a piece of yourself to the world as well. In a way, a person is their art. It's a part of their identity, a part of who they are, so if the art isn't accepted maybe the person isn't being accepted. I think it can feel that way sometimes at least, in some circumstances and for some people. Wanting to be accepted and not wanting to be rejected is innate within us so I think it probably effects us on a conscious or subconscious level. I'm not saying that these things apply to you I'm just talking generally. The brain is powerful and mysterious in a way. We don't always know why we feel, think or behave in the ways that we do.
This...But how do you know that you don't suck?
It would seem that you dont suck.. lol 5000+ views seems pretty successful to me, but we all measure success differently as well so that is for you to decide.
Don't worry haha I probably get affected like everyone else. Also even if I am a bit of a lone wolf, I do feel the need to find an audience for what I create. I don't think we just create for ourselves.
Yeah, it's all about paying for advertisements. I am currently running an ad using google ads, so when people are on Youtube they can see it in their feeds or in suggested content. I didn't want to do a skippable ad before someone else's content, because I feel that I am imposing my music on someone else, whereas giving the choice to the person to click on it or not is, different.
Anyway, for now, people watch 20 seconds and then that's it...So that's the "views" you see. I am still not complaining, I'll run the ad until May and then we'll see!
There is so much content out there these days on so many platforms. You need to find ways of getting your stuff out there for people to see. ads like that seem like a necessity nowadays. Smart marketing really