I don't feel it's selfish how you handle your relationship with anxious people, it's just that everyone carries their own burden. It's good to listen and give encouragement but if the person wants to continue in permanent chaos it's their decision. Of course we want her to change her mind but we can't force her and it's not fair to take those problems personally because it's just another burden we can't carry. It is enough with ours and it is not lack of compassion, what I want to say is that if we already guided, we gave encouragement and we did what we had to do.