Are the Party Girls Truly Happy?
The social butterflies, the life of the party, the queen bees, are they truly happy? This question sparked a turning point in my life and brought clarity to what I truly needed when it came to friendships.
For the longest time, I believed female friendships were cursed. Drama seemed inevitable, the constant gossip, hidden insecurities, and that unshakable air of hypocrisy. One moment, your friend is gossiping to you about your other friend; the next, you realize she's saying the same about you to that very person. It’s like walking on eggshells, filtering every word, and putting on a performance of "slay queen" perfection. After-all, who would want to be friends with the soft girl who spends her weekends reading novels, clueless about the latest fashion trends or how to thirst-trap boys on Instagram?
I was curious about something I never had: the big social circle. The animated "Hey, Mide! You look amazing today," the casual "Hi love, party this weekend?" or the compliments about my outfit followed by a "Where did you get it?" I saw the other girls living like that and to me, that was the life. That was validation. That was what made people respect you, want to be your friend.
So I got into the groove, aligning myself with the popular girls. It felt like stepping into a world of glitters. But the glitter quickly faded, revealing what lay beneath, an unrelenting cycle of gossip which began to irritate me. Gossip about people, gossip about situations, and worst of all, gossip about one another. There was so much hypocrisy, I often wondered if anyone actually liked anyone.
The more I immersed myself in this world, the more I felt out of place. Was this what "friendship goals" really meant? Was it all about aesthetics and appearances, a competition for who could slay the hardest or post the most enviable party photos? I began to ask myself some hard questions: Is friendship supposed to feel this performative? This empty?
The turning point came when I started my self-awareness and growth journey. It was the best decision I ever made. Suddenly, my priorities shifted, and so did my circle of friends. I began shedding the weight of connections that no longer served me. Instead of seeking validation from external sources, I turned inward to rediscover what truly mattered.
Today, my life looks very different. My circle of friends is smaller, yes, but infinitely more meaningful. These are people who truly see me, who appreciate the quirky book lover in me, the lover of serenity, knowledge and good laughs. There’s no need for filters or masks; I can show up as my truest self without fear of judgment. Now, I love dressing up, going out but only FOR ME. Not because the girls group decides we are wearing purple today, it was ridiculous.
Ironically, I now have the "popularity" I was curious about, but it didn’t come from aligning with the queen bees or being the life of the party. It came from embracing my unique self, staying grounded, and living with intention. People respect me, not because I’m part of a crowd, but because I stand for something authentic.
There’s a calmness in my life now that I wouldn’t trade for anything. I wake up with clarity, knowing I’m not caught up in the noise of unnecessary connections or trying to fit into spaces where I don’t belong. The fewer distractions, the more I’ve been able to focus on what truly matters; my passions, my peace, and my purpose. I’ve learned to bask in the simplicity of it all. The quiet moments, the deep conversations, and the freedom of living without pretenses. And honestly, I’ve never been happier.
All pictures in this article are mine
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STOPI relate so much to this! Personally, I never ascribed to the "slay queen" mentality. It's fake and seems very superficial in encouraging you to have a better life. I'm definitely more like you, an outsider with my own values.
It took me a long time to understand that that's indeed how things work. I think we recognize what's genuine around us and we're drawn to it inevitably. :) I really enjoyed this post. Welcome to the community :)
Yes, you are right honestly. But I believe, there is a reason for everything. I probably wouldn't have been able to look inward and find myself if I never tried being them in the first place. And yes, we recognize what's genuine around us and are inevitably drawn to it, I love that statement. Thank you
Hey there!
We are delighted that you have discovered our community, and we look forward to seeing you around:)
We trust that you have seen our Introduction, Content Ideas & Posting Guidelines, which could be a great tool for the inspiration of content.
There's always some activity in the community, namely, our weekly publication called #KISS (an acronym for our community motto, Keep It Simple & Smart), presents you with blog ideas for the week, to boost community activities.
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Secondly, we have our Daily/Weekly Theme topics, where you can find the active week, however, you are free to present any minimalist-focused post at any time, as long as it is original content.
We do prefer original photos over sourced photos from the internet, and we find relevant photos to conceptualise your stories more interesting.
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Thank you so much.
Keeping friends without purpose is always like that and I was once stuck in that world but it wasn't long before I realised the consequences of chasing after quantity instead of quality relationships.
Just like, I made the right decision and here I am today. Welcome to the minimalist community.
Exactly. Now, it is all about quality over quantity. Thank you. 😊
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