For the assignment "Sequences": Turning water into wine.
#tldr Photography school is hard. But I chose it for a reason. Now I am noticing changes in how I perceive photography and there is no way back. #end-tldr
It already feels like a lifetime ago that I told myself that I needed to do a course in photography to get unstuck. I was at a point that I was annoyed with myself for only shooting cliche photos of nice places that I visited. But that was all that they were... "nice snapshots".
This idea started in Venice. The city gave me so much joy when walking around it, but I wasn't able to catch that in photography. And to be honest. I didn't even try because it never really came to mind that I could try that. All I could think about was that I just didn't see what proper photographers saw when looking for a shot. There was a photography shop that I visited a few times. They had amazing photos of the city and I was just jealous. If only, one day, I would be creative enough to take photos like that.
I started asking friends, who I saw develop into good photographers, what courses they did or would suggest. I checked websites, did some test lessons, read reviews, checked my bank account. And decided to go for a full 3-year education in image creation.
Why? Because most courses would just teach me about techniques and not train my photographic eye. And I felt that was going to be a waste of money. I decided to spend more on something that was likely pretty good and probably a bit overdone for what I was looking for. But I could always stop after a year if it wasn't for me, right?
Art school is so much different than IT-school
School... My class is pretty tiny. During the introductions, I felt completely out of place. They were already so experienced! All I had been doing was taking snapshots while traveling the world! My goal? Ehm... "become good enough to generate some passive income". My goal was never to become a full-time professional photographer!
What had I gotten myself into? We had to stop using photography to "register" something that we see, but more as a tool to tell our story. My geeky brain had a massive WTF moment. How was I ever going to figure that out?
We received a bunch of assignments. The first was about photographing the theme "light" without showing the light source. I started brainstorming all sorts of different meanings and uses of light. I ended up cheating a little with UV powder and blacklight.
In the following months, we struggled. Half the time, I didn't understand what made certain photos an interesting series. The teacher mentioned photographers being too present in photos. For a series about my street, I went outside on Kingsday to report about the activity in my street, and the series got thrown away because it was not about my street but about the event... "Just go sit outside on a bench in your street and observe what happens", my teacher said. The series had to be about the character of my street. I had no clue what I could even learn by doing that.
"I am completely in the wrong place!! I will never understand this!!"
Thankfully, I wasn't alone. One assignment was about photographing another student in their house. And then you start talking and it becomes clear we all have our own struggles. In hindsight, it makes sense. If we understood it from the start, we wouldn't need to be there.
When we got closer to the end, we were allowed to also show some "free assignments" work. I may not have understood the "freeness" of it correctly. But it got gently rejected. I was pretty desperate. because the thing they were looking for in images was something that I wasn't comfortable with: "Feelings". How on earth would you show feelings in your photos if you aren't even aware of your own feelings? I was sent home with a supportive "I think it could still be in there... but you need to go look for it a bit better". Whatever that may mean. "Squeeze it out of the images" is a term that I heard too many times and apart from upping the contrast, I have no clue what else that could mean.
Those rock-bottom moments are always very helpful somehow. But only when you look back! Back to the drawing board, I started thinking closer to home. "What can I photograph that tells more about who I am and what my life looks like?" I started working on my anosmia series
Change is subtle
During the end-evaluation, my teacher said about me that I made a final sprint. I can't pinpoint when I started seeing a little bit of light. I remember staring at my photos of the subway of Amsterdam and looking for a feeling belonging to what I had in front of me. At some point, I saw something in there. And I started somewhat seeing what my teacher meant. That was confirmed during the final lesson. This was what he meant and it was so much stronger and better. It wasn't a Eureka moment so I am not very sure that I can replicate it. But still. It is a start.
I finished most of my assignments. The challenge was to work backward and find a story with the images that I had already made. And add one or 2 extra images to it to make it complete. From the next module on, I will try to avoid this at all costs. Photography is so much easier if you already have the story in your head before you turn on the camera.
No way back!
The biggest shock and realization came when I went through my own photo archive looking for a few specific photos. Photos that I dismissed before suddenly got my attention. And vice versa: I suddenly didn't understand anymore why I picked one photo over another.
My taste in photos is changing. I notice it on $HIVE too. Photographers that I admired before got reshuffled in order of interest. And I am starting to feel a bit like a weirdo on this platform, where my images aren't necessarily pretty, but hopefully more meaningful than before.
My photographic eye is developing and it is something that cannot be undone. Looking at what just a few months of school already had as an impact makes me kind of nervous and excited for what is to come. Could school really turn me into an artist?
A regular phrase at school is "This is almost like therapy". It is almost spiritual. And that's the reason I chose this "Water to Wine" sequence as the thumbnail and photo for this blog. Change is happening. And it feels a little like magic. It is clear that it will give more flavor to what I am doing with a camera in my hand. All I need to figure out is if I like the taste of Wine for my photos.
(Sorry for this long story.... )
♥♥♥ Really happy to see the positive changes your school has brought to you, and I love the b&w assignments you have been doing!
Speaking of the travel shots, I was also bored to death a few years ago by my snapshots and even wanted to change my username here (to remove the "itchyfeet":D).
It's always fun to read your inspiring stories... I believe you can also be a great educator in the future, aside from the multimedia artist we talked about. :)
This is so great to read. It was such a big step to go back to school and push yourself like this to learn. Yay for Venice! I am so glad that you have shared your assignments throughout the class it has helped me think more about my photography too. I am excited for you to keep developing your style, which as you have been showing your work I have come to realize more and more is us showing our interests and personality in our pictures. While you might have felt out of place that can also make you really stand out!
i had the autopilot post opened for few days as i wanted to write a comment but hectic week. really liked those and you can see that you started to think different about the photos.
the problem with great photos and especially of nature is that most don't think about what is needed to make them. i had a running joke with my friend while in Switzerland. I was there to do some photos for him for his fitness job and we visited some unbelievably beautiful places. And every time he asked me how the photo looks my answer was "not spectacular" :) photos were ok, i was happy with them, but for a nature photo to be spectacular you can't just show up at a nice place at noon and take the best photo ever :)
i do think that i have a problem of that i learned technical things, never really gone deep enough into art of it.
but then latest biggest compliment for me was when few people wrote and asked me did i recorded some video as they would like to see the atmosphere because on photos it looked like it was great :D so i probably did something right.
Thank you! You have been following me along this whole journey, from me getting my first serious camera and trying to compete with the original Photostars until now. It means a lot that you are seeing what I feel that is changing!!
And now that you mention that "not spectacular" part... That was a major trigger for me to start studying. I was always disappointed that I wasn't able to transfer the wow-effect a view/building/landscape had on me onto 2d.
When people ask you about your work, that is amazing! And you have been loaded with work recently...so yeah. You must be doing stuff right! When I returned back on the platform after my hiatus, I noticed that you had made massive steps in your photography. Keep going!
Great post! Photography is a pretty nice and awesome subject. I can totally relate to your change in taste. But that's something awesome. The best is when you are able to recall emotions and memories of the time of the shot. I love this time freezing effect.
This only works when I am pumped with emotions when I shoot. It will only get better I guess ;) Thank you for commenting!
Keep it up. Emotions are sometimes a good way to be productiv :)
followed :)