Just a short rant in the middle of the night. I can’t sleep so why not writing the thoughts that bothers me?
Okay, it’s been days since I last published a post on my internet space. I just don’t feel like writing anything. I have a lot of ideas that I already took notes of just in case I want to write, but I don’t feel anything.
This image is AI generated using Bing AI. Prompt: a college guy not wearing a uniform in his room trying to study while doing a freelance writing work and feel tired
I always feel guilty for not writing — it started to become a habit, but now, I have missed days without writing anything.
I don’t know if this guilt comes from my own personal expectations or the pressure of maintaining an audience, but either way, it bothers me.
I am aware of being unproductive at work (yes, I treat writing as my job and hobby), but despite that, I still choose to rest.
I think of different alternatives to become productive. I walk outside, I read and consume content, and I socialize to find inspiration, but still, no action was taken.
I even thought of starting my personal brand on the internet — even though I already started this years ago, I don’t feel that I have succeeded. I still earn a little, and I feel that writing will never be on my side.
I recently found out that my [virtual] friends have jobs now as writers, and I can’t stop thinking and comparing myself to them.
One of them is also a student like me, so I can’t use that as an excuse to justify myself for not being successful.
Also, it’s been more than a month since classes started — as usual, I am busy. We have quizzes every week that serve as our pre-board exams, and I always feel exhausted because I have to review in advance just to pass them. Believe me, they are difficult considering the short time for review.
Then, I was also thinking about how I can expand my personal brand and online presence on the internet, but just thinking about it is already tiring — and I think that is one of the reasons why I haven’t started yet.
Not to mention, there are a lot of expenses coming up because of our thesis, so I have to work hard while juggling my studies.
There are a lot of things to consider when you are not financially privileged. I envy those people who were born rich and have generational wealth — I am satisfied without the latter.
The only thing I want is just to study normally like what a real student should be doing, and not studying while working.
I want to have money, and that is why I try to work hard on my own so I won’t be a burden to my parents. I know that they are also tired.
I just do what I need to do. I only have one semester left to finish, pass, graduate, and get that degree.
So yeah, this is just a short rant — I don’t think I am losing my interest in writing. Maybe I am just burnt out because of the past few days. Maybe I am just thinking a lot of things. I am so busy, and I just want to rest sometimes.
I think it's really prioritizing what you need to do. You can think of a lot of things you want to do but may not be as important as you make it out to be. Sure, making money is great on the sidelines, can't be wrong about that and one avenue is through writing, but don't confuse your passion for writing as money making because you can still write for no compensation and enjoy the task. It sounds like you write for money rather than writing for the sake of enjoying the writing process. If there was some other task that was more easy to do and pays well, would you honestly say you'll be spending more time worrying about not writing anything?
Your priority right now is being a student and while lessening the financial burdens during study for your folks is noble, it's not the primary objective. I got my primary job as a doctor, I enjoy shitposting more than my actual job but practically speaking, shitposting doesn't put food on the table and isn't a priority. That's my answer on what I should be bothered about instead of an online presence where my "brand" can only stick for 3 seconds and lost into the void of competing distractions.
Thanks, adam. I still enjoy writing not only because of the "rewards", I like the way how I can monetize my work while documenting my life. Yeah, I prioritize school over everything right now, and earning money is also a must for me to buy things that I want. Good thing is, writing (somehow) does it for me.
Most of the time, my posts on Hive is just a "hobby" post, I do not fully rely on it as my main income. I think I am still finding myself on what is working to me and what is not haha. I feel lost.
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I have gone years without writing before. So I kind of get where you're coming from. Hang in there. Think of your goals. What kind of job do you want to get once you graduate? Pretend like you already have that job and write articles that are related to it.
I know you said you wished you could just be a student and not have to work, but I feel like if you can work in the field while you're in school, you set yourself up for success on multiple fronts. First, school will become more effective as you'll be able to relate concepts you learn to your actual experience with the agency. Second, when you graduate, you'll have relevant experience in your field which will set you apart from your student peers.
Thank you for this, man! I'm actually taking engineering so maybe I should start writing about it. I don't know. I feel lost haha.
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Ooh engineering is a good one. There are lots of concepts to dive into there. @jarvie was mentioning about having Hive be a repository of useful information that people would turn to for high quality sources. You could teach us what you learn. I'm thinking of a title like "The first law of thermodynamics, a student's perspective" or something along those lines. Engineering is a really interesting field.
Thanks for the topcomment nomination!
Yeah i would love to see Hive become a place where people share the things they became an expert in... and if you're not a huge expert in a thing... think about using deep ai research to really dive into a subject and think about how to teach us something in a new sophisticated way.
More or less think about making articles that would be loved and adored by entire large communities outside of Hive... where you could post that thing somewhere else online and they'd come running to hive?
Have we posted enough stuff on Hive that the new ai systems of the future are going to care to look at Hive as a valuable source of content to reference??
Thanks man, I think I really need this. I will do my best to try this one.
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Find something you can make from free scrap around you.
Even if there is no market, you will feel better for having made something unique.
Cool advice. I haven't tried this one before, maybe it will be a fun hobby.