Why is it difficult to answer the question "What are you looking for in a woman?" One of my classmates asked me that question, and I was stunned. I didn't know what to answer. It also got me thinking about what I am really looking for in a partner. Do I have standards? Am I looking for something simple or more complex? I laughed and joked with her, saying the simplest way possible to address the question, "I still don't know."
Maybe the reason it becomes hard to answer is that there is no right or wrong answer. When you ask someone the same question, do you believe that what comes first in their mind is the right answer? I don't think so. If it's just about physical qualifications or appearance, most people will choose the one they find pleasing, and there's nothing wrong with that. The answer is very easy. Sometimes, setting standards is somehow laughed and joked about by others, so most of us remain silent about what we are really looking for. We just keep it to ourselves.
I'm afraid to set standards because I know my limits and capabilities. If people ask what I generally like, I shut my mouth. I agree when people set their standard as a woman looking for a handsome man or a successful man. But for men, standards are crucial to think about, especially for those like me who look for the future where there will be no regrets. So I am careful about the one I will be looking after. It's not a fairy tale anymore. I've seen tons of stories about that but ending as horror.
When I was young, I knew what I was looking for. As far as I knew, that was a long time ago. Men like me who were raised with good care by their mother often dream of having the same partner as their mother - someone who cooks, takes care of the home, and, most importantly, cares for us. Later, I understood why others set that kind of standard. It's because we want our future child to have the same care we received when we were young.
I've also heard comments about "wife material" and "trophy wife." Is there really something like this? Part of me doesn't believe it, but maybe there is. What I know is that most men dream not for themselves but for their children to be raised and loved more. That's the real talk.
Not everyone might agree with me, but sometimes setting standards is a trial and error process. We first set our expectations and think it's the best one. Yet, the reality might punch us that it's not what we've been looking for. So, we set another standard, thinking it will be the best for us. It's sad, but I know some people have gone through this. It motivates me to think about the future regrets if ever I set the wrong standard or if I don't make a standard for myself.
At the end of the day, the question "What are you looking for in a woman?" still remains the hardest question to comprehend. Why? I still don't know the answer. But what I do know is that it's important to set our own standards and to be true to ourselves about what we really want in a partner. It's not about pleasing others, but it's about finding someone who will complement us and make us happy.
Setting standards when they want something is for people with a goal and getting that something would be beneficial pursuing that goal.
is your goal to have a happy family? you get a loving partner.
is your goal to be rich? you get a rich partner.
is your goal to be someone everyone looks up to? a hero? you get a supportive partner.
I don't have goals anymore... what I have left is responsibility.
what I am looking for in a partner is to give me motivation to live.
To add chapters to the book I call my life.
Her Happiness would be my happiness, sounds nice right? but I don't think so, I think of it as a parasitic relationship as opposed to mutualism. --maybe just my thoughts.
but even if she doesn't come, that's okay.
The story will just end and there will be no more sequels.
Tapos yung destined for you talaga has a penis.
or mag ampon na lang as a single parent.
wala bang sugar baby sa options?
😏
Standards are definitely okay Eu, but knowing what your standards are important in setting things straight from the start.
Your standards are your non-negotiables per se, I also got confused by the standards and preferences. Back in the dating times, my standards which are preferences naman talaga ay
Sometimes two out of three are hitting the mark for a date and a relationship, sometimes one lang kinda desperate to be in that ship status.
But as I grow old with having failed relationships I learned the true value of standards and setting those characteristics apart from other people and now I ended up to what I want in life a wife that can understand my craziness of mine and is able to tolerate the fiasco and chaos of my world.
Trophy wife and wife material who set the rules for this every one of us have different ideas of what is an ideal wife their ideal wife will be different than yours so yeah okay lang na mag set ka ng standards into dating it is your future parin naman and you hold the key to starting a new one if you will allow yourself to be in the future.
Bakit dapat mahaba ang buhok?
Kasi I already foresee myself being bald in the next few years. At the very least may sasagot na kagad sa pangpa wig ko incase a need arise.
It's interesting to hear perspective from men. It's definitely okay for anyone to have standard and In my opinion, it is important to because if you plan on settling down, you can't just settling down with anyone. Like Tp said, preference is something negotiable. For me, loyalty and trust matter. If these two aren't there then I'd rather be alone 😄. The rest are really preferences. It's okay taking time to understand yourself and eventually set standards. I had some awful relationships that taught me what I really wanted, not the best way to learn and experience but it's a possibility, learning from mistakes 😅