I'm angry for you at such behavior. I've also witnessed similar acts a few times. Just like a pack of hyena's fighting over scraps. Having had lot's of experience on both sides of the trauma work, I can say a few good EMDR sessions with a good therapist (there are lamers out there) can work wonders to unlock some of that from your brain and body. Give a bit of time, and when you're ready, check it out. I carried several of mine around for decades, not even aware of how it was affecting me, and thinking there was no fix for what I was aware of. I was amazed of what came out the other side, truly life altering in a positive way for me. Best wishes for you Anna. Above all else, take care of yourself.
Thanks K, I will check it out. I'm in the state of laughter now. I can only laugh about all the absurdities that unfolded after calling the ER. See, it is not only those snippets that you could read so far, it is also drama from my fams side that is distressing. We just could tell them that Maik passed away for now, nothing else.
Bigger pic: My mom got cancer last year, both parents Corona in between, then last x-mas they split up after 35 years and my dad got kicked out and lately my mom wasn't in good shape. I had enough to do with my life and that of my crumbling fam before Maik decided to check out and watch that movie from above.
So yah....everything literally seems to fall apart but I can laugh about it at the moment. We have a German word for it, Galgenhumor - gallows humor.
I consider myself a decent, kind person and I know my flaws and faults but also my place, but this shit won't break me. It does in a way but not as a person. That I write about my personal stuff now is a huge step for me already and sth good, cause usually I disappear when things get serious and deal with them in real life, not bothering the online world with it. But my pov changed as I now see it as telling my story, nothing else.