Thanks for sharing, @adamada.
trying to fight the boredom of living
I know what I am now and will have to accept that haha pero fighting the boredom of living is something I haven't thought about kasi gave up before even trying ehe. HAHAHAHHA
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I think I've gone through some similar process except the way I handled these kinds of things is more on a methodical approach to overcoming the shadow. It's not enough that you give yourself a pep talk but more along the lines of bearing the accountability of self sabotage and recognizing the downward spiral. I don't have a good support system to bring myself out of the unproductive rut. So what I did was doing an inventory of my own resources and worked on the idea that no one else can save me but myself. There are some parts of the text that I don't empathize with here but it's not my experience so I'll just leave it at that.