My nephew, who’s 19, has spent his gap year working and traveling. He's about to start a degree in environmental studies, but he’s frustrated—he doesn’t really want to go to uni. Like many young people, he’s worried he’ll dislike the program and end up with a large debt if he has to change courses. He’d rather “just go to Canada or something.” If he could start working as a park ranger right now, he would.
“Who knows? It might be fun,” I said, trying to be an encouraging aunt. “At the very least, you’ll meet like-minded people and make new friends.”
He gave a classic Aussie "yeah nah" and shook his head. “No one meets people at uni anymore,” he said. His friends who have already started university mostly study online and work part-time, or they’re older—around 26—and just come in for class and then head back to work. It’s not the social hub it used to be.
This disconnect is part of a larger shift, like what @tarazkp discussed last week about the young man who took his life after discovering his love interest was AI. In a world where our social structures—universities, churches, even the local pub and live music venues—are fading, where do we meet real people to explore relationships and learn about ourselves?
Even the festivals we used to go to aren't as common, and they're hugely expensive. A lot of young people are so incredibly jealous of the live music scene we used to have.
Today, even learning a language is marketed with AI avatars, not real teachers. AI is easier—no confrontation, no risk. But at what cost?
Young people tell us they struggle to meet people face-to-face. When they ask how we met our partners, they seem wistful, saying they don’t know how to talk to strangers. Lockdowns stole the years they should’ve spent socializing, and now, they feel the effects. Screens make it easy to hide behind filters, pause to craft a reply, or pretend to be busy. In-person, making eye contact and being vulnerable is harder. Even parents’ concerns about safety mean kids aren’t getting opportunities to grow and learn through real-world experience.
I surf with younger women who mention how tough it is to meet guys face-to-face. Many of them admit they’re more comfortable texting or commenting on Instagram than holding a real conversation. Some young people don’t go out like we used to in the ‘90s; they’re focused on building careers and saving for homes, so meeting people organically is rare. When I told a friend about meeting my partner at a party, she sighed, “Yeah nah, that doesn’t really happen anymore.”
This isn’t just a generational shift—it’s a cultural one. Even twenty years ago, meeting people face-to-face was the norm. Now, even relationship advice on TikTok can create unrealistic expectations, leaving people feeling they can’t measure up.
This weekend, I learned the term phubbing—ignoring the person next to you in favor of your phone. I’m guilty of it myself, and I catch myself annoyed when my partner does it, too. We remember how things used to be, so we set phone-free boundaries—yet those phones keep sneaking back.
Technology has blurred the lines between real and artificial connections. Podcasts, YouTube voices, even radio hosts might not be real people anymore—just convincing AI. Without real-life interactions to compare, how would we know? And do we even care when screens have raised and comforted us?
Yet, the kids tell us they feel the impact. Despite AI’s ever-growing presence, they would still choose real-life relationships if they could find them.
All of the images here at my own, from various outdoor parties.
#
With Love,
Are you on HIVE yet? Earn for writing! Referral link for FREE account here
I somewhat resonate with this, but for different reasons. I'm a little older so I already knew how to socialize when everything locked down haha. Actually, by that time, I was already well into my own self imposed isolation. Anyways...
For me, at least, I have no problem talking to strangers and I find it fun actually. I can play with the situation and be whimsical. The problem is...where do I find pleasant strangers?
The "phubbing" phenomena is very real. I hate it. Something that keeps happening to me now is that why everyone is doing that I'm trying to talk, socialize, and express myself except the people are literally shutting me up. They accuse me of having too much or too high or too strong of an energy. No, you're just boring. Also I can't help that when I'm getting excited about a topic I'm talking about, my volume starts to increase. It can't be that bad, can it? Well, apparently it is because people shush me or tell me to "chill".
I really hate that because they are literally trying to dampen my spirits.
Meanwhile I'm actually phubbing the phone itself when I'm around real people. I forget I have a phone number or any online presence. Sorry I didn't comment on your new profile picture; I was talking to people in person.
Or at least trying to
I've had the most luck meeting new people at places of work. Oh you don't like me? That's ok because we're forced to spend 8hrs together anyways.
That's how I met a girl that I actually ended up spending a significant chunk of my short life with. But lately I've just been working with a demographic that is much older than me.
Well, I would NEVER tell you to shut up. You can even talk to me about gnomes.
I resonate so hard with this comment as I reckon people find me too intense too. It took a long time for me to realize I was just kickass and it was them who had the problem.
I tend to talk a lot to strangers too. It's why I like surfing - there's an instant social life even with strangers whilst waiting for a wave. And then I go home and be on my own or with Jamie and that's how I like it.
Fucking phones. Even my son does it. I get annoyed at him and he's like 'you can't tell me what to do' and I stare him out and say yes I can, it's my house and I'm your mother, put your phone down. It's actually the only time we clash!!!!
Lucky her!
We were both very lucky 💚
But I burned that bridge
So true. It is one reason for the fertility collapse. People aren't meeting and forming relationships.
The online world is full of fakery.
Hive is rare because it has real people mostly being real and at HiveFest you get to meet in person.
I also speak to a lot of young people who say they can't afford kids! Or that the world is fucked, so why bring kids into it. Or they're resisting biological and peer and parental pressure as they know that kids do not actually mean happiness.
Hive IS rare..m but you know in seven years I've never met another Hiver face to 👀 face??
What!!! You never met any of the Aussie team? Aren't there any nearby you?
I wished we'd caught up when you were back here. So near 😖
I'm afraid, I'm part of the young people you are referring to😂. The idea of staring into someone's face, finding a middle ground we can converse about, avoiding awkward silences, dancing to loud music, all seems like a chore. I could as well be in bed, scrolling TikTok at that moment. I'm just 18 but this socializing thing seems very hard. If I continue with this way of life, I'll probably end up with the arranged marriage trope😂.
Oh honey you gotta do the discomfort. You don't grow otherwise. It's a risk reward equation - the more you do it the easier it gets. Get out there!
you paint a compelling case. i never considered the absence of social "training wheel time" the corona time forced young people to go through.
i mean meeting people was already tough, always has been, but now there seems to be this cozy convenient gateway so we do 't have to face our fears and conquer approach anxiety altogether.
the plan has become so obvious, your summary is chilling. but not all young people will follow it. they have access to too much information. there will always be those that see through it. like we have in our generation of robocops
blessings river!
Oh yes there's a ton of kids going vintage and eschewing tech in favour of authentic, real, analogue experiences. I trust them to be amazing. Well, ten percent of them anyway.
your optimism is like a warm shower after a rainy day.
i agree, they come cosmically prepped to earth these days. they got to be to withstand the onslaughts on spiritual battlefield earth.
I always do see the bright side, or try to. I don't want to be the one who is like 'the kids of today'... There's so many exceptions!
Yes, it's a real change, but the entire world changed so much since my youth, I could play freely in the entire neighborhood, my kids didn't, I could play in the snow and skate on ice almost every winter, my kids first skated on ice outside when they were 7...
I don't like personal contact very much, it's just how I am so I'm ok with these changes you mentioned 😆and yes for young people it's different, but I think it's from all ages the world is changing isn't it? for the good OR the bad...
I think we get better with our own company as we get older. I do feel sorry for the kids today though. It was just a different world for us.
Was hoping there'd be an answer somewhere in this to the title question. Feeling misled xD I think it's a matter of openness on both parts? Maybe? I know many girls my age who are abhorred by the idea of a guy chatting them up or asking for their phone number IRL. What a creep! It doesn't go very far explaining that was the norm only a brief while ago. So I think this impacts guys - why approach a woman IRL if you're unlikely to be successful, risk in-person rejection and be labeled a "creep" when you could hide behind a screen, instead?
Us women contribute to it too, burying our heads in our phones and giving cold shoulders to any man who'll meet our eye. So if we tone that down and guys maybe work up a bit of courage...maybe... Hey, one's gotta hold out hope. :D I do see (like you mentioned here) more and more young people losing hope in the apps, so maybe a turn-around is coming?
Once a guy left a phone number on a post it note stuck to a water bottle by my front tyre at the beach. I was flattered (though married) as I was in the water in shorts and a rash vest not feeling sexy haha. Thank God I never saw him again though, awkward!
Back in the old days I didn't have a phone to hide behind.. we had books at best.
I don't have answers - I'm old and don't have a clue 😂😂😂😂
I've been reading the news and also checking up on Gen Z youtuber who discuss lonely epidemic. I mean it's getting real for a lot of us. These days we often meet online through common interests and meeting face to face rarely happens. But I also see the rise of offline communities gathering that could be the answer to these problems. Think of book club, running club, gym etc- that's how people my age talk to each and meet 🤣
I've met people via our gardening group on Facebook which has real life meets, or used to, so yes, offline/online community connections for sure. I guess they have to find a way to these communities.
Gonna upset the narrative a bit but I was made for the internet. Internet and social media greatly widened my horizons and enabled me to find more people that I can relate to. I never found many of these people within my social circle when I was younger and so many of them emigrated, left town or died. I've always been the odd one out as an autistic female: simply not wired like most others and unable to socialise easily, my thought processes are much too out-there for most people and it's hard not to be bored. The people that you find online that will become real do just that in time and then well, the phone and whatsapp videocalls are our lifeline
You're a bit older than today's gen though. And we entered the internet when it wasnt as crazy as now I reckon.
Hey I'm not autistic but I totally relate to this. Probs why we are on Hive!
Congratulations @riverflows! You have completed the following achievement on the Hive blockchain And have been rewarded with New badge(s)
Your next target is to reach 690000 upvotes.
You can view your badges on your board and compare yourself to others in the Ranking
If you no longer want to receive notifications, reply to this comment with the word
STOPCheck out our last posts:
Can't relate to this. My granddaughter started college in '22 and made friends right away. She has a group that she hangs out with, and that group is growing. They have taken vacations together and they have visited her here (several states away).
This year she is attending college (one semester) in Europe and once again made friends immediately. I get concerned because she calls all these new meets 'friends'...can one have friends so quickly?
So, I guess it's not the same for everyone. She has friends at home. Friends at college and friends in Europe. I just hope it keeps up for the rest of her life.
I totally agree it's not the same for everyone! I never meant the post to suggest it was. That's awesome she is so good at meeting friends - she clearly doesn't need Tik Tok!
😇
Not like her grandmother at all :) I am relieved about that
As a quasi-forty-year-old dude, it's weird to be caught amidst this shift... I mean, until now, 2/3 of my life has passed without internet and social medias; it'll eventually turn around as I get older, but the worst feeling is knowing how cooler life was before internet and knowing it won't go back to that state is kinda disheartening-- not saying internet is bad, just saying internet is taking the best out of us (humans) in terms of social interactions.
So, answering to your question: How Does Anyone Meet Anyone These Days?
I have no fucking idea!
We used to meet ppl anywhere, parties, free festivals, through friends of friends of friends. One of my best friends is one of those we meet through others at a drunken night out.
That was obvious. It gives me shivers when my son talks asks me questions about the 80s or 90s as if it were ancient history. I told him if he wants to be more 90s the first thing his has to do is take the screen away from his face.
!LUV
Omg the amount of times some community leaders has asked me to source my images 🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️ though for six years I've been doing just that or using original makes me HAVE to stare obvious.
Surrrrreeee, Dad! 😂
!PIZZA
The library is still an option. My D&D games are popular with the 15-25 crowd who don't really have any other social activities outside school and work. We have to be the ones building the alternatives now. !PIZZA
I have started getting library books again. Was surprised to find actual people there!