This is definitely a tricky scenario I think! In many ways it is a scenario that has many factors involved. Some kids respond better when they are asked to do something and told of the consequences. Other kids need the consequences before what was asked is achieved. I think our son is the latter but hopefully that doesn't stay forever! I myself am more of a practice person than a theory. I think our son is the same way as well.
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You are right, it is a complicated scenario, that is why it is vital that we as parents are able to detect the best way for our children to learn from an early age, provide them with the tools to do so and above all, support them in the process. In the end, it will be their abilities that will facilitate the strategies that best apply to their learning process.
!ENGAGE 20
ENGAGEtokens.Yes. I agree with you. It's not always that simple. I think many educated nd progressive thinking parents also understand the principle explained in the article but to really make it work to every children is not easy.
Each child is different. For my daughter it always end up worse if I take it away alltogether.
It is better if I treat it like a negotiation with an adult. Both of us must give in a little, otherwise the resistance is even bigger and I'd end up screaming probably.
The problem is just that sometimes we don't have abundance of time to negotiate because we're in a hurry for something else.