Last week, I had a refreshing conversation with a girl, two years older than me. Having been unschooled for such a large part of my teenage years, I know relatively few people my own age. That's not to say I don't know people, just that their age range is larger, which is great. You shouldn't be forced to associate with people simply because you're of a similar age and social background, which is basically what school forces you to.
So, I was talking to this girl I'd just met and she asked me what college I was attending.
'I'm not.'
'Oh, you're still in high school?'
'Nope, I'm just not at college.'
'Oh, and where are you planning to go?'
'I'm not. I'm not going to any college.'
'How cool!'
She seemed genuinely impressed and it felt good, not because I like to show off, but because it's so rare to meet someone who thinks it's a good idea. She asked me again if I didn't have anywhere I'd like to go and I said no.
'Good, I was going to tell you not to go. It'd ruin your life.'
It's so strange to have it confirmed. It's something I've always assumed, based on what I see around me, but you know, you can't actually be sure of things. She told me she's attending a mathematics college she dislikes and didn't really seem excited about her prospects, which was upsetting, since she seemed like a really nice girl.
And it was nice, I won't deny it, because you kinda feel like an outsider when everyone is doing this thing, which you're not. One thing that I've noticed since I started unschooling is that the system has a mighty strong grasp on the way we think. And I keep being surprised at this feeling of guilt, you know, for not following the beaten path, for not subjecting myself to the same misery my peers were subjected to. I know it doesn't make any sense and that it shouldn't matter, but it does. Or at least, it did. Now, I don't care so much. I do sometimes get a strange feeling, a fear of the unknown. What will happen if I really don't do this? 'Cause at this point, there's still this voice in the back of my head going 'it's not too late', which is dumb, because it never is, really.
But I guess that's normal, to have this fear in you, not knowing what will happen next. Because, well, you don't know. And the thing is that even if I did go to college now, I wouldn't know what would happen.
Maybe this seems like exaggeration to you, maybe college isn't that important where you are, but here, it is. Most kids are at college, at this age. But they don't know either. They have no clue what will happen with their lives. They say that a degree guarantees a job, but does it, really? How do you know? I know plenty of people with a degree (hell, some with multiple degrees) who are struggling to make ends meet.
I'm sorry, but that doesn't sound that appealing to me. I mean if that's what I'm missing out on by not going to college and keeping 3 (or 5, or 6) years of my youth, I'm good. Having a degree these days means very little. And what is strange to me is that most people don't see that.
Not just conservative parents or whatever, but I run into people all the time who kinda agree to this point and that sure, I'm right about not going to college. Buuuut...
Maybe I still should. You know, to get the paper, to have a safety net. Seriously, do you know how often, when talking to someone about it, I get the 'yeah, you're totally right, but maybe you should go anyway' response?
And besides, what happened to doing what you love? What happened to passion? At this point in my life, I've never been more in love with writing, with creating. Worlds, stories. It's this beautiful, addictive thing that's completely free and just there for the taking. Nobody's encouraged to do what they want, to follow their dreams. Because guess what, nobody wants you to follow your dreams.
For a long time, I did not understand this quote, I thought it was pretentious. But now I do. When you create (anything, stories, paintings, movies), you become a god. You have the power to draw up anything, to give birth to entire universes. Makes sense why the state wouldn't want legions of gods just doing their own thing and leaving the beaten path, huh?
But maybe you should. I'm not saying 'leave college'. You know, do what works for you. But also try to find that bit in you who makes stuff. The birther, the giver of life, the creator in you, because he/she has more power than that silly piece of paper they give you at school ever will.
And it's an important power, it's the strength you need to survive.
The thing I'm just beginning to grasp is that you can do anything. I can do anything. And it seems to me that there's so much lost potential out there, because so many ignore that. Because when you think about it, it's this really scary thing. Because you can always take the safe road and not do it, whatever it is you want to do, and think how cool you are and how smart and how talented, but you're too afraid to actually do it, because, who knows, it might turn out you're not. And I get that. Totally. It's how I feel. And right now, I'm in awe at the guts it takes to do it. And I think about all these people who are out there, creating and doing what they're doing, what they love, and how brave that is. And what makes it even more amazing is that I can do that.
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don't feel too bad about not following the crowd.
Oh, I don't. It's just sometimes you feel lost in the woods and get scared of it. Most of the time though, I know it's a good thing ;)
I grew up on the high plains of Texas.
not a tree in sight.
As someone who has made the decision for my children to unschool, I'm so happy to read this. Yes follow your dreams and what makes you happy. I look forward to reading more of your posts and see what you get up to on the wonderful journey of life. :)
Ah, I must say that's an excellent decision! I had to put up with years of misery at school before becoming an unschooler and thus far, I don't see the horrible consequences those conservative monkeys warn against ;)
Do what makes you happy. Not anyone else. Because in the end, it is your life.
Thank you! That's true. If only more people knew that..:D
There was a time when a college education was important, but that was quite some time ago. (When I was in college. Long ago.) There are so many opportunities today that did not exist 40 years ago, and which do not require a college degree. None of my (home-schooled, incidentally) children have attended a 4-year college. One earned a degree from a community college, one took training to become a massage therapist, and one took an even shorter training period to become a phlebotomist. I do think it is important to find a way to support oneself financially, which may mean a slight detour on the way to following one's heart and dreams, but needn't sidetrack them permanently.
Yes, I agree, but people seem to be so out of ideas. As if the only jobs that could provide a decent income are the same as twenty years ago...They're not. That's the truly great thing that a lot of kids seem to forget. Or are forced to forget, because a lot of these kids are pressured to get a degree by their parents.
You're right, there's so much opportunity and it's both scary and exciting precisely because it wasn't here before.
Thank you :)
Do it, and do it now, follow your heart before you have a world of regret for not doing it. I started my own company and can promise you even something like that is not hard but there is no road map for it, because it is not desirable to have people thinking for themselves. My wife was the General Manager of a large hotel chain but left for personal reasons and she didn't even finish high school. She also gets job offers monthly for similar positions without even applying. But you are right, the pretense of a safety net is the ammunition used to drive you to student debt, but that net truely doesn't exist. I have worked the shittiest jobs with highly educated people who just simply could not find work with that piece of paper.
I do hold a different opinion about trades though.
I hope you follow your heart while you are young and it is easy to do so! The world is yours for the taking.
Thank you for the read.
That is so so true. Sadly. And the worst part is that a lot of people seem to not care about that, you know? They just go along with whatever they're told. To do, to think..
Thank you so much. I am trying to do that. I keep telling myself that the time is now, there won't be a better time than this moment, so..;)
I agree with you totally, i never met the firs quote you put ther but i agree with it, also with the first, education do not mean intelligence and have a degree do not give you always a good job, having skills maybe do it, but you can improve them also without school. Here in Italy a degree is not much useful but you need it to join most of the jobs but it's kind of wasted time, our school system is not so useful and we learn poor things if you want to have a good cukture you still need to find it by yourself. So i understand perfectlyl what you say, also life must be not a hell of bills and forced job we must live it, our dreams and try to work with what we love, try to create a job that we love.
Thank you, Noemi <3 Exactly! We have the same situation here, in Romania. And I think it's the same pretty much everywhere you go...I was lucky to find the first quote while I was writing this and the last one is by a very famous Romanian sculptor, so I've run into it quite a lot..:D
That's the problem - the degree means so little, yet nobody does anything to change the way things are, to eliminate the need for this stupid piece of paper. Because why would they? It's perfectly convenient to have young people waste their lives in school.
Yes, yes, yes <3 This is so true.
As you said the real issue here is the reason behind people going to college, not so much college education itself.
The main thing is for people to have some idea about what they want to do with their life.
By that I mean that they need to have a grasp about what keeps them interested and motivated in life. A job and money should be put on the back burner for a time while making this kind of decision.
Now college can be a fantastic way to get to learn the subjects that are of interest to us.
For example there are many students of physics who dream of understanding the mathematical laws of nature and maybe one day work for prestigious organisations like CERN or ESA. These jobs usually don't pay that well but that's not why many study this subject.
The other thing about college is that you get to meet other people with similar interests which can be really enriching.
But of course college is not for everybody and many people prefer to acquire less academic, more practical skills which is is as valuable in society as honorary degrees.
Maybe the issue lies more with 2nd level education and the failure to guide students in the direction that suits them best?
Of course it's never too late to go to college if one wants it but it is often the case that the opportunity lies at a young age because after that family life makes this endeavor much much harder.
Exactly. For example, here in Romania, everyone's going to Med school. If you ask any high school kid (or most of them,anyway), that's where they're going to go and it's not so much that they want to be of help, to be healers, but because of peer pressure. And because it's a job their parents can be proud of, which really is a silly reason, isn't it?
I see this in two of my friends, both at med school, one who actually wanted to go there and the other who just sot of went along with what everyone else was doing. The first one is doing well, succeeding, happy and so on and the other is getting more lost by the day and it's heartbreaking to see this confusion, to see her not knowing what she'd like to do with her life..
I agree there are benefits to going to college. To tell you the truth, one of the only reasons I thought of going was meeting people, but then I decided against it.
thank you!
Wow. Very well said. Most of the great minds never attended college. Some of them never even completed grade school. Einstein was one of these great minds. His teachers said he would never amount to anything. I love the quote in the jpg. I had to save it. That is one I have never heard but I love it. Thank you for this amazing article/blog. You just gained yourself a new follower. Its great to find like minded people.
Thank you!
I was actually thinking about that a while back, even wrote a post about it, about the lies we kinda try to tell ourselves, like Einstein never went to college and Bill Gates dropped out and all that. The thing is, nothing's guaranteed. Not going, you might fail. But you might fail by going, so...nothing's certain. But you've got a fighting shot, in both scenarios, and that's good enough.
Not sure which quote you mean...the first one I had the good luck of finding just as I was writing the post and the last one is by Brancusi, who was a famous Romanian sculptor and it's quite popular here in Ro :D
Thank you :) I'm very happy you liked it.
I meant Brancusi. You should read "rich dad poor dad", its a great book. Its written by an extremely intelligent, yet uneducated man. I don't normally read but that book taught me a lot.
I think the question of college is not a simple one, depending on what you plan to study is going to tell you if it would be worth it or not. (that and of course the current job market) but there are definitely ways to make money without going the traditional college route
Hmm I agree with this, there are some professions for which it's better to go to college, but a lot for which it's not. and even for those, a lot of the kids who do go to that specific college end up there because of peer pressure, not desire, which is a shame..
right. peer pressure or outright misinformation. "oh college degrees help people make more money" yah if they can get hired.....the country does not need 100,000 people with degrees in public free bleeding arts....
chemical engineer? hell yes going to make money
the other thing is trade schools, they are looked down on but I'll tell you what no matter how much money you have you will certainly need a roofer at some point in your life if you want to stay dry when it rains etc
As someone who has made the decision for my children to unschool, I'm so happy to read this. Yes follow your dreams and what makes you happy. I look forward to reading more of your posts and see what you get up to on the wonderful journey of life. :)
Schools makes life miserable,i am a victim
I passed out at polytechnic Two years ago and still yet to collect results. I'm regretting why did I even go to school instead using the time for something else..
School is just a place where we enlighten by meeting different people with different orientations and gain one or two experiences
Yes, it's worth going for the people, but the thing is you can meet awesome people outside of school also, so...:D
Well, I can't say that I agree with the ideas that going to school will ruin your life or that it's not important, or that a college education is meaningless. But I also wouldn't ever tell someone that they have to go, particularly if they don't know what they want to do. As for college ruining your life or being useless for your eventual path, I don't see higher education as being something that HAS to be vocational. Personally, I believe that liberal arts degrees are undervalued (culturally, I mean, not monetarily), and perfect for students who have creative or multitalented minds but don't have a clear idea of a strict career path.
My friends are probably about 50/50 in either having gone to college or not. I can't say I know a single person who went to college who regrets getting an education (I can think of one who wishes he went to community college for his first two years). I do have a bunch of friends who are now hitting their 30s, didn't go to college, have been working minimum wage or close to minimum wage jobs since high school, and regret it. I also have a couple of friends with college degrees who have never figured out where they're going, and one friend I can think of without a college degree who is super successful, but that's because she's a filmmaker, and she has worked her ass off for it. I believe she actually did go to community college for a bit, though. A couple of my friends who didn't go to college or dropped out have managed to go back and take the other path a few years later, but it takes A LOT more energy to do it.
Anyway, I equally love and respect my friends who did and didn't go to college, and I don't judge whatever people choose to do with their lives. When I was in my early and mid 20s it really felt like there was no difference in success or quality of life between my friends who went and my friends who didn't, but now that we're getting into our 30s, the accumulated effects of those two paths are starting to become really evident. I do have college educated friends who don't know what they're doing, but usually their "I don't know what I'm doing and I hate my life" jobs come with health care and enough money to start a savings account, which in turn enables them to make a career change if they do ultimately figure it out.
Anyway, I don’t want to give you the impression that I’m judging or telling you what to do. I can see that you are exceptionally talented as a writer and a beautiful soul, and I have no doubt that you will be successful at whatever you put your mind to. One funny thing is that when you get past your BA, if you choose to go for an MA or a PhD in the humanities like I did, people tell you it's a terrible idea and are really condescending about it. Like they interrogate you on what you plan to do with your life and why you're wasting your time. It's bizarre how little people respect graduate students. So it can totally go the other way in how people perceive education.
No, I think you're right. Obviously, everything's subjective. There are some people who work really well with college and are happier for it and there are some who do not. There's no universal rule either way, saying that it'll work out (or that it won't) if you do this. Sadly. Maybe things would be a bit easier if there was a magic recipe..
And yeah, maybe my point of view will change in ten years' time, very possible. I mean, I can only speak from the point of view of my own age and like you say, there doesn't seem to be much of a difference. Maybe one will become more obvious with time.
Hmmm that is so strange, I agree! I would've never thought people can be like that. I mean, to me, doing an MA or PhD seems like such hard work, you know, I'd be like wow, you already did 3 (or 4, or however many) years studying for your BA and you're going back for more? That is something! I think it takes a lot of determination and hard work, so...:)
I totally get what you are going through. I am a 17 year old homeschooler, and there have been many people that have asked me what I am going to do about college. Since I have been working with my family on a homeschool project called Saturn Music & Entertainment for two years, I have been telling people that I am not applying for college, but rather going straight into work and learning business as I work. This has been a very hard concept for people to grasp.
I also agree with you when it comes to social circles. I have a few friends that are my age (they are mostly musicians), but many of my close friends have varying age ranges. I wish that more schools offered age diverse classrooms like homeschooling.
If more people realized that college degrees are not as relevant as they used to be, and that it is better to learn from first hand experience, I think we'd live in a very different world today.
I really enjoyed your post. I started and stopped college a couple of times once due to life circumstances, and once because I decided I didn't want to become a teacher. I'm in my 30's now, and I've recently applied to an online school...and I love the idea because I know that I love to learn...and I love to be taught. It's much more than a document for me now...or an investment in my future, it's more like a hobby that might help me become a better version of myself. I love that you aren't conforming, and that you already know learning doesn't evolve around a university, and living is entirely about chasing your dreams! ❤