I've been seeing this meme floating around lately -
“Be the person you needed when you were younger.”
~ Ayesha SiddiqiI think it is excellent advice for those who have the ability to do so. It means giving your time to a child who needs you. A young child, a teenager, even other adults, everyone you come across who could benefit from your attention. These acts of kindness that move as ripples out into the world. Just put it on your 'to do' list and see what comes your way.
But this also got me to thinking about another way to “Be the person”.
I've come to believe that pretty much everyone has experienced childhood trauma of one kind or another. Some worse than others? Yes. Some more damaging than others? Yes, of course. But what is interesting to me is how what may seem a minor matter to an adult can loom large in a child's eyes. An unkind word might pierce one child's heart while another child might ignore it. Promises unkept, the loss of a beloved pet, family arguments and divisions – all sorts of possible traumas can happen when we are young but not everyone responds the same way. We just don't know what things might have lasting effects.
I went to a workshop once where the topic was 'Healing the Inner Child'. Many ideas were presented but there was one suggestion that stayed with me and I went home to try it.
The experiment was this – find a photo of yourself at around the age of four to five. Put it in your purse or wallet and when you have a quiet moment take it out and look at it. At first just look at it, your beautiful eyes, your adorable face! Try to remember how it felt to be that child, knowing nothing of what future would bring.
Then speak to that child. That child that still exists within you, as if it were a separate person. As a child that has been given into your care. What would you tell that precious creature?
I found myself looking into that child's eyes and asking who would hurt you? Who would treat you unkindly? I found deep emotions rising up and found myself apologizing for the ways I had treated her and promising to protect her. To take her out of the darkness and let her play in the sunlight. To be the person she needed.
This experiment changed me in many ways. One important way was when I consciously let her out to play I found a creativity I never knew I had! I think it made me a kinder person too. I think it put me more in tune with the 'Inner Child' of others.
I still have that photo and I still talk to her sometimes. Our conversations are much happier these days.
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You are so cute @donna-metcalfe 😍 beautiful and happy too. I don't have any picture when I was at that age with me but surely my parents have it and I remember all our photos because sometimes through the Whatsapp group, my siblings would take a screeshot and sent it to the chat group where my mommy and Bapak also the member of the group😂 then we will talked about our situation at that time or compare it with one of our nephews, nieces and children (we have 12 now).
I took a short time to do what you've suggested here, the first question that I asked to her is "are you that pretty so people will hurt you for having such a lovely eyes and well spoken?" I tried many times to take her out but I need a little more time to get her out of the comfort zone with her books and blanket. Wish me luck 😊
Thank you for sharing your experience and thoughfull post again, donna 😉 I always find it helpfull to manage my eagerness of covering the real me from the world.
Thank you! I think I was pretty cute at that age!
I'm glad you are trying this experiment!
It is a very private thing to do. And it's not a do it once and you're done kind of thing.
You might like to start with talking to her at first in a loving way. Like you would to one of your nieces or nephews, or other small child you have just met, instead of starting out with questions that might make her nervous. Make some trust between you. You are starting a relationship and it will take the time it needs to grow.
You could find that she is sad or even angry. When she is ready she will tell you how she feels and you can decide together how you want to go on from there. My little girl felt like I had abandoned her, locked her away, and she was right. Why should she trust me, just popping in after years of neglect? She wouldn't talk to me at first, but I kept opening my heart to her and loving her. And then carefully listening to what she wanted to say.
Uhmm.. actually I read her diary before😊 I knew exactly why she refuses to talk and choose a book over me😯 but I'll wait for her to talk to me too, she's not an introvert, a popular little girl who is busy with others business, that's why she looking for the abswer from the books and think about it under her furry blanket. But.. it's just a matter of time when she comes out and play with me as we used to be when we're still one and I started to abandoned her because I thought that we're in need of our times up.
That's me donna, I respect other choices and will wait till they come to me willingly, but never let any chance to show them my love and compassion gone by. We'll make it through the time. Her name is lizzie not cici😇
Wow that is a lot of progress already! I think you have exactly the right understanding of little Lizzie! It sounds like respect is important to her too. I think you will be great friends together.
Thank you donna 😊 I knew her very well, but sometimes I just let her alone. Your post remind me to her that I need to take her out today to meet our old friends from junior high school 😉
Enjoyed your thought provoking post @donna-metcalfe
Thank you!
I am so glad I chose today for coming around to visit you blog! I have been doing inner child work for several years now.
It really is amazing how much the adult of now can impact the child of yesteryear
Kind of adds a whole new dimension to the phrase "All space is here and all time is now"
I need to remember to pop in over here more often. Just to see what you are up to next. Always good to keep the headspace nudged in the right direction.
Yes! Everything is here and now and Inner Child work changes things in almost miraculous ways!
I know some healers who affirm that healing transcends time and space and all dimensions. Heal the child or heal the adult, the healing takes place for both at the same time!
I've always had trouble understanding the simultaneous nature of existence, I suppose our human senses aren't built for that? But I read a book based on the Seth material - The Education of Oversoul 7 (yes, I could wish it had a better name!) that came as close to explaining it as anything I've ever read or heard of.
Thank you for coming by!