When I arrived on Steemit in June of 2017, it seems that I was just waking up. I was coming out of a closed crystallized state of gestation and the blinders were falling away one by one.
I was experiencing a re-awakening that caused me to move and move faster. I recollected my scattered energies, I now had the clarity to see my purpose and what I needed to do to embark upon the next phase of my life’s journey. I also had returned to my center.
I was no longer in limbo I could feel a firm foundation beneath my feet and my inner core was stronger now. And suddenly all this creative energy and many downloads of information and messages begin to flow in. And I felt a deep need to tell the story of my experience with verbal abuse.
I had been writing for years, my story of what I endured in the form of poetry. As I arrived on Steemit I could see how I was supposed to present that story to the world.
It would be in the form of a book (which will be released soon).
These are some of the poetic excerpts from the book that I have shared on the Steemit Platform since I arrived here in June of 2017.
https://steemit.com/poetry/@rensoul17/poetry-trail-s-steemit-slam-1-closing-doors-original-poetry
https://steemit.com/poetry/@rensoul17/runaway-rhymes-7-entry-an-angel-just-passing-through
https://steemit.com/poetry/@rensoul17/the-paradoxal-door
https://steemit.com/poetry/@rensoul17/windows-of-my-soul
https://steemit.com/poetry/@rensoul17/space-to-breathe
I now affirm that I am Above And Beyond Being Bothered.
The Manifesto
Because sometimes we can’t kiss it and make it all better. Sometimes we have to endure a season of longsuffering where life doesn’t feel or look good. And we have to continually feel the pain, the struggle, the loneliness and the hurt of it all. Even when on the outside we don't look like we are dealing with a disease, yet on the inside the fire lingers and burns.
And sometimes we get flashbacks even though the years separate us from the attack(s) because those wounds went deep and they did not heal but were just covered over.
Because the hurt was not given the needed attention; in the innermost parts of us it transformed into a life of its own, becoming something that we never intended to give birth to, yet silently and hidden it festered.
While we could only afford to give energy and attention to the present moment and all that life in that moment was demanding and screaming for us to do. We had to move on in life or get left behind. And many women go through life HIDDEN in plain sight. And so many of those around us every day don’t truly know us or see us. They only see the Mask we wear.
Because healing was not allowed those hidden things rise to the surface of our lives often being triggered unconsciously by events, sounds, smells, clothes too tight that send us into a state of rage, just sometimes we find ourselves in places and spaces where we feel every inch of our brokenness,
or the aching voids that leave us wanting, and expanding in our spirit because we need to express this experience we need to overcome it but in a paradoxical way we also need to deal with it so that those that follow will not have to enter into the nightmares of what is too often is a silent kind for years upon years. and we just need a place where we can put all of this, whatever this is for you.
Until we can transmute it and we need support as we go through the process. And what I may have found difficult to overcome, you may automatically see the solution and what you have found to be impossible to work through I may hold the answers to help you.
And we understand and have a knowing that some days are worse than others and many of us have had to struggle alone until we can get back to the really good days, those precious days that feel like Steem and SBD being at an all-time high.
But it’s the not so good days that continue to return to us that is the reason we need support from each other, those that have the capacity to house empathy and compassion and give it freely as the need arises, those that really care. To help us get back to a space where we can affirm, “I Am Above And Beyond Being Bothered.
This post is a beginning of a platform for a healing renaissance to happen, for us to take back our power as women of this earth so that we can resume our rightful roles as the healers and nurturers, mothers of Planet Earth, and so much more.
This post is meant to be the beginning of A Revelation Revolution, where we get out all that we need to express, by way of writing it in the form of fiction, non-fiction, poetry, short story, prose or long story novels, drawing or painting or doodling it, by way of dtube, or dsound, by photography, or making music and singing it.
Whatever your gift or your way of expression is I ask that you join this group of women and share and add your fuel, your gift to the fire.
And if we truly come together as women on a mission of returning to live the best life possible it will happen and it will happen faster as “WE” more than “I”.
This post is a clarion call to all Women who suffer from something that may at the time seems is bigger than life itself and as time goes on it seems to dominate and take up more space in our lives.
Below are just a few things, but there are more. Please share your journey in the comments below and I invite all women to join this platform and group of women including myself and let us come together be strong together and fiercely help and support one another. Please…
Depression
Rape
Connective Tissue Disorder
Physical Abuse
Verbal Abuse
Lyme Disease
M.S.
Fibroids
Arthritis
Mental Illness
The Women’s Group and Platform I desire to form is called W.O.V.E.N. which are the acronyms for Women of Victory Excelling Now. For now, W.O.V.E.N. will be an alliance member of tribeglobal-love on Steemit and Discord. Your invite for discord is here: https://discord.gg/KmEBvSH
In the channel, WOVEN introduce yourself and let's start a conversation.
The symbol for the group is the Bumblebee, because according to science because the bumblebee’s body is too heavy to be supported by its wings its not suppose to be able to fly. But because the bumblebee is above and beyond that information it does fly against all the odds…..
We can now spread our wings and fly, soar as we rise above and beyond the things that have happened to us that do not define who we truly are, as we rise above the naysayers, who told us only what we would not become, or that it couldn’t be done.
As we rise we will see that we can do what seemed to be the impossible bringing silence to all those that were obstacles as they stood in our path as naysayers, our enemies and also as well the many times we stood in our own way, now we have reached a crossroad where we can choose to transform.
Moving away from the polar opposite side of darkness, and uncertainties and back to our center of balance where we will live life at its best as we dare to rise and become Women Of Victory Excelling Now.
I make intentions to be apart of the energetic force in 2018, that assist women to be their own advocate and to return to self-nurturing and self-love. So Be It!!
Cover Image courtesy of esoterik-plus.net
Image 2,3, 8 courtesy of pinterest.com
Image 3 Minae lee painting on canvas art - dace. iiprint
Image 4 courtesy of marriedwiki.com
Image 5 courtesy of dreamstime.com
Image 6 courtesy of psychiatryadvisory.com
Image 7 courtesy of facebook.com
Image 9 courtesy of markrrowe.com
Wow. I am not a woman, but I felt very moved by your writing.
Ugh, so good. I felt like you were writing the story that I want to write. Since being on Steemit (only about 4 weeks actively now), I have been feeling this itch to start sharing my story of wounding and healing. I will be following your work as an inspiration.
Thank you!
Thank you do keep in touch @ssimkins9. If you have a story to tell I encourage you to get it out. I want to see it. Definitely stay in touch I do a lot of contest for poetry and prose. A good way to exercise the writing muscle. Also, welcome to Steemit. I am following you now.
@zenmum xx
I did reach out I am waiting for her to create more post so that I can support her, but I did comment one that just cycled out. Thank you @thecreativerebel for the recommendation and your support. Your presence in my life is so powerful and I honor your friendship and kinship. Wishing you and your family well.
I just read it and I’m literally in tears. Thank you so much @rensoul17 for your incredible vulnerability and openness to share your journey. I relate to all of it and I feel inspired by your words and strength.
I am glad you have both connected here. :)
@rensoul17, @zenmum is my sister-in-law, and we share a communal house together with my brother, their two little ones and my boy. She has a real gift for writing, but not had much opportunity to express it with looking after a bubba. So its awesome to see you writing again @zenmum! :D
Loving the digital community here and getting to know you more every day @rensoul17. :)
Thank you for connecting us @thecreativerebel
With English being my second language I often second guess myself and feel a bit shy, when it comes to unleashing what I feel. But, it feels safe to do so here.
Looking forward to get yo know and read more from @rensoul17 and you (@thecreativerebel).
Yes, I look forward to connecting with you more as well @zenmun. Any help you need with your writing in English I am willing to help. my email address is [email protected] we can keep in touch that way. Thank you @creativerebel for connecting us.
Wow!!! I am not where you are. Maybe some day? I have a group that is a bit about being bothered but i know many of my members would love to join you. #teamgirlpowa I dont believe i've seen you in there but its a bit different, weird, quirky.. sexpositive etc..
Anyway feel free to join us on discord. Id love to join WOVEN and maybe it will help me be a better leader that can protect my interests and uphold my values without fighting quite so hard. I really want to get to the place where i can resist the status quo of white male patriarchal capitalism without losing my shit . Or to lose my shit a tad less?? I honestly dont know but im into this although it seems impossible for me from point 1 lol.
Anyway i like your work so far and i believe i was already following you but i will try harder to support you mission now.
Thank you @limabeing for sharing your authentic self. I know you can get to the place where you keep it all together no matter what goes on outside of you. We will talk more. W.O.V.E.N. will have its home on discord for now under my server on discord tribeglobal-love you can always connect with me there. Here is your invite. https://discord.gg/XF3KaE
You're an amazing woman, and this platform has shown that, it was nearly same for me when I came here, in fact I could say I've had an amazing experience,
Im just serenading you, hope it feels better
Thank you @joseddiccus, what I did not include in this post is the fact that there will be men our life that will support us and we should allow them to do so. It brings universal balancement. Life in no way can be one-sided if we are to succeed as human beings. You have been there for me so much and your comment never go unnoticed I keep them in a special place in my heart. Thank you for reading my post.
"I am above and beyond being bothered"
Sometimes, this words are all we need to go through most stormy days.
I'll go paste this : "I AM ABOVE AND BEYOND BEING BOTHERED" somewhere I'll be seeing daily, it gives a kind of reassurance to the soul.
Thank you! .
You are right @masterpiz, sometimes words are all we need to make it through the storm and to know that there is someone there that understands and that is holding the space for us in spirit. Thank you for reading my post and leaving your comment.
Hello my darling Ren,
I can feel that you honour me in this post, I thank you and join your movement with enthusiasm, positivity and hope.
I am lucky to have had a life long ally in the form of a gentle man. Together we have endured each others pains and human failings. We have caused each other emotional pain, no doubt, but I'm sure it is in the form of projecting a lot of our own self judgement, still not nice and definitely something in need of work. To often those close to us end up in the path of stuff that is not theirs to wear. I am guilty of this, but I want to push past the guilt in order to address it.
I do believe that regardless of our situations all woman need a sisterhood, just like all humans need a village.
Most of our societies do not provide for this, we live in our boxes in isolation.
I have found this connection here. I can walk through my physical world or be in my home and talk to no-one, or have the most superficial of interactions that feel more isolating.
I have found verse, poetry and visual arts have been an amazing way to access emotion. Much deeper than just stating facts.
As you know I am working on putting together my own collection. I am excited to hear where you are at with your own process. I feel akin to your path and very much like you are a mentor.
I love the Bumble bee too!
The symbol for my illness is a zebra. It isn't something I identify with too much, although I appreciate it's sentiment.
I worked in hospitals as a nurse for many years before I became sick, and spent more than enough time in them last year. I know that they do look for the obvious and avoid dealing with or considering less likely or complex problems. But I have doctor friends and colleagues and they are not familiar with being taught this phrase literally, although I can tell you from experience doctors definitely work by it's sentiment.
My speciality was in the treatment of eating disorders. It is frequently represented by a butterfly.
It represents the process of change and working for change. Eating disorders are extremely complex and can feel impossible at times, recovery takes time and always has setbacks. This simple representation can feel like it diminishes the battle that these remarkable people fight every day. Setbacks that are part of the process towards recovery can feel like failure.
The butterfly resonates for some but for others it is invalidating.
I like the bumble bee 🐝 💜
I get everything you are saying, I am sensing that you have much more to say. A whole lot more. I honor you and your family as a whole. Sometimes we spiral we move into chaos, ego takes the reigns. and we forget that we loved each other once. But we can recapture what we once had, we just need to work on it. Thank you for embracing with enthusiasm what I am doing witH WOVEN. We will talk more about that in discord. And you are right we do always need a sisterhood. You are my SISTER never forget that. I feel that you consider me your sister as well, which I will always hold in high regard. @girlbeforemirror.
This "This post is a beginning of a platform for a healing renaissance to happen, for us to take back our power as women of this earth so that we can resume our rightful roles as the healers and nurturers, mothers of Planet Earth, and so much more.
This post is meant to be the beginning of A Revelation Revolution, where we get out all that we need to express, by way of writing it in the form of fiction, non-fiction, poetry, short story, prose or long story novels, drawing or painting or doodling it, by way of dtube, or dsound, by photography, or making music and singing it." is very powerful. Encouragement to use our talents to heal and help others is beautiful. Thank you.
You are welcome @sumayyahsaidso. Thank You for stopping by.
💘
Thank you for stopping by @intuitivejakob
The Manifesto
Because sometimes we can’t kiss it and make it all better. Sometimes we have to endure a season of longsuffering where life doesn’t feel or look good. And we have to continually feel the pain, the struggle, the loneliness and the hurt of it all. Even when on the outside we don't look like we are dealing with a disease, yet on the inside the fire lingers and burns.....though being a woman, a man also has this chills,this part is a soul of many out there but just a few can hold on. It's a great thing having you in steemit to give life strength and bones to the weak...I still stand inspired woven in grace to hold out the times.
I know and I agree @febizle. these situations are not confined to one gender men do experience this as well. and it is so good that you speak on behalf of men. Because I have never been a man my perspective would be somewhat null and void so thank you for lending your voice it is appreciated here and I embrace your reply.
Thank you so much it looks like my ink ceased not to write buh in awe of what have been said.
Hey, thank you for this post. I have experienced this
"While we could only afford to give energy and attention to the present moment and all that life in that moment was demanding and screaming for us to do. We had to move on in life or get left behind. "
And would like to share what came to mind when reading these words... It is a welcome gesture of interest in the voice of mine that has felt shushed or shunned... By you, thank you. I will work on that experience, articulating it, accepting it, I will do that, thanks to your awareness. Checking back and will keep in touch.
Thank you @ndbeledrifts for your words and reading my post. Been to your website I love your art.
I don't know if you meant now: but I felt compelled to share now...
"This post is a clarion call to all Women who suffer from something that may at the time seems is bigger than life itself and as time goes on it seems to dominate and take up more space in our lives.
Below are just a few things, but there are more. Please share your journey in the comments below and I invite all women to join this platform and group of women including myself and let us come together be strong together and fiercely help and support one another. Please…"
I just wanted to remember what you said because I often am at a loss for the words to describe that feeling, that what torments me is larger than life... I have experienced many shocks to the system... Gradually they met less resistance until I experienced a breaking point... When I lost the will to defend myself, and what occurred at that time was largely considered to be the onset of my "mental illness" . I consider it more of a weakened will to work for the good, because of an overwhelming sense that the good was being outnumbered and being schemed into traps that would eliminate it altogether...and the sense of futility really drove me to a place which was hard to communicate from. I gradually realized I would have to endure the maniacal micromanagement of the people around me until I was able to make a move and be free of their way of being, of seeing things. This ability to endure torture was weakened because of the years of the will being worn down... Systemic abuse starting from unnecessary surgery to the experience of a family fractured, sexual trauma and wrongful classification of existential woes as mental defect. I can relate when you say it seems larger than life because it's like before I even had a chance to say, maybe this practice is questionable, I was a victim of the process. But yeah, I would say the rape, losing my will to influence the actions taken on my body, was the first blow to my will to fight. I can say that the confusion that sprouted from that experience led to more vulnerability being taken advantage of by men, by "love", by "success", by "progress". Each time I was willing to place my own body of needs as secondary. Each time my will to fight for my own body of needs became deteriorated, but I always somehow existed through the massive waves of delusion that seemed to swallow the problems that came before and dwarf them into something far greater and more impossible to chip away at. I continue, most days waking from intense dreams of alternatives pursued nearly to their fruition, to awake to the grave reality of that impossibility. I am in a war with my mouth, knowing how close the things I say have taken me to oblivion -- the psyche ward. But it's an opportunity to be who I am, without censoring it for the sake of protecting some one else's delusion, that relativizes those experiences-- showing that a woman can be wild, that wild things can heal over time, alone. However, this belief I need to fight the fear of sexual misadventure alone, the belief that I need to fight the terror of being silenced by a culture and society that does not give credence to my emotions, or my right to choose what happens to my body alone... This seems an undue hardship. I hope by connecting on steemit I can strengthen the women who see me because this platform was a beacon to me in nov2016 it continues to be. If nothing else, steemit is a Place where I can speak freely. This is hallowed sacred ground, to a voice parched by the flavor of a sterile and complicit madness which seems to pervade the workplace, the hospital, and the university alike. I have taken my fight to those sites of struggle with relative to little to no influence, it seems, but at least on steemit we are mutually affirmed by our presence. The will to fight is a blessing, a great righteous thing that is like to encounter the atheist in the foxholes, that blinding impact of personal power that when harnessed with full personal intention for love, can bring calm to the densest chaos. So it's a very painful thing to see it dwindle through abuse. I think I can resign myself to a level of honesty here and say I had an experience witnessing racism that caused my faith to dwindle, that trauma slowed things down so much for me. I still feel stuck in that moment, watching one person unleash this hatred onto another person. I feel like I may have gotten lost in the walls then, invisible and frozen, forever living in the stiff seconds of that heartbreaking decapitation. Huh. I know I'm long winded here, but I wanted to say ever since then, I've been pretty lost. The ability to surmount that trauma seems to me unfeasible, to move beyond it... But that's what I had to do at the time, or I could have lost everything. I stand on the precipice but I know that even though it seems larger than life the love in my heart is what keeps it alive. Even as it breaks it over and over... Thanks for listening and I hope I haven't taken too much of your time.... Blessings ~~~
Like a bumblebee I forgot how heavy that was till I said it whoops, but still flying above and beyond being bothered... 🙂
Hey @ndbeledrifts the amount that you downloaded in this space is only an indication of a build up, I think there is even more, you need to get out. I also feel like it is time for you to shift out of the mind and heart space where you are to a much higher level. Please accept my invite to join tribeglobal-love tribe it's a server that I created t help Steemians worldwide that write in the area of arts, music, and spiritual and substainability, With the publishing of this post I have added a new channel to the tribe in discord which is the WOVEN channel for women to gather and have a conversation, and the discord server is also for one on one conversations which if you like you and I can have. This is your invite to TRIBEGLOBAL-LOVE https://discord.gg/KmEBvSH
Thank you for the observation, for the empathy, for the invite. I tried to join discord but I think my browser is outdated and my email verification wasn't working. I agree, I'm ready to take it to the next level...my art is a powerful tool to recharge my energies to bring love and comfort to the environment, to myself. I will continue to reach, to feel what it is that's going on with me. Your understanding is so unique. I am grateful to exchange with you, with steemit, and hopefully, soon with discord. Best wishes :) nat
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