I wish you welcome to Steemit
You've caught something with me with what you're writing.
"but I have been fortunate enough to see glimpses into a reality beyond ours, which keeps me going."
I'm a little curious about what you've seen as keep you goin
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Hello @xpilar. Im happy to give you a preview :) because it will take me a little while to learn how to make good blogs. I don't just want to write, i want my blogs to look good as well, if i want to reach people on a blogging site i have to put the work in. And at the moment im finding it quite confusing so i can share something with you now to keep you from waiting.
So i was thinking about what should i share with you, then this experience came to mind. I absolutely struggle with depression and it has been very bad at times where i wonder if i want to be here anymore, i often feel like i just want leave this place, its too painful for me. One day last year i was feeling this way, so i decided to go for a long walk along the coastal path to clear my mind. I drove to the coastal path walk, which runs along side the beach and up over a hill. I didnt want to go down to the sea on this day, i wanted to walk straight ahead and up over the hill. As i started my walk in my mind i reached out to Gaia 'If you really are there, and you really can hear us, please help me'.
I am not sure when this started to happen in my life, but i sometimes can see what i call a 'net' in the air, it is difficult to explain as i do not know what it is. But the best way i can describe it is you know when you make a bubble with bubble liquid, and on/in the bubble you can see this film of colour swirling around, well it is similar to that. Sometimes just in the air, i start to see this translucent colourful net, which also has geometrical patterns. It is always moving, sometimes it can just cover one small area, other times its covering everything.
So i am about 20 minutes into my walk, i look up from my feet and notice this 'net'. I stop in my tracks as i haven't seen it for a while, it's much stronger when i look to my right out towards the sea. I then notice that in this one particular spot the geometrical patterns seem to be concentrating in one area, so i am staring at it wondering what it is and what is going on, then the net opened up so there was a small area in the shape of a circle where there was no net, like an opening, and through that little window i saw a dolphin leap out of the water in the distance. I jumped with excitement because i absolutely love the dolphins, they are often seen in the sea there, and i felt excited because they were in the bay. I decided to turn back around and climb down the cliff to one of my favourite spots to sit, and just watch to see if i could see any more dolphins. I could not see the net anymore, i was thinking about it in my head like wow that was amazing!!! The pattern drew my attention to this one little spot, then opened up, then in that exact spot i saw a dolphin leap out. It felt like the net was trying to show me something to cheer me up. If i had kept walking up over the hill not paying any attention i would not have seen them.
So i reach my little spot, the sun has set, it's not very dark but it's not very light either, and i think to my self i can't stay here too long. I get an impression to take my shoes and socks off, like this intruding thought. I didn't want to as it was a little cold and my feet are always cold. But the thought would not leave my mind so i did it. I had my bare feet touching the small little areas of grass on the area i was sitting, and i just relaxed. My feet felt like they were pulsing, they did not get cold at all they actually felt really hot. One part of my mind is telling me 'i think you're insane', but then another part of my mind felt like it was interpreting something 'you're not insane, just relax it will help you'. I felt just so calm and peaceful, i didnt feel any of the pain, i couldnt really feel my body, it just felt like i was part of the cliff side. I didn't care if it was all just in my mind, it was working what ever it was. It was quite dark by now and i thought to my self, 5 more minutes and i will have to leave before its totally dark. So i shut my eyes, and after a minute or so i could hear a pod of dolphins directly below where i was sitting. The sea was about 50ft below me, it was too dark to see them but they were really really close by, i could hear them jumping, splashing out of the water, making some noises. I was jumping up and down with excitement, i grabbed my phone and hit record. I know i wouldn't be able to see them but i wanted proof for my boyfriend because i knew this story was going to sound really werid! I filmed them for about 30 seconds where you can clearly hear how close by they were, and in the background i am just laughing like a little child.
I had to leave soon after because there was not much light to get back up the cliff.
As i was walking back to the car, my mind still trying to logically explain everything that had just happened, saying it was just a coincidence etc. I knew it couldnt have been at the same time, i started that walk seriously wondering if i still wanted to be alive, and i asked Gaia to help me feel better if she was willing to and able to, to try and shift some of this heaviness as i walked up over the hill. What happened, i saw the net form all around me, it focused in on one point, opened up, then i saw a dolphin leap in exactly the point i was looking at. I turned around and climbed down the cliff side, had a weird repetitive thought to take my shoes and socks off, which made me feel totally calm and at peace briefly. Then a pod of dolphins surfaces directly below me, out of the whole area of the bay that is the spot where they came up, right where i was sitting. My mind was full of excitement, wonder, what just happened? what is that net? does anyone else see it? what the hell is going on? I need to find out what this is. Why am i seeing it? Maybe i should write about it?
All these ideas and thoughts, my mind had done a total flip from when i started that walk. I wasnt thinking about if i could continue with my life, i was eager to find out more about it, to share the story with my boyfriend, and i was eager to experience it again.
hi @myindigoinsight
Your story is good and I live in it when I read.
Reality or not, it's your revelation as a counter.
I would like to read more about what you write about in your blog on the future.
As I said, you have awakened something in me
I am so happy to read that! it's the aim of my blog, not everyone will have experienced some of the things i have, but many will have a very open and inquisitive mind and maybe will take an interest. If you want to learn math you go to a math teacher, if you want to learn about weird experiences people have had then you should read a weird persons blogs! ha. I am not comparing my self to a teacher by the way, only making a point.
I have an open mind and my thoughts and opinions are not on an A4 level.
So I'm always interested in reading other people's interpretations of their experiences
Re: sturggling with depression...
When you’re going through bouts, get yourself some 5-HTP and take twice a day. Should be feeling better within a week. Can pick up at pretty much any health food store or wherever has a reasonable selection of nutritional supplements.
Not a complete end-all-be-all “solution,” but it’ll definitely serve well.
💖
Thank you so much for that and for generously voting on my post :) I will go and see if i can find some 5-HTP tomorrow, going through a rough patch at the moment and i don't want to take anti-depressants. If it helps ill write a blog about it and be sure to mention you for the advice!
👍😉
5-HTP Is a cool solution but correct me if Im wring, which i am a lot, i think walnuts are high in 5-htp. Do you have filters on your shower? An RO system for your main water supply can be detrimental for your mental health. Fluoride and chlorine and various other heavy metals that often times are synthetic get absorbed directly into the bloodstream and allowing for 10 times toxicity to happen from said toxins in the water then as opposed from drinking it directly. Unfortunately distilled water or RO system is one of the very few ways to remove fluoride or fluorine. Fluoride in the water has been shown to have dramatic results in a population as far as cancer, mental health issues and overall decrease in health not to mention making the person more susceptible to subliminal Imaging such as TV or ads on the internet excetera
I did not know 5-HTP was in wallnuts, but I actually had a negative reaction to it anyway, heart palpitations and feeling like i was in a perpetual state of coming up for hours! Ha. Upon doing some research it seems serotonin is not the culprit, and that reaction happens when your system is flooded with too much. I have more reason to believe that dopamine is at play rather and rok's tip spurred me to look into that anyway so i am working to increase dopamine levels naturally instead.
Luckily where i live the water is not fluoridated. However we do use a water filtering jug to remove other impurities :)
Fluoride in the water is such an immense topic however, and rather alarming :/
Intriguing. I am looking to connect with people who have had out of the ordinary such experiences. Will look forward to read more of your genuine reports.
The net you saw is the bedrock of the energy connections in the physical and beyond.
Thinking "why stay" is common to indigos. My recommendation, do stay. It's getting really exciting here and will soon be even more 👍😊
I can take this to a whole new level of weird for you, which links back to my previous comment on your post about drugs. Last year for the first time i tried a psychedelic drug, it was called 2cb. It is not plant derived, but was recommended as a good starting out psychedelic because it's not too intense or too long of a trip. I've always been curious about them, because some, not all, of other people's reports seem rather similar to things i have experienced not on any drugs. Some people think it opens your mind up to 'other' things, some people think it doesn't, i wanted to try it, to see for my self and come to my own conclusion. I have always had an interest in them, but my weird experiences aren't always pleasant, i have seen some scary things too, and had a fear that if it did supercharge you for a short period of time to connect to other realms, then i didn't want to see anything bad. But the opportunity arose last year, i was in a good place mentally, with 2 people i trust, so i did it.
So this 'net' i have written about, as the effects were starting to kick in this net appeared more vividly and intensely than i had ever seen it before. It was part of everything, yet independent, the clearest i have ever seen it. You have a great deal of control on 2cb it seems, you can choose to get lost in the moment but pull your self out and be coherent too when you want, obviously that is if you haven't taken a ridiculous amount. I am sitting on a chair gazing into mid air at this net, i noticed finer shapes and patterns than i had any other time i had seen it, it was almost like one was leading into the other. If i kept focused on one spot, which is hard to do when your seemingly staring into thin air, it's like it got deeper, it had many levels. Then i could see a face staring back at me! I was startled initially and snapped my self out of it, the fear setting in of not wanting to experience anything scary again. But then i had this very clear and distinct voice in my head seemingly guiding me through it. It told me to look at the wall, so i did. I could see snake like faces, and not pleasant humanoid faces forming, my heart was racing a bit, i was getting nervous. It told me not to panic, just to observe, the fear is being triggered only by my mind. If i simply observe it, then they come and go. And it was true, after a few minutes of this i stopped reacting that way to them, i could just see them, and not react. It then told me that i needed to shift my perspective in general, and do this exact same thing in every day life. I cancelled my TV licence because mainstream TV is just so negative, i cant see something 'negative/seemingly evil' and not have an intense emotional reaction, it was explaining to me that i need to observe, but not react, if i choose to focus on it then ill get drawn in, observe it, and take my attention elsewhere. There are just as many positive stories out there about the world as there are horrible ones. It was making sense to me anyway.
So after i can observe these faces and not feel a reaction, i am told to find the face in the pattern again, so i concentrated, went through some layers, and then i felt something shift, something was different. My mental imagery then exploded, my eyes were open and i was talking with the others, but i had imagery playing in my head at the same time. The two people i am with know that i am a bit weird, and that it's my first time trying a psychedelic, so they as quizzing me about what i am experiencing.
This is going to sound so bat shit crazy! But eh, it's why i started the blog. So in my mind i can now clearly see some type of female humanoid cat being. She starts telling me about how the different dimensions or realms, are similar to the cells of our body, and the cytoplasm element of each different kind of cell is the same. Cytoplasm is cytoplasm. She said that the net i could see was sort of like the cytoplasm of the universe, each realm/dimension inhabiting it's own type of cell/area, but the net is the same across them all, its effectively the cytoplasm of the universe. And through this net beings of all kinds can reach being in other places, and this is what was going on here. I was relaying this to my friends, and they gave me some paper to try and draw it, how i was seeing it. So i did, i drew it all out and made lots of little notes all around it. They asked what the meaning of this 'connection' was, one of them asked if i had any kind of connection to this being. She said no, don't look for meaning, it's one of your kinds biggest draw backs, you can't just be present, you have to draw meaning from everything. She said her and some friends were doing their version of a ouija board, it wasnt that, but she said it was the closest thing we could understand. So they are trying to connect, and us 3 were there at the same moment in space time, using psychedelic drugs, it just sort of matched up. She showed me her self with a fishing line, and me taking the bait. She said it was random, and we should not look for a meaning, just enjoy the moment, the experience. There were some other things discussed but that was the main element to it.
Was this an authentic connection or just me tripping balls? I dont know. It sure felt real, it seemed to make sense, but i am aware that this net thing is something i have been curious about for a long time because i dont know what it is, so it could be something my brain latched onto and a drug induced trip emerged around that. I cannot disregard that, but no one else can 100% disregard it was a connection either. Everyone has their opinions, but science does not fully understand the brain, mind, consciousness, the heart, so how can it fully understand the process a drug would have on it. It can measure what's going on and physical changes in the body, but without fully understanding this biophysical operating system, or the greater universe, topped with my other experiences which have proven to me personally that there is far more out there than what our identified 5 senses perceive, my mind is open, i don't think any one person or one group of people can give a definitive answer at this point in time.
But i think it is very interesting that what 'she' told me about it, sort of matches up with what you just said. I searched and searched for some information about the net, but the only snippet i've had was from that trip, which i am on the fence about. Sorry this is so long, but i thought it may interest you to read :)
"She" was probably your Pakawah, the animal totem, so to speak, that walks with you in the other dimensions. This is a friend and it will change faces and shapes. But yes, the net is real. We are all connected to it throughout our life-times, and once we ascend we get detached/disconnected. As it should be. Drugs can temporarily reveal to our minds the net, or what lies beyond, but they cannot release us. Drugs cannot bring us to realization. Many people still try, and fail. Time and again. Only the expansion of our awareness will bring our consciousness to the level of the I AM. It takes time, indeed, and self-discipline, it may be boring at first and very lonely as well (hence, the temptation to use drugs) but IMO there's no other way. I am adamant about this.
So, if your blog will be about your experiences after taking drugs I will be your avid reader but probably your worst critic 😉
Taking drugs to get out of this reality is like using a 50Kg hammer to pin a nail for a picture frame. Yeah, eventually you manage to stick that nail in the wall but on the way, you smash the picture
Carlos Castaneda (Are you familiar with his writings?) wrote marvelous books about his experiences after taking hallucinating drugs. On his deathbed, however, he confessed that using those substances is not advisable and hindsight he regretted doing so. I wrote about it in my post here.
Having said that, I was intrigued by your reports. Thanks, mate🙏
I do agree with you for the most part about your stance on drugs, it's a short cut, i can see why people get hooked, such escapism, and i only took a small dose of a mild one. I can certainly see how people would try and gain insight that way instead or turning inwardly, it's an incredibly difficult thing to do. This saying comes to mind- Don't worry if people don't like you, most people don't like themselves!
No my blog series wont be about me tripping! That's the only time i have tried it, a lot of the time my mentality is not in the right place and i spent a lot of time researching the effects on the brain. When you do struggle with depression they are certainly not something to be taking regularly. I do want to try mushrooms, read and watched a lot which has really sparked an interest, but that most certainly will not be for a long while, im just not in the right place. But when i do try them i will write about it just for you :) Im all for critics, you have to be logical even about mystical things, and others people's input no matter in what context can be helpful, no one will have all the answers and all the understanding!
Thankyou very much for your insightful comments, you've given me some things to look into!
🙏
There's a lot of BS out there. Not that I have the all/ultimate truth. But I have been around.
Glad to be of service. 🙂
Fuck. Now I really wanna try 2cb again. Lol.
I’d put money on ‘authentic connection.’
I can’t recall many details of my experience, though I do remember having the sense of being connected into networks not normally accessible, and the presence of ‘beings’ in/on that network. Might not have taken enough to fully open up to them, or perhaps closed myself off partly due to fear/resistance.
When i took it, the other two started tripping quite ahead of me, and i was thinking to my self hmmm maybe drugs don't work on me? They said that with 2BC it doesnt blow your mind open like some of the others, unless you've taken enough for that to happen, it's almost like you have to consciously allow it in, they said to try staring at something colourful with patterns and be open, so i glared at a painting for only about a minute, then i noticed it looked like it was breathing, then the colours were bouncing, and then off i went, then everything was alive and this net made an appearance. So it could be that, it could be you didn't take enough, maybe it was just your frame of mind at that time. Who knows.
2CB is annoying for men at least me... So weird being aroused and seeing visuals... That story in the comments is how all my good acid trips have gone in the past.
Haha!!! Have heard of such effects. Have you blogged about any of your trips?