Beautiful Post. I love how you're willing to criticize yourself from a third-party perspective. That's something that very few people can do these days. It's called humility, modesty & grace.
The irony & truth is that by acknowledging you can be a jerk and you are a jerk sometimes; it makes you not a jerk. It makes you humble, human, and a realist. Only a jerk would say he's never a jerk!
Let that boggle your mind for a bit
The truth is human beings are moody people! We can be assholes and we can be Santa Claus depending on that mood.
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