Sometimes I am a jerk. Just yesterday I was a jerk to someone I respect, because they hold a different opinion. I literally tried to punish the person for disagreeing with me. It felt totally justified in the moment. I thought about it today and realized how I had approached the situation and it wasn't a proud moment. Well, I was probably a jerk some time today also, I am just so insensitive I haven't acknowledged it yet.
I would like to filter out this behavior entirely, but it seems to ebb and flow. I do want to be blunt and direct, but I don't want to be mean and sometimes the difference is a fine line.
When I was younger I was wishy washy with my communication to the point it was often difficult to get a point across. This is why I often write in bullet points. In the corporate world where I came from nobody has time for long thoughtful communications. Make you point quickly and move on.
* using this graphic proves I am a jerk.
As my communication style has changed I've noticed that I hurt people's feelings. My only excuse is there isn't intent there. I like people, and I make it a point to find things I like in each person I deal with. However, if you ask me if a dress makes your butt look fat, and I think it does, I will tell you. Sadly, sometimes I say such things before the question was asked. I also subscribe to the "Life is hard, suck it up" mentality. Which can also be taken as cold and insensitive. So, yeah.. I'm a jerk.
Yet, I am torn. I've discovered some things I've learned because an honest person told me I was being an idiot instead of quietly listening and nodding. One of the benefits of being a jerk is I don't get my feelings hurt hardly ever. I appreciate blunt and direct people who get to the point.
I am at a point in life where I am not longer in charge of anyone. My kids are grown, my work no longer requires me to Manage or Direct. There are times when it is hard to take the Director out of me. Maybe it is time for me to work on "Not being a Jerk".
I can't decide. Maybe tomorrow.
hahaha
You are a jerk but don't worry, this is Steemit, you just have to find the right circle.
Well playedNow you're a jerk and a procrastinator.
You are blunt, direct and funny! You've gained a follower.
I’m totally the same way. My spouse always tries to tell me that I shouldn’t be like that, but I respond - well then how would you know that I really mean it, when I say you look great :)
Tim, truth is overrated when it comes to complimenting her. She needs to hear you say she looks great. Do it.
There are plenty of times when I do compliment my spouse, and they say "you are just saying that because you have to". I always reply - you know that isn't true. I only compliment you when I really mean it. It makes it a lot more meaningful when it is my actual/honest reply.
That sounds like being an awesome witness is very similar to being an awesome relationship manager.
I really need to watch The Jerk again. Thanks for reminding me.
Haha! That is in my short list of favorite movies. I need to watch it again also.
I don't have time to get my feelings hurt. Does that make me a jerk?
Well, you might be a jerk or you could just be insensitive. (yeah, I am loaded with that also)
I haven't seen you be a jerk yet, but would I even notice? lol.
That was actually going to be one of my questions. If you can take what you dish out, I think that just makes you efficient. However, if you can't take what you dish out, then you're a jerk.
However, if you wanna have friends, then they'll all need to be like you. And since they're not, you have a decision to make:
I think both are great options.
bro you are not a jerk . a jerk never agrees that he is a jerk. and he never even realizes at least. you are cool brother.
There's only one word that I used when I am at this same position. It's called moderation. You have to get your message out, no one pays you for being a nice guy but then you have to pass it along with moderation less you miss the point and create avoidable enemies.
If you are blunt to someone and the person hates you for that, I think the person just wants to hate you.
I have come across people that i was blunt and direct to and they hated me in an instant and I reciprocated the same gesture as quick as possible.
How dare they dislike me for speaking the truth.
I have a friend who sounds a lot like you.
He's one of the smarted, most well-read people I know. And he's a mega jerk sometimes.
Typically it comes from a clash of personalities: he likes for people to always think he's right, and I like to question everything. When I imply that something he's said is wrong, the walls go up, the gaslighting starts, and it's usually about as much passive-aggressive projection as I can handle.
But he's an interesting and caring dude otherwise.
I actually don't think you're like that. Maybe a jerk, but not in the same way.
Maybe it's just that people get to a certain point in life where they've heard enough bullshit and thus have a well-calibrated ability to identify time sucking activities and people.
Whatever… I'm talking out of my ass.
DED!
Savage!
Well, only to like my friends and my sister. haha. Dang it. I am a bigger jerk than I realized.
Haha...Jerk
People having a different opinion is the downside of free-will. If you think about it, the fact that we all think differently is the secret of our success as a human species. If we though alike we would be little more than lemmings and would have gone extinct thousands of years ago.
hmm. I think there's a way to be honest without being a jerk. And if they think you are after you tried to be nice....then oh, well. no matter what they say, i think they'll appreciate the truth over time. also - maybe if their feelings are genuinely hurt, then they need a little reflection time on why they're so damn sensitive!
sincerely,
also a jerk.
I like Jerks :-)
There's no right or wrong answer in my mind... Some people advocate for the Jesus-esque level of kindness and charity, others are full Randian honesty and individuality. Both extremes seem insane to me. Sometimes I find myself being real, other times I find myself sympathetic.
The hardest part for me is, some people are just silly. Not making a lot of sense and getting angry if you try to clarify. But what can you do >_>
You made me remember Bukowski or Palahniuk, direct, precise and wise words
I loved it
Sometimes it's hard to stay calm while arguing with someone who is wrong but holds stupid opinion and do not want to discuss it.😂But I totally agree that being rude and churlish is unnecessary.
Sometimes everyone is:)
I have often acted exactly the opposite of what you say, but I'm still an jerk. There is no right path, apparently, we are all jerks, some of us notice it and others don't.
This post has received a 9.21 % upvote from @booster thanks to: @whatsup.
Wow..I hand it to you Sir...You weren't wishy washy about your personality..I really admire and respect that..Truth be told..you sound "OK" but if you feel there is need for improvement and enough room and time for change,I'm all in full support.
This is really appreciable because you are analysing your communications and the effect of your communication around you, and in my opinion we all are natural beings and our way of communication is so natural, but if we want then we can change it and in my opinion the understanding is the first step of improvement. Thanks for sharing your experiences with us and wishing you an great day. Stay blessed. 🙂
Hella-oh-f*cking-lujah (this is what happens when someone writes good post. I spam their comments section. Literally.)
I don't think you're a jerk, I think you're an emotionally driven entity that makes decisions in the moment that in hindsight turn out to be poor. It doesn't make you bad; it makes you human.
Your Welcoming bro @whatsup ❤️
nice post