Dear Steemian,
Today's dilemma is should I change my name?
I have come to an interesting point in my life, where my passport runs out next year, I am separated, but still using my married name and I hate my maiden name, so I could give myself a whole new identity by law. It only costs £14.99 by deed poll to do this in the UK
So I could actually become Hope Huggs for real. And it is something I am seriously considering, despite the sniggers I get from the people I ask when I tell them I might do it.
Actually the only person who thought it was a great idea was the counsellor who I talked to to help me deal with the break up of my marriage.
I am going through a liberating part of my life, throwing off shackles of a tough few years and changing my name feels like it could be a significant part of the "this is me" process.
The name Hope Huggs says it all really about the type of person I am and who I strive to be. It is a bit quirky, yes - but so am I!
I know that if I did go through with it, there will be some eyebrows raised and lead to some interesting conversations, but I can tell them all to come to Steemit. :)
Yes, probably the most interesting reaction will come come from father as this is something he will not be impressed about (much like the decision I made to invite a steemian friend into my home, I talked about in the last post).
I have talked my Mom around, she says as long as I include Helen as a middle name or first name, she'd 'live' with it.
I suppose that main drawback would be all the paperwork required to show who I am when it comes to form filling (and particuarly government related like voting forms). But I changed my title from 'Mrs' to 'Lady'and that hasn't caused too much hassle so far.
The only thing that would bug me a little bit would be the fact that my degree and masters certificates would still be in my maiden name and it would feel almost like they belonged to someone else. But that is a feeling and feelings can be worked on.
So let's take a summarized look at the Pros and Cons. (Perhaps I have missed some, please do let me know if you can think of any more)
The PROs
- Getting rid of a name that you dislike
- A new identity, a new start
- A name that I have chosen myself
- Opportunity to explain why I have choosen this name and to talk about Steemit.
The CONS
- Everytime I do official paperwork I will have to proove who I am.
- Education certificates will be in a different name
- will have to change name on bills, banks, etc
- Potential ridicule of the name
So what do you think, my fellow Steemians?
Is the name change idea a little too close to crazy, or does it have some merits?
Your sincerely,
I feel like you shouldn't change your name,
1- when a child is born, parents choose childs name which they find best for his/her life, for child to not be mocked (denis-penis and stuff like that) and the type of person they think you will strive to be
2- all your friends, family and people in your life will have to get used to call you new name and it will be a complete hole in them for the rest of their lives because it is very very very... very rare for a person to change name
3- so we live in a world of social media, and sometimes forgotten friends from when you were a child, and let's say you come to 50s-60s-70s, seek to find others who are still alive, and it's unimaginable how happy it makes you feel when you get in touch with someone who you lost cause you went different paths of life
4- you think it's funny story when people will want to know why you changed your name, and what was it before this one, but in my opinion after first 10-15 times it will just be exhausting.. to repeat the same story to people who might just go home and never see you again and they will forget about that story in matter of hours and never bring it up again, ofcourse there will be people who will find that funny and maybe tell their friends, but your idea of mentioning steemit and your past name will exclude one another, wether a person is motivated for money or for memories, they will just forget about the other thing you said, and strive either to find more about you because you had the courage to change something that in this times defines you, and if person just listens for steemit, even if they join steemit, they will use you to get themselves up, and you guessed it, you will be forgoten
5 - you are walking down the street and somebody yells : (idk your name so i'll just use Helena) Helena! you keep walking because your name is Hope... person just stands and wonders why you don't want to turn around, maybe you don't like them anymore? . another day comes person sees you, you say hi, he looks away and keeps walking, you think to yourself, the person dislikes me now? We were so good back then...
Sorry for long post I just wanted to express how I feel about changing the name, because, what ties us to past lives where we were no one and nothing or abuse or anything negative, isn't tied to name or our current chlotes or apartment or the gift from that person, it's all in OUR head.. past life won't let you go until you let go of it, and trust me, because all the way up untill 2016, we could've barerly afford rent and food, any kind of clothing was luxury for me, and the only thing I changed is my mindset, and it went uphill from there .. Cheers!
Thank you so much for writing out these reasons, they are all very valid points. I might argue that the name change might assist the mindset, but yes essentially that is just a thought inside my head and doesn't change anything.
After all is said, I know you will make the right decision, after all we can all comment and advise you, but you will keep that decision for the rest of your life, not us, I just tried to give you my perspective and the best possible solution. :)
upvoted and now following you too. ;)
Your name is who you are. It may have been selected for you, but it's up to you to own it.
No just don't change it
Why do you say 'no' @jout?
You got a 0.08% upvote from @postpromoter courtesy of @jout!
Hey Hope, thanks for sharing this story with us. First things first: I think YOU alone make the decision. It is your name, it belongs to you. So the decision belongs to you, too. Not your father or mother or some stranger over the internet (including me), but you.
Having said that, I think it becomes pretty clear from your post that you want to change your name and get rid of the old one that you "dislike". It is that tiny little word "dislike" that is decisive. If you would say that you still like the name because you have sort of grown into it over the years, and even though your marriage didn't work it is still a part of you, I would advise you to consider keeping it. But if you really do not like the name anymore, I see this as a sign of getting rid of it. The cons that you listed are basically just some administrative hurdles that you will learn to get over real quick. But what is important is that YOU feel comfortable with your name.
Anyways, that's just my two cents, hope it helps you make a decision that feels right for you.
Don't worry I won't blame Steemit if I do change it and it all goes pearshaped. I was just interested in other people's opinions on the matter. It's quite a mixed bag so far.
I can imagine :) But I like that you "crowdsource" your decision-making process
Interesting... Personally, changing one's name seems like a big hassle to me, and I'm content with my own name, so I've never really given it any thought. That being said, everyone has their own thoughts and opinions and, as long as they don't hurt anyone else, should feel free to exercise their given rights should they choose to do so.
If you aren't happy with your name, want to change it, and are willing to put up with the hassle, then I say go for it! Getting people's input is important, but only as far as it is constructive. If they just think it's weird or different because it isn't "normal", then their point is somewhat invalid in my opinion. If they want to make a constructive comment or give actual advice, i.e. "Keep in mind that you may have to put up with some smiles and laughs because of your new name," then debate over it and determine if it is worth it to you. Some of those smiles and laughs might be because they like your name or because it has become a small bright spot in their day, you never know.
I'm ok with names that are a bit different. In fact, I often enjoy hearing them and find them interesting. My wife and I are planning on naming our daughter (19 weeks to go!) after a character from a cartoon. When people hear the name, they always ask where we got it from, at which point we awkwardly laugh and tell them it's from an anime called Full Metal Alchemist. My point is that we like the name and don't really care what others may say (granted our daughter may potentially resent us for that in the future, but I think Winry is pretty nice name overall, so I'll risk it). Be willing to hear people's opinions and advice, but remember that YOU are the one that has to make the decision and live with it.
At the end of the day, If you decide a name is something you enjoy, that it makes you feel good about yourself, and you decide you can deal with all of the potential downsides to changing your name, then do it!
Yes, my 6-year-old daughter doesn't appreciate being named after a rabbit in Watership Down, even though it is a really pretty name, that was popular about 60 years ago, She doesn't like being the only one with it at school.
I'm sure that one day she will appreciate it :) At that age the problem is probably just that it is different or unique. Most people come to appreciate being a bit unique in time. I certainly hope my daughter will, haha.
upvoted and now following you too. ;)
upvoted and now following you too. ;)
What I feel is you should go ahead with "Hope Huggs". I love my name but if I had a different name I would change it to my present name without any doubt.
You have listed some pros and some cons but I don't think you should look for cons, even a single pros is enough to do what you feel like doing.
GO FOR IT
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You got a 6.20% upvote from @allaz courtesy of @cryptogecko!
Hey, if you think of doing it then do it! Simple as that. Don't worry about the paperwork. These chors are just small stepping stones towards the change. A welcome change, isn't it?
Ps: I did change my surname 7 years ago. It helped :) I only changed one letter and mixed the other letters. Numerologicaly based on a Chaldean system, of course ;)
My suggestion - go ahead. Good luck!
Have you considered name Steemit Steemens?
I am joking, We can say anything but on the end you have to follow your heart, no matter the cons.
Good advice @olegw. I am trying hard to go with head AND heart these days.
Oh yeah, this two rearly go together😀
tell me about it lol
upvoted and now following you too. ;)
I personally don't think it's a good idea because first of all you are changing your identity second and the most important point is that you have already mention about your education documents and all other documents on which your name is mentioned, things seems easy on local level but by any chance if you need to move internationally you need to prove yourself at every checkpoint and believe me it will be a huge disaster for you.
I hope you understand the point but this is just my opinion rest is up to you.
I hope your decision will be the one that makes your life easier and satisfactory.
Good point, I have no particular ties to the UK and am slowly coming around to the idea of potentially living elsewhere. Maybe USA, maybe Europe.
MATE. totally do it.
i wanted to change my name to philip strawberry.
i had this whole illusion that i was an american golfer.
but better than that my daughter who i call bella
would be bella strawberry, best youtube name ever.
also her mum would become sam strawberry.
if i was you. i'd do it.
BE WHO YOU WANT TO BE FOR TODAY.
Hope and Strawberries Hmmm. It is quite catchy :)
If you're ready for all of the hug demands from the majority of strangers you've just met, I'd say go for it.
or... is it your first name you're changing?
Maybe I wouldn't like a hug from everyone! I'd never have time to do anything else.
Hope is a very good name 🤗
That part I am sure about :)
Then you are good everybody loves hugs 🤗
upvoted and now following you too. ;)
I changed my name legally when I was 19. I was breaking free of generations of dysfunction and taking my life for my own. This is still something that I am proud of and so glad I did. I feel like I was able to break so many generational 'curses' so to speak and raise my kids with a whole new name... that's my experience, so I'd say go for it. It sounds like it could be similarly meaningful and a 'new' start for you as well!
I like your style!
Following you now :D
Shakespeare once wrote : "What's in a name? That which we call a rose
By any other name would smell as sweet."
Personally I don’t really believe in the ‘new identity’ part of your considerations. You will always be you,no matter how many times you change your name.
I’m also really curious about the ‘hating your name’ part. Forgive me if my assumption is not correct - I only mean to do good and have no intention to offend you in any way - but to me it feels like you are struggling with issues that go far beyond just your name. (That’s ok - I think everyone does) Changing your name is not going to solve the things you’re struggling with.
Learning to accept that what is, is and working on living in peace with yourself and who you are - it’s a though lesson to learn. I’m speaking out of personal experience.
If you feel it will help you move forward, then all the cons you listed are not even important enough to consider. Then you should go for it, and don’t let nothing hold you back.
But the fact that you think that those cons are hurdles you don’t want to take, gives me the impression that deep inside, you know changing your name will not create the effect that you want it to.
You know, your name is not important, what’s important is who you are as a person, whatever your name is. Facing life and dealing with things you don’t like by accepting them, makes one a stronger person.
Maybe I’m completely wrong, if so, please forgive me for that. Also, it’s hard to explain what I mean in a language that isn’t mine. Still I hope I have been able to expres my thoughts.
And whatever you decide, you have my support.
Nice post! I followed you, looking forward to see more awesome post of you in the future. Don't forget to follow me back. I also upvoted this.
(Upvoting this comment will help street children of Manila, Philippines this Christmas season)
I would like to have your opinion on the post...
upvoted and now following you too. ;)
Hi Lady Hope, if what you are after is a change of image/new start can you not do that by just insisting everyone now calls you Hope Huggs, without actually changing your name officially?
I don't know what country you live in, but here in the UK you can call yourself anything you want without actually changing your name officially. Reginald Dwight never changed his name officially, but everyone knows him as Elton John. On official documents you just write XYZ known as Hope Huggs.
Voted, followed, resteemed.
Nick
Yes @nicktravers, I am in UK - that is a really good point. Hope Huggs could also become my business name, as well, like a pen name I suppose.
Hope Huggs could be your brand, about as real as Nick Travers.
upvoted and now following you too. ;)
If you don’t like your current name then I say by all means change it!
I think you will be happy with yourself getting rid of an identity that doesn’t make you feel happy. The paperwork is a lesser evil in my humble opinion
And about ridicule? Well unless you name yourself Princess Consuela like Phoebe on Friends you will be fine!
I loved Phoebe, she was the best one out of Friends, loved her style of running. I think you are right, stuff the paperwork, be happy!
upvoted and now following you too. ;)
I'm sure it feels great to change your name, feels like you're creating a new identity plus the whole excitement but I did this midway through college and in my country here, I have had to take an affidavit/proof of identity with me everywhere whenever I am doing official paper works, now my degrees carry a different name, banking details another and so the passport. In retrospect, I feel it wasn't worth the stress, but it was fun to rename myself back then even if it was just my middle name.
Yes, I must admit before doing a little research on the subject, I didn't realize (or think of) paperwork would be such an issue.
It's even a more difficult issue dealing with public offices where I live so I guess that's why I felt it wasnt worth it. At the end of the day, I believe it's still a good/symbolic way to recreate yourself.
upvoted and now following you too. ;)
Thanks @buddy67. I followed back.
good
upvoted and now following you too. ;)
All future hopes The road is long .
@adsactly.
The need to judge the mind before the heart is necessary
head first, heart second. I have to go with both.
Gd discussion dear @adsactly . now thsi post #resteem & upvote done .
Thanks, what do you think yes or no?
If changing your will help you be peaceful , than why not.
The whole purpose of whatever we do in life is to ultimately feel good about ourselves or be peaceful.
If changing your name helps you achieve that , then I don't see a reason why you should not😊
I really like the way you put that @backpackingmonk
A brilliant rule to live our life by.
upvoted and now following you too. ;)
I personally think the pros (although they are more esoteric) far outweigh the cons. You seem ready for change, ready to open a new chapter in your life. Trust me that the paperwork is temporary, as is the fear of having your degrees in your old name. This is something that happens to every person who gets married after graduating. (I also have multiple degrees and a published book in my maiden name. It hardly matters, honestly.)
That said, I would caution you against permanently changing your name due to your persona and reputation on Steemit. The real question is about how you want to see yourself and be perceived by others in all aspects of your life. If you want that last name and feel it represents the real you, with all your wonderful quirks, then it totally makes sense.
Hi @jayna, there is some great advice in there too. Thank you extra things to think about.
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Am sure u would not consider going back to your marriage... Even if u don't like ur maiden name.... May be u should consider remarrying.... Am sorry for my opinion just saying anyway.
It's a fair point. No, I would not go back to my marriage. And remarrying wouldn't be the top of my agenda, if I met someone I wanted to be with.
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Hello dear friends .
I am a new member , I'm so glad to be with you ,
I enjoy your comments ,
Please Follow Me : @kitty24
Identifying Myself:
https://steemit.com/introducemyself/@kitty24/identifying-myself
Welcome @kitty24 - what are your thoughts on a name change?
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Nice topic very good post and great sharing
Thanks.
thank you
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Nice tropics
I am when I am,and I don't want my name to be changed 🙂🙂
It is good to feel that way.
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@adsactly I think you should do whatever makes YOU feel happy. Hope Huggs is better than Dope Druggs any day! tho it sounds a little bit like a strippers name to me.
I have always loved the name Blessica for those with a touch of faith in them.
So think it over and then, do what feels right! :)
source
A stripper name? Thank you so much, that made me laugh so hard!
Glad you have a sense of humor! No offense! :)
Go ahead change it. You can always get new diplomas issued that will reflect the name change. By the way, must be nice to earn so much from one post. You're definitely very lucky!
Thank you, I am blessed that @Adsactly like my work to post it. I plan on doing a few new courses in something completely different from my degree, actually in the very near future.
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Listen to your heart and do what feels best in the long run. Might be a hassle for a short time but easy enough to deal with. Claiming an identity that fits is so important to your soul regardless if you stay with the same or create your own.
It does feel important like that, that is a great way of wording it.
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The pros by far outweigh the cons. How often do you have to prove your identity and how often do you change jobs? To get a new start must be priceless. Whatever you do; good luck.
True, this new start has truly been priceless.
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congo on winning 200+$
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As someone who has changed their name, its something that changes how you feel about yourself and how people perceive you. Although my change might have been a bit different since I changed mine from an Asian name to an Anglo-Saxon one I feel like I would have a similar effect. When I changed my name I did it so that people around me wouldn't have to fumble around and mispronounce it. It led to easier way to introduce myself and made it easier to fit in within my community. If you do decide to change your name and you're happy with what you're changing it to, I'm sure it'll work in your favour. But, before you do, maybe have a think about why you want to change it, is it because you want to leave behind the memories associated with your current name or is it because you're looking to live life from a different perspective. Whatever you decide, here to support :)
I suppose it would be to live a life from a different perspective.
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I also never liked my name, so I understand you pretty well. I was gonna write a really long-ish reply but do you know what? Change it. Go for it and enjoy your new identity.
Thank you for your understanding and empathy.
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Thanks. <3
Hi I am new at Steemit and getting to know more people. Saw your post and am interested to read and respond. I think apart from the Cons, the Pros certainly overpower them. Nothing is better than having a new identity that you are comfortable with. It gets you going for long-run. A new start is always good provided you have also burned the bridge behind and you are sure you will never regret once you change your name. The cons is abit of troublesome to do but soon it will be done and can be done. Just a matter of time and transition. Hope you can decide the best for yourself. If you interested to know me more, check me out. ;)
Because you describe yourself as strong mum, that is why I want to follow you. I am also a mum and have a child with some complication, hence I am striving to be strong mum. Hope we able to support each other. You take care.
Bridges are burnt. Everything is a fresh start now, so it's the perfect time if I'm going to do it.
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You are Who you are. Name matters not when we are able to communicate through our thoughts
That is a very profound thought.
do not
your name is very good
cool name 😍😍😍
Thank you
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Like this post thumbs up for this.
Do check my work if u don't mind.
yea change it to exactly :) @adsactly
nice one @samiurrehman10
Don't change it ! We know who you are becouse of your name.
Good point @deyu
🤗😁🎅
Hope Huggs? I vote no
Why do you say no?
It doesnt have a ring to it
I was wondering about this as i realised after choosing my current name that there is someone on instagram that already had my username
Yes, that or someone famous dares to have the same name as you and nothing is available lol
Very important post post is very important for me because you have many important and very important things for those who are on this platform, have a lot of good education from you, which are really good
I'm glad you liked the post.
I hope that in the future I will get such a post from you, will I get your post in the future?
If you look out for our posts, or follow @adsactly or myself, you will get all our posts
I follow you all the time. I can comment on all your posts, how can I do good. If I said a little bit to me, then I would have been happy if I came back to my profile with a little trouble and I would have been very happy how I worked, If you give some suggestions, then I am more than happy to hope you will visit my profile and give me some suggestions
if is possible that you can also change all of your credentials into your new name for example: going back to your university and tell them that you are changing name or you changed your name and you requested a new credentials under your new name and they accepted it then it is definitely better. To move on, sometimes it is also means to change the past.
I suppose the question is whether changing your name is a bit extreme for starting a new chapter in your life, maybe I should go and get a tattoo or something instead to symbolize a new start.
still it is up to you.. 😊
You have to follow your heart. Life is too short. Good luck.
Life is indeed short and should be enjoyed to its fullest.
I like the name "Hope "
But its you in the end, who has live with it so better go with the heart.
If it doesn't form any legal complications in the future then why not
I like the name Hope too, maybe I could think about a more 'normal' surname.
what matter most is what makes you happy. The choice is yours
I love that so many people say whatever makes you happy, that is rather touching.
If you change your name
I WILL FIND YOU ...
AND I WILL FoLLOW YOU ! 😂 (creepy song ) 🤡
Noooooo! LOL