Replacing the hot-button issue of sexism with something like murder, what you're essentially saying is:
"If the world is generally anti-murder, like you say, then why do some people, like me and some of the people I know, still get murdered?"
I don't see a single person, even here under the anonymity of the internet, saying, "I agree with the people in your workplace and the assumptions they make. I don't think women can cut in in the tech industry because they're women and women can't do that kind of work effectively."
Essentially, the very worst things people are saying are: 1. Suck it up. Your experiences are the exception in a generally pro-female world; and 2. A lot of so-called feminists are downright crazy and giving the rest of you a bad name.
Nobody is saying, "Those behaviors that these women describe are just fine! Everyone knows that women can't do tech anyway!"