Lately, I’ve been feeling a little bummed out.
I had a voraciously happy appetite for Steem and was really ON it to make this place way better and totally interacting with a shit ton of people on here.
But somehow that has fizzled out a bit.
And I think it’s because of a few different things.
Working thirty hours a week has just killed my energy.
This crazy super bloody blue eclipse moon shit has got my mental and emotional states a little fuzzy and unstable.
Mix in the stress from having to move house and the simple fact that my posts aren’t making as much as they ‘used’ to.
I know, I know… It’s not about the $$ but it somehow serves as the cherry on top of a small shitpile specially cos I am transitioning to fulltime Steemiehood
It all just gets a little wobbly and muddled up.
It’s the cracking open of my whole being so there is new space to grow.
But it just feels a little shitty.
A little scratchy.
A little why can’t I just feel easy
But as always, nearly clockwork, the world decides to throw me a massive bone in the form of extremely inspiring texts that lift my soul up for a tiny moment and remind me of the magnificence that is this life.
And I’d like to share them with you.
Because you deserve to immerse yourself in what they are saying and they deserve your eyeballs.
A LOVE LETTER TO LIFE BY VANESSA FLORENCE
Excerpt :
Thank you for RELENTLESSLY loving me.
And I know now for this love to be really next level, you need my cooperation.
Because if I trust you this can actually be a collaboration rather than a battle.
To know in my bones that everything you give me is a gift.
To sign off on every parcel and package of love you deliver.
To open to receive each of them fully.
The painful gifts
The sweet gifts
The scary gifts
The tender gifts
The bliss and the shit gifts.
All of them.
Vanessa is actually one of my most favourite human beings on this planet even though we have never met or even had a proper conversation.
This woman is pure and raw in all of her glory.
The good, the bad, the beautiful, the ugly.
ALL of it.
And it’s a mega inspiration!
Thank you for birthing this masterpiece my dear.
[Hae-Joo] The Steem Blockchain: A Networking, Media-Consuming, Content-Producing Virtual Chakra. by @imp.unity
Excerpt :
That's what the incentive system on this platform is bringing out of people... A belief in a novel type of hope, that we could actually sustain ourselves in life; in an economy that revolves around the circulation of thoughts and ideas, analysis and creativity, experience, authenticity, community...
This is what has up to now been previously unimaginable. Is this belief that an incredibly dynamic group of human beings, who would otherwise have absolutely no interest in connecting with one another, can now come together and deal with each other completely directly, with no other coercive environments like "an office" or some corporate or societal "institution" or platform, with all the consequences that entails...
Now we have a virtual space that brings us all together and allows us to learn from each other, share with each other, and grow together into something unique and brilliant.
This piece was a deep reminder of the magical shit we are doing on here.
We are pioneers.
We are creating history.
Doing something on here which was inconceivable to even put into practice before.
Thank you @imp.unity for putting into words the unicorn that we are riding here.
And there are two people on here that deserve a special mention.
@stellabelle for reminding me of the abundance gene in her first Dtube vid
We have the opportunity here for EVERYONE to thrive and that is not going to happen when we are stingy bastards that hoard onto our $$ and only create and do things that benefit only ourselves.
This is NOT the way to do it.
Creating projects that everyone can benefit from in a healthy and positive way is the way forward.
Create more, share more, everyone is good and happy.
@overkillcoin for having a good chat with me and making me laugh.
I am blessed to have your creative genius in my life and I am already looking forward to the comedy vids you’ll be making (soon) in the future.
I leave you with one thing and one thing only.
It is only by embracing my deep negative shit that I can fully enjoy the happy woah good positive shit.
It’s a ying yang kinda thang.
Here’s to raw openness about the shitty feelings I am having.
Here’s to healing through writing.
Here’s to good people, cos without you,the world wouldn’t such a great place.
BIG love,
Ashley
My LoveProject is @humansofsteemit! Featuring the humans behind the Steemit usernames!
There is beauty in sharing! Thanks @ashleykalila , this is exactly what I needed to read at this moment in time!
I know what you mean about that blue moon energy. I felt so overwhelmed yesterday, like every little thing seemed like such a burden to do. This morning is feeling lighter.
I hoe you are feeling lighter and more hopeful too.
"Thank you @imp.unity for putting into words the unicorn that we are riding here." LOL!
No way! Thank you for the feature! Awww man @rok-sivante really has some fantastic-sounding peeps following him! (And a couple bozos too!) LOL!
I love that quote so much... Steem really is a unicorn. I think one of the problems with Steem is the fact people use it like all these other tools... I think this is so much more... I think in the future whole political speeches and platforms could be built on the underlying technology here...
I mean whole federations of voluntarist communes of sovereign individuals could just like, politick, and trade, and communicate through all the most advanced forms of media... And entire sub-regional and global voluntarist institutions could all be co-operating and working together on top of these kinds of expansive and vast blockchains (or whatever kind of technology comes after quantum sub-atomic blocks get so small and evaporate into another dimension where all possibilities are happening simultaneously)...
I think the sky is the limit with something like that, as long as the community is really into it and really going as wild and imaginative as possible!
If we all get galvanized and start self-organizing ourselves towards actively participating in some kind of great project of a New Internet...
It could be amazing
😂
True. Glad to have you two in the “fantastic” category. :-)
Its really hard to do full time on Steem when you first start! The price goes up and down all the time, plus post rewards are not consistent, so it sometimes used to make me feel crazy.
But I think if you keep going you will get there! Planet Steem is already awesome and its gonna be even sicker in a few months once everybody catches on and realizes what you are up to :-D
You are rocking life, you know. I think it's healthy to be real with your feelings (being bummed) and then transmute that energy into something creatively expressive, like this post of yours. I feel much the same way. Still we're rising and shining, showing up, doing our Work... And it's enough. Rest easy, sister.
Awwww Ashley we are all human and we get these dips to our energy levels. I am no stranger to these especially when I write something and I don't get much engagement.
Its natural for us to feel down, with the move the super blue moon had everyone a bit wonky and a lot of the Steem drama going on.
Yet it is the humans that let us get inspired again. When we see their stories, when we see that they are struggling and how they are trying to get up.
There is a certain beauty in seeing the a human spirit broken and mending itself because they still feel life is beautiful.
Sending you an extra shot of positivity Ashley!
I think there have been some pretty interesting siutuations people are in these past few days. I know it hasn't been comfortable for me, I've had things at work and in my relationshsips that have come up that needed to be addressed, parts of myself I needed to look at and make sure I was being true to myself.
Aside from that there is great turmoil in the financial world, things are weird everywhere, and all the FUD in the crypto space appears to be slowing steemit down a bit. I see people less excited and more going through the motions for these few days, but it is something I think will pass, we just need to keep with it and keep supporting eachother.
It sounds like you are going through a huge change, and when things start going wrong it's easy and normal to feel a bit scared, it's awesome you have such loving supporters, keep working through it, it will all turn out :) Remember to take a breath and a break from the stress to just enjoy life if you can! I know that helps me when I feel worried or doubt myself.
Try being a little more methodical in your approach. Identify the four or five topics/projects that you want to post on and develop it over the course of the week. Write down all your new topics or projects and feature them on a regular basis. Do a little more exploring on steemit into new hashtags. For instance, did you know there is a rather active "beer" community here on steemit. You are in Holland, rumor has it the Dutch make something they call "beer". :) If you are going to make the transition in this great experiment and have steemit provide your primary source of income then map it out and treat like a job, only way more fun! Keep your head up!
I love how you share your thought process, slowly bending the (somewhat) negative into something positive, taking us on that tour with you. It's extremely helpful.
Knuffel,
Vincent
I didn't used to believe the 'blue moon' stuff, until I went through crazy periods (I am a bit crazy in general) which seemed to be way out of the norm. Then I noticed that certain moon cycles seemed to correlate, then I did some brief research and learned about the link between moon cycles and psychology/energy.
The past few days I have had a wild time, following a period of weeks where I have been noticeably more stable. It wasn't until I looked up one night during a walk, that I noticed it was coming to a full moon, then I googled and realized I just have to 'ride' this period.
I hope you are feeling better, now that the peak has passed.
🙌💓
Hi ashley, sometimes i also felt the same way ,when i worked hard for my post but there's no engagement...but i always think on it positively.that through sharing ican teach ,i can learn and i can help .Remember ashley youre an inspiration ,your sharings are valuable and a great help to me..just hold on and keep on steeming :) smile ashley it makes a difference
Hi @ashleykalila! I came across your last @hunansofsteemit post featuring @shadowspub I think this initiative was brilliant of you! I’m still fairly new and I’m in the learning stage of steemit and continue to search out good people I can relate to like you! Whatever this bump in the road is I’m sure you’ll climb over it and get back to your fantastic self again soon, but in the meantime lay low and take care of you! Glad I found you! ✌️
We all go through this at times. In my last block, I only made it through by writing about the block.
By pinning those negative feelings to words I was able to give it less power.
I am not 100% over it, because time constraints make it harder to get into the flow, but what you have done here is excellent.
That's Steemit for you. Hang onto to something strong while the rollercoaster goes up and down -- while you are producing quality content at the same time, lol. @stellabelle is so right about the gift economy that the Steem blockchain makes possible, with the right attitudes and behavior. Here's to lots of upvoting and not hoarding that vote power!