I just want to start of by saying the way you express your emotions through your writing, whether it is in a positive or a negative way, is very inspirational to me. I've been trying to find a stronger way to express myself through writing and seeing your writing getting better over time while you've been on steemit inspires me to do the same.
Now on the topic on how we see ourselves and body image. When we are "growing up" we gain certain ideas about ourselves based on the experiences we have. These experiences can be as simple as someone complimenting or insult us in someway and the us feeling like were like that from then on or it can be a much longer and intricate experience. Whether these ideas become true or not, all of this is not what matters the most; For all of this is just an analyzes of the past and how something came to be.
For me personally, I have never felt the unattractive aspect to myself or my body but I have felt uncomfortable in my body; With that only starting to change very recently. When I do feel this way it feel like there is something physically wrong with my body, even though there is nothing wrong with it. Having the feeling of being tapped in my body and needing to escape but knowing that I cannot.
I've started getting past this by finding one thing I like about being in my body, for me it's my hair. In the past I was so uncomfortable in my body that I wasn't able to fully appreciate it like I do now. So if you can't find anything then create it. What's help me even more recently is waking up by myself each morning or evening, taking off my shirt, and working out while I absorb the sun. Since Ive started doing this I've felt stronger each day and less uncomfortable or "imbalanced" within myself the stronger I feel. This is like your goal that you set which you set for yourself (which you've pretty much accomplished) for paying off your tuition writing.
This goal is the same at its core except its consistently doing something each day that strengthen your being at its core; Causing you to enjoy every function of your body while doing that daily activity. Every breath, every movement and beat of your heart. From your writing it sounds like your are very mentally externalized (like me) in your thoughts. So whatever activity you find that will help you the most, will also help you become more self-centered (centered in self).
Didn't mean to make such a big text wall but I just genuinely would like to help out (just like everyone else commenting) cause I remember when I had similar feelings to what your describing. Wish you the best of luck, cheers on pretty much accomplishing your goal number one. ^_^