Who Am I?

in #life7 years ago (edited)

We spend our entire lives trying to figure out who are we. As a woman, my hormones shift so much, that each week I feel like I am constantly metamorphosing. Like a cycle in my personality. To some that may sound unsteady, but for many I think it is just reality. I see memes on social media that asks if you are a Dorothy, Rose, or Blanche (Golden Girls). Does it really matter? I think we all are pieced together with parts that may be cynical and practical like Dorothy, and at times we may be naive and optimistic like Rose, or just self-absorbed and flirty like Blanche. Our personalities and who we are don't always have to be static.

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I went through something hard about 7 years ago and it changed me. I let go of a lot of friends, or people I acquainted myself with. Through the wreckage, I held on tight to 3 friends. Recently, I was thinking about why I kept these 3 ladies around. What was it about their friendship that I wanted despite wanting to ditch all the others. I thought about who I am around each one of them. It is so different, and my friendship with each of them is so dynamic.
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My best friend is Beth. When we met, I was only 13 and we were both in a harder phase in our lives. We were each's other's saving grace during that time. She makes me want to be a good person. She is so loving and good to others. As much as I'm not the conventional woman, she is so opposite of me in that way. She is great with family, cleaning, cooking, etc. and she makes me want to be better at those things. Plus she is my sounding board daily... and I mean it when I say we talk everyday!
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Then I have a Tasha, everyone needs a Tasha. She is truly one of the few people I know that doesn't ever seem like she questions herself. She doesn't have time. She works harder than a lot of people I know. She is just a get it done kind of person. When I talk to her, she just makes me want to be suck up my pity party and kick life's a**. And it's not because she says those things to me, she is actually quite empathetic, but it's because that is exactly what she does.
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And last, but not least, I have Tiffany. When we see each other, we immediately burst into chatter and laughter. She brings out the fun and rebellious side of me. We met in art class in high school. She was a senior, and I was a freshman, so even after she graduated she would call the school to pretend to be my mother to help me skip school. Together we are artistic, and to some we may be even a nuisance. She helped me embrace a lot of my emotions in my teen years, but she also helped me gain a voice and become confident.
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I guess this all goes to show that we don't have to wear one mask in life. I like how my friends help bring out different parts of myself, and they are all parts of myself that I like. In reality, we should have friends who make us be exactly who we want to be, even if it's in the moment. Life is too short to try and cling to one thing. Instead of trying to subscribe to something, I am just going to accept that life is dynamic, and that is how I want to live it. So, if you get to a place where you are asking "who am I," just try to soak up who you are in the moment and what you like about it. ;)
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Your friends seem lovely, I hope you guys are still able to keep together and keep in contact a lot. A good base of friends is the best way to keep strong. That's one thing I regret about going abroad for such a long time, I have slowly lost touch with a lot of my old friends. I'v made amazing new friends but it's still sad. I hope one day when I move back I'll be able to reconnect with them.

Thanks! When I lived with my mother, I stayed within 10-20 minutes from all of them. However, when I moved in with my husband 5 years ago, it put me further away. I now live 40-50 minutes from them. I know that is not as far away as you and your friends. However, it did make it harder for me to see them as often. We do stay in touch on the telephone, social media, and we do make plans sometimes. We are considering moving further away one day. If we do, I am sure it will put more distance with us, but I will try to keep in touch somehow. I hope you don't mind me asking, but where are you from?

So true! It is also with places and circumstances. I have had a discussion with a co worker a few years back. She had seen me in my freetime at an event about games she didn't expect me to be. Her conclusion was that because of that I was fake. I told her about behaving differently at work and at events but no, she was always the same and I should also be (yes, also with and without alcohol exactly the same). That moment I understood why she was so stuck up.

Indeed friends who can help you bring out parts of your being you like give you something beautiful. By bringing up and living that part you also develop and explore the great things you are. When looked at it from that perspective you see why it is important to be different yous.

I don't think it is wrong to act differently at work than outside of work. I'm sure you still showed similar characteristics of yourself in both places, just toned it down while on the job. Most of us do that. I actually talked about it in one of my podcasts. I think it was the Conflict with Authority podcasts. I mentioned that my Social Psychology professor told us that studies show that the more educated a person is, the more likely they are going to understand how to adapt their personality to the roles they are assigned in life. Sounds like you are the smarter one to me lol.

Hahaha Yes I remember that and I also remembered that situation while you talked about it. And then forgot about her again :)

Yes of course I had still the same characteristics. Just more outspoken, playful and happy. I am more serious and focused when I work. I had to say hi to her three times before she acknowledged my existence on that event. She was heavily flirting with my friend so I left her to make her move (which didn't work). I have learned so much from you :)

I think there is a huge difference than altering yourself for a role in your life, and people who completely change themselves to fit the needs of others. Based off of what you said, you are just trying to fit into your role while you were at work. There is no foul in that. I am glad you feel like you have learned from me. That makes me feel like my steemit posts are worth it. Even if one person likes them lol.

It sounds like you kept the three good ones. :D

Thanks! I agree!

Those are nice friends you have there , I wish I have someone like the one who would call my advisor and skip my school. hahaha That's cool!. It's so nice to have friends who accepted us for who we are and with the same craziness we have. It is like saying " tell me who your friend are, and I will tell you who you are" and "birds of the same feathers flocks together".

Yeah, she would have called pretending to be your mom with her southern accent for you too lol. That is just how she is. She's definitely my rebellious rule breaking friend. Gotta love her though. ;)

I don't know if I have ever fit those stereotypes lol. Most have said I can befriend a stranger. I have friends with so many different personalities and lifestyles, and they have been really different than mine. I'm more selective with my friends now than when I was younger, so I don't make new friends as easily. However, my current friends who I hang out with have a lot of differences compared to me. We hold some similarities that bring us close, but they are their own unique person and I love that about them. I like to collect people different than myself because they bring different things to the table that I enjoy about them. I think the one common theme I have with my friends are they are all down to earth.

That's true friendship right there. The bondage we create with others takes time and experience together. Sometimes it does not have to be about similarities, we may differ in personality, but the fact we know where each other have come from and what we have been through transcends everything else to bringing us closer together. What we show, what we give is what others appreciate in us.

I could not agree more. I love how different each one of my friends are. We are all very different, but I am able to connect with each one of them. I am very lucky.

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