I was thinking the other day that my parents and I have vastly different interests, tastes and hobbies. I mean sure there are some overlaps that everyone likes, but the things were really passionate about are completely different. I was wondering why this is, as with many of my friends, they have very similar interests as their parents. I came to realize that almost all my passions and interests derive from mistakes my parents made.
Logically I think people are more likely to be either exactly like their parents or the complete opposite, so my situation makes sense if analyzed. Much like if your older sibling messes up and gets in trouble, you are less likely to make that mistake because you learn how to avoid it, I think the same thing happened with me. I cant fault my parents for the mistakes they made because they were both raised in pretty dysfunctional households, which ultimately was the situation with me as well.
My biggest passions are probably economics, investing, finance and technology since I often credit the internet as my third parent. While most kids were hanging out or going to parties in high school, I was at home either playing massively multiplayer online role playing games like World of Warcraft, or browsing various forums on technology or finance. I was making mock stock portfolios and building computers when I was 13, while my parents didnt have a single dollar invested in the market or could barely use a computer in their mid 30s.
My parents mistakes lead to a lot of worry in my life, primarily financial. I was always prone to being a nervous person, I was having full on panic attacks at age 12, but the reinforcement of worry by my parents, specifically my mother, never made things easier. My parents made a good living, but took everything out on credit and never invested a dollar. With 4 children, paying back interest on things you cant afford adds up real quickly.
Their lack of financial security lead me to spend my days trying to achieve the security for myself that I so desperately wanted. Even now financial security is what is most important to me. Just being able to have money to exist if everything goes wrong is and has been the goal for me for a while now. I think life is interesting in the way that we deal with things as people.
Everyone deals with things differently and I just happened to deal with things by trying to fix them for myself. I think in many ways I may have missed out on life a bit by going after the mistakes my parents made and not enjoying the things they did correctly, but time will tell how I feel about that. I think were just dealt with a random hand in life and no matter who we are, we need to try and make it the best situation we can.
-Calaber24p
Its admirable how you chose and acted against making the same mistakes. I think it takes a lot of self-reflection and thinking to come out with writing like this. Thoroughly enjoyed it :)
Youre giving me too much credit :) I think it was more subconscious on my end and my interests were turned to areas where my parents fucked up so I dont.
Still a good direction to go in, learn from mistakes right, whether its your own or others :)
I totally relate to your post. People shouldn’t be taken down by their mistakes, they should learn from them and eventually it as well makes them stronger.
Great post!
Unfortunately I dont think my parents have time to fix their mistakes. Im trying to help them out financially, but they needed to start saving long ago.
Well, but here you are, you didn’t fail! Which meant they didn’t fail as well. Right?
Interesting post. I am also opposite to my parents in many ways, but in some situations a get into trouble, specially when I was younger. My parents where were stingy, so when I started to earn money I was spending like crazy:). But most important thing is that we learn from our mistakes.
Lets hope you save some of that now ! :P
I am the same.
In my case, my parents never gave money a lot of thought and in my family we were never poor, but a vulnerable middle class in Venezuela which is an unstable country.
My favorite board game when I was little was monopoly and I think the reason was that I could manage money there and be successful.
Now, I am interested in business and I want to have my own. In my country being an employee is not good at all because they earn very little, right now a normal employee earn less than 10 dollars per month.
So I want to be a entrepreneur and achieve financial independence on my own.
Yeah that is rough, I couldnt imagine living in a country where im sure your parents experienced a lot of wealth into a decline at where it is now. I hope you can reach success :)
I think it's normal for human beings to teach them wrongly, but we have to make a plan for how we do this in our next step from this mistake.
Thanks for sharing an interesting read. Much like you, I too was at home with the additional 'parent' internet. It was at that time, and still is, a beacon of knowledge, and who could resist not taking a bite out of it?
Regardless of the paths we choose for ourselves, it fascinates me how truly powerful biology is - whether we act and behave like our biological parents or not.
All the best
parents are everything to us but sometimes we have a difference with them it is a frequent problem, do not be discouraged about money because I am also not born of the rich but I keep going as I have to do
Something worth to be think and reflect on how we face the mistakes
Thanks for sharing!
Great, helpful and informative post, i will take this to my personal life
Parents mistakes,its painfull 😑
Good Post, Thanks for sharing
"I may have missed out on life a bit by going after the mistakes my parents made and not enjoying the things they did correctly" same here.
such as these posts are very wanted ... thanks for the informations
Almost all of us, say they will not be like their parents,
In the end, almost all of us, very similar to our parents.
In order to decide what shapes relationships with parents at an older age, it is possible to examine childhood by three measures:
The degree of authority - to what extent there were laws, punishments, and prohibitions, the degree of communication - to what extent was openness with parents compared to the need to hide.
The level of independence - to what extent individual and separate opinions were possible, and action according to personal belief. In childhood, the main observation of a parent-child relationship is attachment patterns, that is, if the child feels secure and also responds to his emotional and concrete needs.
In general, as long as the parent manages to do these things and understand things from the child's point of view and to be flexible where necessary, everything is conducted in a proper developmental path.
Of course, one must also consider the family connection, the attitudes that the family members develop and the balance between the roles, healthy and normative.
After you grew up in your parents' home and saw how they are
Deal with the economic issue, do whatever you can not get
Their situation, their decision that you do not want such a life.
I think I understand the main idea behind this post: that you learn from either your own mistakes or from someone else's mistakes. However, I don't fully agree with the idea that everyone is either like their parents OR the opposite.
A person's beliefs/behaviors is simply a result of their own ability/judgement to learn what's good for them vs what's not. For instance, I am always very punctual and manage time well as if it were ingrained in my DNA but my sister is the complete opposite of that. Maybe I, at some point in my life, learned that I need to be punctual and always on top of my chores to be successful while my sister figured there's other things that are more important for her to succeed in life? I don't know.. I guess, it's really us figuring out whether or not developing a certain trait or habit is worth our time and/or will be helpful in your future.
It's interesting to see how it worked out for you though! I always find it amusing how siblings can be so different despite a common upbringing. If you have any siblings, where do they stand regarding this topic? It would be interesting to see the differences or the common grounds..
Now I'm over here figuring out what all I learned vs what all I decided to erase from living with my parents for so many years :)
It is quite often debated whether or not your hobbies come from your parents. Sometimes it is true and sometimes it is not. Parents differ quite heavily from eachother and it is great that you understand where your mother and father made mistakes and how you could improve at it! I think it goes with every mistake your loved ones make - a smart person improves from it. A very nice post nevertheless!
Thanks for your honest mail. I loved to read it. If we do it the same things like our parents do or did, then we're not free. If we do the opposite, we are free neither. Unfortunately, the opposite has nothing to do with freedom. Only when we recognize what we do and what patterns we have, we can recognize and dissolve them in repetition. Today, I am a mother myself. And I understand my parents more because I know that parents always do it the best they can. All the best and Happy New Year
Seems to me that we always try to fix the "mistakes" of our parents. So generations tend to follow a "zigzag" pattern.
Parents strict and conservative? Kids react by being hellions. Kids raised by these hellion parents rebel by being conservative again.
Even more complicated when we throw siblings into the mix, because not only do you want to differentiate yourself from your parents, but from your siblings also.
What is interesting to me about this concept, however, is the reality that we all turn out the way we are in part because of exactly how we were raised. Our journey in life is about overcoming and surpassing our childhood and our parents. So if you want kids like you -- you should probably raise them exactly like you were raised. Otherwise, if you raise them along the lines of who you are now, they very well may rebel by being exactly who your parents ended up being!
I love the enlightening information! I learned fitness and health because of my mother's obesity, and I'm sure there's plenty more.
Thanks for sharing!