In a recent conversation with a good friend, I was remembering some of the things my father use to say to me many years ago. I realize it's quite common to feel nostalgia when talking about our childhood, but aside from missing him as a person, I miss and value the wisdom he always tried to teach me.
A man and his word
This might sound like value for a different time, a different society, but I find this basic truth as powerful as it has always been. Long before society was even close to today’s complexity, everyone seemed to understand the concept of a “man’s word” quite well. I might be accurate in saying that a “man’s word” was the most valuable asset someone could have, and somebody who did not embrace the idea, was seen as an outcast and rightfully so.
In the world of business, social interaction and even relationships however, our word has never truly lost its potential power. To put it bluntly, someone who tries to live a life with a good ethical compass should be very comfortable with the idea of keeping commitments.
Long before societies were a collection of contracts to establish and defend material assets, a man’s word, a promise, a commitment as as valid and effective as the most elaborate of legal document. Today, almost no one sees things this way and as a consequence the attempt to value a promise or commitment becomes the most complex of challenges.
But, It's important to build trust
Among your peers, your business partners and of course with your personal relationships. Understanding or focusing some energy on the subject at hand it's like adding a specialized tool to your belt for exactly this end.
It might seem trivial for me to say that it's important to return a phone call, if you said you were going to call back. If you think the loss occurs in the phone call not happening and the information not being shared, you are only getting half the picture. It's possible the higher cost to the relationship comes in the shape of trust.
The remedy is too simple, always follow through, and as much as it may sound counter intuitive or even negative to say it, to pull this off, to keep all our commitments, we also need to learn when to say no.
Learning to say no
Is always going to be a challenge for everyone. I struggle with this myself enough that is one of the thoughts that I attempt everyday to keep in the forefront of my mind. I have to understand that as much as I would like to do everything, to help everyone, to be in many places at once, the idea that I could ever do so is quite naive and unrealistic.
How many times have you told someone you would take care of an issue, you said yes because you wanted to be nice, but felt embarrassed when you could not deliver? What do you think happened to the worth of “your word” in that occasion?
I’m not making a case to be someone who does not help, or worse, someone who does not want to commit to anything. I’m trying to say in simpler words, that knowing what you can commit to and then doing your absolute best to follow through is the best way I know for building trust.
It’s an everyday practice
And I would like to invite you to give it a try. You might be surprised how much following through with your word impresses people. This might be because it's not that common anymore and its rarity makes it even more precious.
I’ll sign off for now wishing everyone a beautiful and productive start of the week.
Follow - @chbartist
Greetings, chbartist
Really man, saying is not very complicated, because, from an early age, we learned that to receive love we have to fulfill the desire of parents. We transfer this to the people of our coexistence making it difficult to deny any request from them. Until we understand this, we will tend to live within that prison that the absence of the non-cause in our life. For this, we need to have self-knowledge and self-esteem so that we can say, not without feeling resentful.
Thanks for posting and good night !!!!
Thank you @julisavio
Perfect point, you can't be everyone's darling. This is something i just learned in the last few months. Everyone did come with their issues to me, while i just set my own issues on hold. This behavior just let to the growth of my own issues and me just declining everyone. So from now on, i'll just help with things i got space for.
Good article which nailed it!
It goes without saying that trust is one of the building blocks of our society and life as human beings. Without trust, humanity would never have made as much progress as it did in the last two thousand years, or indeed, since the dawn of time.
It is interesting to note that low trust societies and high incidence of poverty go hand in hand, while high trust societies have very low incidences of poverty. That is to say that in a place where the trust which individuals possess is low means that the whole of that individuals society will be worse off.
I am also reminded of a quote from Profession Fukuyama who said
Nice work!!
Thx @kopt33
every human being must have a helpful nature.mutual respect and appreciation of the human ps ne.life must be lived with patience.I am happy to have friends like you.blogs and posts are perfect I love it. Thanks
I couldn't agree with you more on this one. It's also very easy for people to give their word nowadays but never follow through. You know, since childhood I've always valued this as well. I always told my mom that if she promise something then she must deliver. I would rather prefer you tell me up front that you can't do something. Don't promise and then at the end of the day you don't. So yeah, as hard as it may be to say no, but it's necessary. If you say you are gonna do something, then do it. Or don't promise
This is how the phrase talk is cheap came to be.
Giving your word or even casually just saying thing you do not have the intention to follow through is just not how you should live.
I had a room mate once and she used to just say every time there was some little mess or some little issue in the house "well today I am going to clean this up" or "today I am going to dust the rugs" but even after a week nothing was done ever and no one even bothered to ask her why, because everyone knew that this is just cheap talk.
So not only in the important matters, even the slightest little thing in one's life, one should always only utter words carefully.
Nice thought provoking article brother! In present world we are living in a world where everyone is concerned for him/herself only. We need to adopt the policy of 'live and let live'. Also we should not do anything to others which we don't like others to do with us. Life can be simple. Our lack of vision and thoughtless acts are unnecessarily making our life complex. What we need is little introspection in a noiseless room.
Well things are easier said than done so it's just good you watch your tongue
This is a good post
You just taught me something great
Thanks for sharing
This is very encouraging...... We should keep trust
Trust is something we build true love
if you need upvote? see
https://steemit.com/upvote/@shabbirkazipeas/upvote-for-upvote
Sometimes the best way to help other is say no to him/her... and that’s taking in mind that person asked us for help.
Don’t help anyone who doesn’t ask for your help (and obviously can choose, if he/she is in danger do waphat your heart tell you)
That way we can focus in help ourselves and don’t get deception when
others blames us for something they asked for
Reesteming, upvoting and tweeting.
Peace
My father said, the word of man is a document
Very useful article
This is a little work of mine, I hope you like it
https://steemit.com/steemjet/@dhannie/steemjet-photography
You got a 20.18% upvote from @postpromoter courtesy of @chbartist!
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Excelente post, @chbartist.
post that gives education to all to dare to say no if not and say yes if it is true. that's what honesty means. I really like your post sir @chbartist
I think that word has its potential power. I like to read this type of sentence.
I would like to agree with the line "learn to say NO". It is true. In my job, it is important because students would always abuse me if I would not learn to say 'no' to their unending demands. Thanks for sharing. Sometimes, it is good to make a stand.
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Excellent publication and you are absolutely right before the word of a man was something so valuable that you did not doubt if it was true to not. However, there is still a person who maintains that and it is impressive.
Well said bro!! The point were listed out in this write up.. Man must always be able to trust and build trust. Though trust is a very crucial thing nowaday to the extent that nobody has trust in anyone even you dont have trust in youself. So for a man world to be successful he must trust what he can do and try to do it better than he trusted.
Awesome!! great pic.
interesting post. Many people promise without really being sure they can do what they promise. to say that sometimes it is not a bad way seen by many, but it is necessary, within the sincerity
The idea was great, bringing back what must and should be valued. Indeed, nowadays it's really hard to find people with palabra de honor.
me gusta mucho este escrito, soy criado en esas familias de antiguas creencias, mi abuelo siempre le dijo a mi papa que debía tener palabra de hombre y si se comprometía debía cumplir con ese compromiso y así mi padre transmitió esa crianza a sus hijos pero siempre dando ese toque moderno a la sociedad, no enseño a decir que no cuando no debíamos comprometernos para no fallarle a alguien mas o simplemente por agradecimientos,nos decía que es mejor decir que no y explicar los motivos y no fallarle a esa persona, hoy en día sigo practicando esta enseñanza y con tu escrito sigo ratificando. saludos desde Venezuela
This is coming at the right time. Words no longer function as legal documents.
With the filth we download from the television and the internet, what it results to is an atmosphere made filthy by the beige for insincere words and utterances.
The road to cure this is regrettably too far