My goals were to release my anger, make people think I was hero, look tough, and make sure people were being respected. Three of those clearly conflict with the fourth. My goals were incredibly selfish. They were wrapped up in an nice looking altruistic package... but that was a facade.
That's a hard lesson. Many times if we allow our own behaviour to go unexamined, we think we're trying to do one thing, but somewhere inside there's a very different motivation. 👌
Exactly. I just needed motivation to take a step back and examine what I was doing. My wife provided that initial motivation. Then my kids made it easy.