Okay, cool cool cool having a little cry.
Honestly, some days I think I have it all figured out and that this stuff is the absolute way to go. Some days, when I'm down my feels and frustrated with whatever the heck trying to work in a critical co-opetition clusterfuck looks like, I just want to go back to playing loud music for twenty of my friends and writing stories about tripping off mountains into deep lessons and coming home to my dogs.
And the thing is, I have no one to blame but myself. Once a year or so, I recap it all, get this burst of pride, and then spend the rest of the post lamenting what got pushed out by the stuff that made the cut. I know that's the hallmark of a full life and the pressing choice we all have to make as humans, but it makes it no less frustrating. I have piles and piles of unsorted footage that I'm challenging myself to create something around. Let's see how long it takes.
Thank you for writing this. Everyone is always kind, because that's how we're raised to be on the internet, but it's a blessing to see people stopping here to be real about it 🖤
I was never raised to be kind on the internet.
Here's a thought...and strike me down for being Hive's Judas here, but what about what Crim needs? Put it this way: Who DOESN'T need Crim? Everyone here is always going to need you. You are very literally the incarnate representation of Dagny Taggart, able to think and do so much.
This puts you in the paradoxically (and equal parts) fortunate and very unfortunate (and also extremely rare) quantum superposition of being needed everywhere all at once. Most people may not see it, but you are one of the unlucky few who really do have the ability to do all things, really really well, and also to enjoy them, no less! And if I were to wager, likely riddled with an unseen "survivor's guilt" of sorts about it. Which makes matters even worse! It is a blessing and a curse, as I see it. The rest of us morons are lucky to be gifted at one or two things. And to enjoy them and share them enough for a few to appreciate. At best.
I always say, just because you CAN, doesn't mean you MUST.
I wonder just a little bit...what would happen if you DID take a little intentional lunch recess to go where your heart lead? What if Hive and everything else could wait. I would never dare suggest in PUBLIC (such as a comment thread like this one), that you leave the place.
Merely suggesting, especially with the health reboot and all, maybe one could experiment with the idea of being less obligatory about a thing, and more "Dr.'s orders" about things. And Doctor says, maybe it's ok to just relax and enjoy life a little. You owe nobody nuthin. Kinetic energy or no.
A good hard rock and roll, a decent beer, and a few blogs never hurt anybody.
Just my three cents. Cuz I think it's worth slightly more than two.