Sounds like fatherhood is a full contact sport. Best you start cupping them fuzzardly dice when you know you're most likely to be off guard.
Just keep it a secret from them, or they're likely to intentionally target them two trouble makers...ok...I've gone too far...don't know you or your brood. But you do...up to you...'cause the more they get whacked...the sooner you'll be doing it to yourself when unmindful as you flop yourselves onto a chair.
You have been warned...
It is very full contact. I have also never been hit so much in the face. But that doesnt sound quite so interesting :O)