What a pathetic story, please stop feeling guilty of her death, she may have passed on happily that she saw you again, you really need to change environment and allow time to heal you. Sorry for your loss may not make much meaning right because of how you feel but please you need to allow this pass over you. The nightmares are still coming because you vividly habours the whole incidence within your heart. Cheer up my dear, its well.
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Amen dear brother, i appreciate the support.