I think you show extreme amount love and care by thinking what is best for her and your family. The embarrassment is heavy burden to carry while pain is hurting you physically is embarrassment eating you from inside.
I had situation where i had to say goodbye to someone extremely important to me. I know that hospital is place to be at some point, but that's not proper place to say goodbye. I hope you still have your will to fight, for those you love and care.
I am trying my friend, I am so sorry you have had this situation in your life. I am trying to never go to a hospital. Never. again thank you