Hi my friends actually Hello to my family as that is what you are to me. The last few have been quite unbearable when it comes to pain. I am starting to have some serious second thoughts about my ability to keep my fight going. What has been happening in front of my Love and my Babylooo is not fair to her.
Pain is just that, Pain! But the other side effects now are an embarrassment to ones self esteem and ability to feel like a man. It is my job to look after her, take care of her, hold her tight on the stormy scary nights. Not have seizures, crap my pants and look like an idiot. I have 7 broken teeth that the pain is brutal but cannot fix nor is worth fixing when I am dieing anyway. I decided a long time ago to fight the cancer my way after I found the traditional route made me more sick. Chemo was a disaster. It all is actually. I do not want to ever die in the hospital with strangers around like nurses and other patients. No hospital white sheet put over my head. I want to hold my girls hand on my last breath with just the two of us and I realize now that may be asking too much of her.
My energy is so low that I fell down and cracked my head and shoulder. I found out that my bicep has seperated from the shoulder. Cut my eye open, not bad but my Oscar winning face will need some attantion, just kidding.........Seriously though am I asking too much of her, do I actually go to the hopspital and give up to give her peace. I am now starting to think she will forget what I used to look like, be able to do, I at one point had a great business, money to burn not literally but we could splurge on a extra weekend getaway but not only is Cancer killing me it has destroyed her way of life. For the first time I see where she will say I had to put that back at the grocery store as we did not have enough money this month. I feel like such a loser some days. Embarrassed to see old friends. Did I waste her last few years on a shell of a man. If I was gone the life insurance gives her that life she had back. I know the pain she would have as I can tell you this as clear as day.
WE LOVE EACH OTHER MORE THAN THE AIR WE BREATH.
After these last months I know there is a bridge we cross when we die and life is still life, I will remember our love, our bond and wait for her to join me no matter the lemgth of time it takes for her to get to me. Last night was so bad My love had to sleep on the couch. What the hell am I doing? I am starting to think Brian just go and let her live.....Let her love eagain if she finds it........I am tired my friends, my family, my listeners to my venting.
I have become ashamed to be putting her through this. I am so physically and mentally exhausted that I cannot think right. I love you all and Thank you again from my heart for all the support and posts of yours that give me peace in reading........The music, The stories, The advantures, all of it I thank you for making my days better
Ravens Wings and Cancer.
The Wings I seek
The ravens wings spread when it leaves the nest
I fight this cancer and hope to be blessed
They say you find peace from wings of the dove
I don't want peace I want to continue to love
The wings of a eagle so huge provide steady flight
I pray I can remain steady and strong through this fight
Butterflies have wings to fly playfully free
And free from this monster is what I pray I will soon be
Under the wings of the angel we feel protected
Through prayers to God I can feel connected
I will go fight and win this battle I didn't start
On the wings of an angel and prayers from my heart
If I cannot win then please let me grow my wings
And fly so high and hope you all hear the words I sing
I am going to go for now and I wish you all health, peace, love and life..................
@briancourteau
Brother.....friend.....It truly saddens me to understand where you are coming from with everything going on. I understand the pain and the battle, it is not easy, but please Brian, never give up on your fight. I know sometimes, or even more times than not, it feels like an uphill battle and that there is no point, but the fight you endure is what defines you my brother. You are a strong man, an incredibly strong man, and you have a heart of gold, which I can personally tell from our conversation and by reading your poetry. You are a fighter and I will bet my bottom dollar that you always have been. Keep fighting man, even when shit seems bleak and cloudy, just know that you are a strong man and it is your responsibility as a husband, brother and friend to maintain the strength to continue on. You got this man, do not let this shit conquer you mentally. It may have a hold on you physically, but it can NEVER take your heart, mind and soul from you.
As you and Lynn know, I am here for you both in any way possible. @fundthefuture is launching at the end of this week and you will be the first series of features. I will do anything and everything in my power to provide moral support and any kind of aid. You just have to agree to not roll over for that shit. Give it Hell, not the other way around. Fight brother, even when you feel you have no fight left, remember your wife who loves you like no other and everyone out here in your corner. Fight!
We here at SGG have nothing but love for you guys. Brian, please, feel free to join in the group and post your poetry in the promo rooms and such. Let us be here for you my friend. I hope to see ya in there!
https://discord.gg/AkzNSKx
Thank you my brother. I am ans always have been a fighter but it is the hardship on my girl that now makes it harder. I am trying to continue and trying to win but when your girl has to go without groceries at times or see me in such despair. I see the sadness in her eyes at the pain I am in. I thank you for what you are doing here and more thank anything I thank you for being her friend, her ears, and I pray you all never stop as she is the most wonderful, unique and caring individual you could ever meet. I am scared not of dieing my brother, not of failing but of leaving her without support. I now know in my heart she has it all right here with you all. I will look at the SGG but my energy is so little these last days. Thank you my friend for all the words and you seem to read me well.
Brian... Man, I cant even begin to act like I know what youre going through. I cant fathom the pain youre in, both physically, mentally and emotionally. I cant tell you to keep fighting, to be strong. All I can truly do is to tell you to take in every day like its your last. To love and allow yourself to be loved. To realize, even though theres not much strength left in those bones, your strength in the past will always be remembered. Please know, you are thought about and prayed for by many many people daily, not for life but for peace. Know that you did everything right. Know that even though you will eventually leave this hell, the love Lynn has for you will never die. Know that we will all be here, open armed when that dreadful day will come and Lynn wont have to go through this alone. When that raven comes to take you home, please go peacefully knowing you lived, you loved and you fought a good fight. Many many many love, hugs, thoughts and prayers for you and your beautiful wife.
you have made me cry Smilie....I am so afraid for her not me dieing. We have been a 24/7 couple and I dread her lonliness. We play games on each other well we did alot but not so much now because of my pain. But please on halloween she is so terrified of clowns. I mean really........remember that and take on my challenge to scare her someway here, it will make her laugh I promise
<3 You got it buddy! Sorry Lynn, the promise has been made! ;)
Come'on @smylie2005!! Clowns for godsakes??!! For the love of all things holy, keep the damn clowns to yourself haha
I appreciate the heads-up though ;)
LOL!! Hey, its his wish, who am I to break that!? The man said he wants clowns for you for Halloween, than you getting the damn clowns on Halloween! ;) Now, are you more scared of like IT or like birthday clowns?! Or both?? I can do both!
I always had a healthy apprehension towards clowns but then I read IT when I was in high school and that did it for me. ALL clowns freak me right out! Damn you and @briancourteau for telling you that :)
Oh, I am so sorry to hear that the pain is becomming to much too handle. Your fight has been incredible and there is no denying that love between you and your beautiful wife. The time to give up is something difficult for even me to discuss. You have fought an incredible fight and given all of us a new way to look at life.
It's very difficult indeed, and it's something I wish I didn't have to discuss at all. Thank you from Brian and I; your support is very much appreciated!
Never give up Brian. I truly believe there is a reason behind everything even when it seems there just can't be. Sending thoughts and prayers of love and comfort your way.
thank you my friend and I hope you travel every where happily, safely and to your hearts content. keep the wheels straight and you will discover beauty whereever you go
I am certain that I will. My life has been enriched just by being a very small part of your story. Be well my friend.
same . vice versa. Thank you
Been there . I have learned its the wrong answer . The pain it brings is far worse than anything else
There will come the time to go to the hospital . It will relieve some of the burdin on her . When that time is should be discussed . The worst thing would be to go in and out of the hospital .
No one can tell you how things should go . You have to make the decisions honestly between the two of you.
There are no right or wrong answers
That is so true to a point
NO one, other than a man could endure what your going through . You are that man .
You're response is perfect @wolfhart. Thank you so much for always being here (even before me this time:)
well this is hard to respond too, lol. I promise you no hospital even if it means self medication.............I refuse to go that way after I have suffered all this time. They say they cangove me morphine if I check in. well thay can fuck off. sorry for swearing. you my friend I thank you for the support you have shown me
Always
I did the morphine bit as an outpatient . Don't worry about the swearing . The stuff that came out of my mouth caused my wife to get baptised , 3 times . :) (just between you and me I lost all my teeth , keep that between us I have an image to keep up)
you hang in there and I'm always here
Oh Brian I have been watching over you and Lynn and you simply cannot give up now.
Yes what she is going through is hard. Yes it is difficult that you are going through a pity party. I know it because my sister went through the very same thing and she felt that if she was gone that everything will return to normal.
Well the thing is if you are gone then things will not be the same. You won't be there.
Hold on till you can, hold on to the life you have with her, breathe that last breath together with her holding your hand and knowing that she loves you with all her heart.
We are here to send you some positive energy. You will get through this and know she loves you for all your strength and all your weaknesses.
Oh @maverickinvictus, now it is your turn to make me cry. You understand and and see how difficult this all is, but I believe you are right, things will never be the same when he is gone. Brian and I both appreciate your positive energy, kind words, support and love. I see that it makes a difference when Brian is reading these...so thank you from the bottom of my heart for all you are doing.
I am pretty sure I will not get through this easily but I am so content for the friends she has here and I know you will give her the comfort she will need. Thank you from my heart
This is so unbelievably touching @briancourteau. I know your fight has been painful but try to take it day by day and seek any pain killers. Do as much as you can to stay with your daughter as long as you can. I know you want to leave her behind the life insurance, but just try holding on. This post was very touching. I need to get my physical done and check ups to monitor my health. I appreciate you sharing your deeply personal experience.
Thank you but too let you know its my wife I speak off so you can quickly edit yoye comment. Still it means the same to me your words. Thank you again
Hang in there! Positive thoughts as your body heals!
Best wishes to you. It must be very difficult and I'm sorry for the pain. Here's a bigger upvote to help with the bills.
Brian is completely overwhelmed with all of this right now, so I'm reponding to you on our behalf. We are both so very thankful for your continued support and generosity. Thank you doesn't even come close to expressing how we feel.
And from me, I have to say thank you for helping him realize that there are so many people who care about his existence. He went back to bed this morning a shell of a man, but I can see some renewed purpose again in him, even though I know he feels like a burden to me. To say this is a trying time is pure drivel, but it is, and just know that you are lightening that load for me with everything that you are doing. xx
Hey, @donkeypong, Thank you for helping Brian and Lynn! I only know them from Steemit, but they have become like family to me, so it means a lot that you would help them out. Thank you!
@donkeypong, on behalf of the community as a whole, we want to thank you for your compassion towards Brian's battle. Thank you, this speaks volumes for your character and heart. I am following you now (in a non creepy way lol). Hats off to you for doing that, seriously!!!
What an amazing person you are for helping them like that.
The power of clicks.
i see you help brian and lyn, you good job for my friend, I hope God will repay your kindness. thanks very much Sir
You are obviously a man of few words when it comes to this, so thank you again for your support and your appearance here. It means the world to us!
Thank you for your kindness and help to people in need.
Thank you so much for your kindness, @donkeypong. Truly appreciated.
Thank you so much Tom
I watched my husband go thru the same thing and I'm so sorry for both of you! Staying strong for each other is about all you can do.
Aww @sunnieside, again, I'm so sorry that you can relate. Thank you for your words; you know there's not much more that can be said.
"I remember back when I used to be a man!"
"I remember back when I was human!"
"Some days I think about eating my gun!"
These were often said by my dad over the last 20 years of his life as the pain and drugs and surgeries ate away at him. Each year his feelings of worth degrading, feeling like he was little more than a weight around the neck of those of us who loved him so. The anniversary of his passing came not long after I joined here, and I wrote a post on it. I hope you will read this just so you can understand how much those of us who love another would give for just another minute, another day. Just one more year.
https://steemit.com/life/@practicalthought/the-thorns-of-joy
I know that right now the pain, the seizures and all the ramifications are overwhelming. And it is perfectly within your right to decide your course. But please do not mistake momentary frustrations over hardships to mean that each more moment you fight on is not a gift for those who love you. Please do not be ashamed as my father was. I know it is selfish, but if I could I would have him here still being ashamed with me to this day.
smile. I'm sure that would make him happy too. Let that happen whenever it happens; only then will it be the right time.Thank you for this @practicalthought; you are so right, every minute is a gift I treasure. I read the post about your father, and I'm sorry. I'm sorry you are suffering, I'm sorry that time hasn't lessened the blow. People say "time heals all wounds", but I think time just softens it, to the point where, like you said in your post, you can remember your father with memories and
I truly want to answer you but your post is still going through mty head like a turbine, I understand and agree at times but I have to also face the facts in my own sub-concious. Be in touch my firned. I read the previous post. Your parents were good looking people and I am sorry for your loss.
Thank you for the kind words on my parents. I will continue following you, and understand that sometimes we have a conflict inside that makes no answer feel right. Thank you for allowing me to speak so freely.
I am here for as lond as I can be to listen to you speak freely and be you.....My ears are open
@briancourteau I think you and @lynncoyle1 have come to learn how much I care about the 2 of you. I wish I could take the pain away. I wish you the peace you both seek. You still need each other. There's a reason you're still with us. So you're not going to be winning Miss America this year. I bet you're filling someone's heart with joy, love and laughter. I know it's hard right now and realistically it's probably not going to get better. The love you to have for each other is what you need to focus on. Sorry, you're stuck with her. I know you want her to go off and be happy, if she left she'd be so miserable. I know she has the boys...it's not the same as you as the memories and actually touching and holding you. There is a part of most women, the want to take care of those they love no matter what it is. I know she doesn't want to see you in pain either. I imagine she feels so helpless right now.
I know it sounds crazy if they want to give you morphine and that would help ease the pain, do it. Nothing saying you have to take the full dose. Take just enough to keep it bearable. I know that stuff knocks you silly, but if you can ease the pain just a bit it would be a lot of pressure off of both of you. I don't blame you a bit for the no hospital. I would want the same, in fact it is something my husband I have discussed in the past. I don't want to run up unnecessary bills. I don't want anyone to watch me die lying in a hospital bed. I don't want that to be everyone's last memory of me. I know you don't want Lynn's last memory of you to be this. From my perspective, it will be a very small part. I'm sure she's going to focus more on what you mean to her than anything else. Hang in there 💟
Thanks Lynns Pal ....lol.........I really am thankful she has you all here and I am still fighting just growing more weary and exhausted..I cannot have morphne unless I go nto hospital........Anyway thanks for the words and thoughts and I think of you often as well.
Thank you @tryskele! It's amazing how we can care for each other after such a short time knowing each other, but this story of ours seems to have brought you to us, and for that I am eternally grateful.
No, Brian may not be winning a beauty pageant haha, but he's still beautiful in my eyes, and you seem to understand it all so perfectly! Thank you for trying to convey that to Brian !
I believe paths are meant to cross at certain times, whether for support, to teach us a lesson or fill a hole we didn't know we had. I think the best part is, through a forum like this it's raw and real. No pretense. I am very grateful that the 2 of you have come into my life too. <3
Brian, I see so many familiar names visiting both you and Lynn. Please get strong for our Lynn. You both are in our hearts.
I try my frriend
Those aren't easy decisions to make. It's tough to know what to do, but you also know that you love @lynncoyle1 very much and that she loves you very much too! It's not so much about what you can do for her, but who you are. You're her man, so even when you can't do the things you'd like for her, she's still there by your side because it's where she fits.
I'm still incredibly impressed with how both of you are handling all this.
understand completely. It's where I fit and it's where Brian fits, and I really don't think I will ever fit again like this as long as I live.Thank you @themanwithnoname; you
I feel the same way about my wife, so I know it must be one of the worst things in the world for you both to be going through. I also know that it's not about performance, it's not about what you can get, it's about loving that person and wanting what's best for them regardless of their limitations, shortcomings, failures, problems, whatever. They were put in your life to be loved, so you do it! It becomes more natural than not loving them because they are that important. It's a place that's free of judgement, condemnation, or hate. There's peace and safety in knowing where you belong. I'm really glad you have each other in this difficult time.
Thank you my friend and when I say that I mean it, thank you MY FRIEND.......You have made me see that my girl will be ok with the people here. This platform to me is the most positive almosphere I have ever witnessed. You know back home to teach my stepsons respect @lynncoyle1 and I would make us as a group make hundreds of sandwhiches and get large flasks of coffee and head to the bad part of Vancouver. There in all hours we would walk and feed the homeless plus any clothing we had to spare. I found out that the boys did it again on there own. I feel now that my legacy is complete. No bloodline to carry on but the best two sons I could ever have asked for. My love will forever be there and what I learned from my Dad moves along. Thank you for letting me vent..........
You're welcome, my friend! There are a lot of positive people here. I'm glad that I can help encourage you and her.
That's awesome that you guys would do that! There are so many people in difficult circumstances and oftentimes they appreciate the help. It's not always easy to ask, but when someone shows up with food and clothes, it can be a huge blessing. That's great to hear that the boys are carrying on the legacy. It sounds like they're both squared away men. You should be really proud. :)
I'm happy to listen to your thoughts! Feel free to share them.
I am sure you have heard things said about "being in the moment" and those things are true — all we have is the present moment. Your own beautiful wife has said, "every minute is a gift I treasure." So, give her those moments, for that is all she truly needs right now.
A few years ago, I was in her exact situation, so I know what I am talking about.
You said, "It is my job to look after her, take care of her, hold her tight on the stormy scary nights." Those are the things that might be true in a perfect world. But, our world is far from perfect, and our "worlds" change constantly with each passing day.
You are her world, and she is your world, and all you have are those moments. Give them freely and take her gifts-of-moments freely, without any expectations, without any regrets, without any tears for how things "should" be. Just let them be, as they are, in their sweet simplicity. 💖
Thank you for the wise words.....so true......I cherish every breath I share with her
I think you show extreme amount love and care by thinking what is best for her and your family. The embarrassment is heavy burden to carry while pain is hurting you physically is embarrassment eating you from inside.
I had situation where i had to say goodbye to someone extremely important to me. I know that hospital is place to be at some point, but that's not proper place to say goodbye. I hope you still have your will to fight, for those you love and care.
I am trying my friend, I am so sorry you have had this situation in your life. I am trying to never go to a hospital. Never. again thank you
With everything that has happened, and that will still happen, honest to say, you have won the right to give up. And yet it is the one right, if you ask me, that you must turn down.
Life is like a track race, your part is to run as far as you can get. Leave it to the umpire to be the one who calls time on it, at his own time!
As always, my best wishes.
Thank you @mirrors! Those are some wise words my friend. I appreciate you coming over here too :) Thank you from the both of us!
I am happy to always. My regards.
There is never an easy way to say goodbye. All I can think is cherish what time you have and let go when you need to.
I have watched this struggle from the sidelines before, fight while you have fight left and never feel like you are a burden. Love is love, the tether between existence. You will be together again.
I truly believe all you said here and thank you
That brought tears to my eyes. Which isn't as easy to do these days. The poem was very beautiful too. I'm sorry to hear things are so difficult. I don't really believe in prayers but I'll send you positive thoughts. I hope things improve for you. Much love.
Thank you my friend..........You were one of my first contacts on steemit and we have stayed connected, that means alot. Thank you
You're welcome. Thank you for sharing your presence with me and everyone else. <3
There's nothing I can say, I believe you're a fighter and the right man for @lynncoyle1 as she's for you. Both of you are amazing. Such a beautiful message, don't give up now! God bless you.
Thank you for just being @lynncoyle1 friend.....
Thank you @cicisaja from both Brian and I. We appreciate your love and support very much!
very sad story. Made me cry
Thank you @yokondap!
They say true love conquers all, but in life nothing is fair and the rules are easily bent. I am happy that both of you got to experience that true love bond that will withstand time. Some people never do. Each one of your posts ends is filled with love and pain and sadness. Maybe too much pain.
I can not relate totally to your pain or your fight, but I could understand the feeling of guilt that you experience for putting your partner into the caregiver role. I have been there. And because of it, I am telling you to not give up the fight. I never met any of you but from what I gathered your partner @lynncoyle is an incredibly strong and amazing woman.
Thank ypu for your words and thoughts, I am really truly blessed to have her and the love we share. It makes this fighy worth it
you must be strong friend, the temptation is only for people who are able and strong, everything will be fine for you and your wife
thanks
you are welcome Sir
All looks bad for my friends @lynncoyle1, but that's the life we have to go through, we are just trying and god who will, all will pass, remain patient for trials and everything will be fine..
Thank you @azyref! Brian and I appreciate that very much :)
What bravery to go through what you're experiencing, and what bravery to share it all with us. You are truly a Light, Brian. You are NOT alone, on this side of the veil or on the other side. Much love to you and Lynn.
you are all my light. Without you all here and me knowing my love will be ok here with the support is what keeps me going
Community is a wonderful thing to lean into.
Brian, I don't have any words of wisdom... But I will tell you one thing, she will never forget the best things about you. So have no worries about that. No matter what happens today or tomorrow, she will remember fondly all the wonderful days you had together! So fear not, your love and memories will sealed in her mind forever!
My Friend. You are so much in my thoughts as I am sorry you are suffering with the sciatica pain. I know what you say it is just a crappy feeling I have when I feel like this. I only hope you get well soon and that you and your Mom have many cool movie nights together. You are one of the best people I have had the pleasure of meeting, You r help, wisdom and honestly is secomd to none. We are frineds in this life and I will make sure in the next........I look forward eo many talks and chats my firend......Thank you
My pain is nothing compared to what you are going through... I'm touched that you would even think at all about it... I hope you get your own pain under control and I respect the hell out of you for how strong you've been. I could hear some doubt in your post, but you should know that you've been as strong a man as anyone I've ever seen. So don't think that, you have endured more than most people could even think about baring.
I think about it because you are a true friend to me. Period and no matter where, when or what, if you ever need me and I can do it , I will..............
Sleep well and get that pain in order. Lynn says its a bitch to fly to mexico in pain LOL
lol... yes I better get myself healed ;) ... I hope you sleep well too Brian and I'm wishing you a fantastic day tomorrow that you can enjoy :D
just ... god damn it. stay strong. beat that sob and get well
I'm with you 100% @incognitoct. Let's hope and pray that's the case. Thank you so much from both of us!
Such a heart-touching story to read about the difficulties and deep pain you pass thru to fight cancer. You have my hugr support. Never give up. Never say never. You are no idiot, no looser, no failure. You are courage, a victor and source of inspiration to others.
Thank you @focusnow from Brian and myself. Your support means the world to both of us!
Reading this made me feel emotional. You both are so brave to put your stories out there and fight together. Your love is so beautiful and pure. I'm sorry to hear about your state. Please keep fighting and together you get stronger!
Thank you very much for your kindness @julimattos! I hope you are right !!
I will not pretend to know your pain. As individuals we process things differently and feel pain quite differently. But pain is still the shared Human Experience. It shakes us all. It makes us want to leave here. It makes it impossible to see any of the good that we do or bring. the fact of the matter is... Even when we are in the most pain, we can still be the brightest thing someone's day. Even when we can only see ourselves as a burden, the next person is only thinking of how grateful they are to simply have us. I hope the next time you feel this way... You are reminded of how many people love you just for being you, regardless of what you're going through. I pray that you get a break from misery and that it doesn't come soley in the form of death. From one chronic pain sufferer to another. Please know my thoughts are with you. Thank you for sharing your story and your beautiful words
PS. It is none of my business how you heal yourself. After losing two people to cancer... I would hope that you were able to find natural remedies. Rick Sinpson Oil has proven healing properties at a cellular level. My apologies if that sounds intrusive
I work hard and take care of myself as best as can and Thank you for the word sand ideas. always appreciatted. I thank you all
Hi Brian, it's very hard the process you're going through and feeling distressed and in many desperate moments it's "normal". I know that some of us can't do much while away from you, I am an orthopedic surgeon and I have been able to help many people to get out of critical states, even people who one day considered themselves healthy the day after an accident had to have their limbs amputated. It's not easy to mourn any illness, much less when you don't expect it. As a doctor you never get used to seeing so much suffering, you end up having a lot of empathy and you get sad like I did with this post.
Despite being a doctor and seeing a lot of misery in my country, there are people dying who do not have enough money to pay for chemotherapy, even when the surgeries are almost free, the high cost of the drugs does not allow them to reverse a disease that may have been so at the time.
From here I want you to know that I give you my encouragement of support, and if you need any help that is within my reach do not hesitate to contact me. Your friend. Dr. Maizo
Thank you so much Dr. I know your specialty well as in my past I played a pro sport and actually fractured C5-C7 and had clowards fusion. I also tore both biceps and have had 17 surgeries on my shoulders including shoulder replacement. The pain then wil a halo on my head for 6 months plus alot of therepy was nothing comapered to this. I will with your encouragement continue to fight the fight....Thank you for your words. I will hit you up a vote when my voting power regains
You know you have 100% my support, if you need me... Tell me! I did my last post recently and dedicated it to you my friend. 😊 Be Strong!
You guys sure do know how to make a woman cry, in fact a grown man cry too when I show this to @shai-hulud. I think of your guys daily and wonder how you are both coping today, I can't imagine the pain you must both be feeling. I know you guys will meet again as you are soul mates and true love like that transcends all barriers. xxx
Thank you,,,,,going to respond later. yours has thrown me a bit. need to think
There is no need to respond, it's hard to find things to say somedays. I just realised I wrote the above comment with the @asapers instead of my personal account. Joy's of multi accounts, the sentiment is the same. I do hope you're having a good day today.
Dear Brian I could not imaging what you are going through but I do feel it because it happened to one of my family member.
I want to share with you how I learn to use qigong for self healing, but I know it helps. The method is simple, keep telling your body system you are recovering, ignore all negative thoughts and turn that into positive.
Have faith and you will get over it soon
God bless you
@lynncoyle1
I am sorry for your family too. I am ok amd thankful of all your friendshipa
thank you and like I mentioned, stay positive with your thoughts
Get well soon
God bless you
I wish i could help you both!! The love you share is obviously so real, I'm over here in tears! You both are showing this whole platform what love is, what compassion is, what community is. I pray that all of your pain will ease up and allow you to focus on the life you both shared before the cancer came there will be no other love like the love you both share, not even close! I pray that when you lay your heads down to sleep that you hold one another and are able to sleep in peace without pain only love! Much love to you both!!❤
been so tired. sorry for late response. Thank you so much my friend. I am still ov erwhelmed by you all. i will write you soon ok........hugs
No words can express how painful and trying it must be for you and your family @briancourteau @lynncoyle1. Sending lots of love and prayers to you. God bless
thank you so much..........i am grateful beyond words
@briancourteau I'm not sure words can do much to take the pain away, but I hope it would encourage you to keep fighting when you feel you have nothing left. May the Lord shower you with grace, and strength; letting you find tremendous comfort in every ray of hope, multiplying it till you are held in a sea of love and light.
Thank you so much @kchitrah from both Brian and I. We really appreciate your kindness and your prayers!
Warm hugs. Xx
Black cumin seeds / oil
Raw honey
Real cinnamon
Turmeric
Bee pollen
With some orange juice freshly squeezed/ vitamins C.
will give it a try but it better tatse good lol
Tastes great ! I eat it ! Real food heals make believe food does not !
It always makes me a bit sad to read your story. This time is the worst ever. As it looks like really have entered the last phase. And thats the most heavy one. I'm afraid I can't say anything to cheer you up. But I wouldn't be me if I not at least tried.
The best I can come up with, is when your fight is real tuff, close you eyes and think about the love of your life. Ask her to do the same. And then you will see each other like it was in the good old days. Keep day dreaming as long as necessary to live towards the moment where you will have the strength to have fun and give her a hug.
Always keep dreaming about better times!
sorry my friend.........I do not want you sad..............I dream and ream every day my friend....I have the perfect girl.....
Luckily I was already happy again. And that was because you had a good day.
Keep dreaming about your girl!
Of you would dream about me, you wouldn't get any sleep. All the nightmares would wake you up all the time 😋😜
I think it’s amazing that you have her by your side. I think it’s amazing that she wants to be there for you every step of the way.
I thought I found the one years ago , and three children and many years of marriage later , he wasn’t. Then I really thought I found the one. The one that looked at me with love. The one that promised to wait for me to figure out my life. The one that promised to always be there for me.
But before I found out about my cancer , he decided he couldn’t wait anymore. He met someone else and decided to follow his heart elsewhere.
At first I was heartbroken. I still am. But then when I got diagnosed, I thought that maybe that’s why it didn’t work. It wasn’t. Meant to be bc he wasn’t meant to be there for me thru this all. Maybe it’s unfair to him.
And sometimes I think what about me? I always put everyone else and their feelings ahead of mine. What about me being put first for once? Why can’t I have someone by my side who is going to be my support ? Share my love with ?
🤷🏻♀️ I dont know , but be greatful you have someone’s to share that love with. Be greatful you have someone in your life that wants to be there . You have someone in your life that loves you so much she doesn’t want to miss a second of the good OR the bad.
God bless the two of you and enjoy every second of the love you have. I can only wish for that kind of ❤️ love. I just don’t think it’s written in the stars for me .
i put a little in your wallet and will spread the word my friend
That is so kind of you. Thank you .
So I just stumbled upon this article a friend of mine shared with me... I'm seriously short of words and also feel like crying, because I know what it takes to be in that type of situation..... One thing I'll advice you to do now is to be strong and prayerful, be the man you are, and believe the pain is coming to an end soon.... Yours faithfully @jamesmovic
I do not know what to say, other than that I am sending positive thoughts your way, and that you and @lyncoyle1 are often in my thoughts.
Congratulation briancourteau! Your post has appeared on the hot page after 77min with 14 votes.
Uncomplicated article. I learned a lot of interesting and cognitive. I'm screwed up with you, I'll be glad to reciprocal subscription))
I know you're probably just some bot, but this is inappropriate. The man is fighting cancer and talking about the struggle and you're posting that spam on here. Not classy.
Thank you @themanwithnoname xo
You're welcome. Can I help with anything?
Just your love and support...exactly what you've been doing. Oh, and your prayers...pick that one up a bit if you can :)
Yeah, I'll spend some extra time tonight. I'll ask my buddies to pray again as well.
I thought you were replying to my reply to Brian. I forgot I had left two on this post.
I got so upset about it that I went to his page and downvoted one of his posts that was going to pay out tomorrow. I accidentally did a 100% downvote, so the post disappeared. Ha ha. Don't mess with Brian!
I'm half laughing and half crying with that one!
agree