"I remember back when I used to be a man!"
"I remember back when I was human!"
"Some days I think about eating my gun!"
These were often said by my dad over the last 20 years of his life as the pain and drugs and surgeries ate away at him. Each year his feelings of worth degrading, feeling like he was little more than a weight around the neck of those of us who loved him so. The anniversary of his passing came not long after I joined here, and I wrote a post on it. I hope you will read this just so you can understand how much those of us who love another would give for just another minute, another day. Just one more year.
https://steemit.com/life/@practicalthought/the-thorns-of-joy
I know that right now the pain, the seizures and all the ramifications are overwhelming. And it is perfectly within your right to decide your course. But please do not mistake momentary frustrations over hardships to mean that each more moment you fight on is not a gift for those who love you. Please do not be ashamed as my father was. I know it is selfish, but if I could I would have him here still being ashamed with me to this day.
smile. I'm sure that would make him happy too. Let that happen whenever it happens; only then will it be the right time.Thank you for this @practicalthought; you are so right, every minute is a gift I treasure. I read the post about your father, and I'm sorry. I'm sorry you are suffering, I'm sorry that time hasn't lessened the blow. People say "time heals all wounds", but I think time just softens it, to the point where, like you said in your post, you can remember your father with memories and
I truly want to answer you but your post is still going through mty head like a turbine, I understand and agree at times but I have to also face the facts in my own sub-concious. Be in touch my firned. I read the previous post. Your parents were good looking people and I am sorry for your loss.
Thank you for the kind words on my parents. I will continue following you, and understand that sometimes we have a conflict inside that makes no answer feel right. Thank you for allowing me to speak so freely.
I am here for as lond as I can be to listen to you speak freely and be you.....My ears are open