I am sure you have heard things said about "being in the moment" and those things are true — all we have is the present moment. Your own beautiful wife has said, "every minute is a gift I treasure." So, give her those moments, for that is all she truly needs right now.
A few years ago, I was in her exact situation, so I know what I am talking about.
You said, "It is my job to look after her, take care of her, hold her tight on the stormy scary nights." Those are the things that might be true in a perfect world. But, our world is far from perfect, and our "worlds" change constantly with each passing day.
You are her world, and she is your world, and all you have are those moments. Give them freely and take her gifts-of-moments freely, without any expectations, without any regrets, without any tears for how things "should" be. Just let them be, as they are, in their sweet simplicity. 💖
Thank you for the wise words.....so true......I cherish every breath I share with her