This one is really hard, one word to try to eliminate from your conversation is the word "but", it is a negation and negates everything that you said before it, try replacing "but" with the word "and" and people will be much less defensive and hear more of what you say. for example we often hear people say "I support the second amendment but" and then they follow it with some foolish gun control proposal. They lost me at "but".
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