Communicating is not that easy, and we all say things that are interpreted in a different way than what we intended. TalentSmart tested the lever of emotional intelligence (EQ) in over one million people and they discovered that social awareness is missing in many of us.
There are a few phrases that smart people avoid, and we should to. Instead of using these expressions, here is how you can replace them.
You look tired.
Tired people are already grumpy and have problems focusing. Telling them they look tired only makes it worse. Instead, you could ask them “Is everything alright?”.
You shouldn’t assume how someone is feeling, you should ask them. More importantly, they will see that you’re concerned and preoccupied instead of being rude.
Wow, you lost so much weight!
Such a comment implies that you’re criticizing them. Telling someone he/she lost weight is like telling them they didn’t look good before. Replace this phrase with “You look amazing!”, it’s a compliment that’s easy to take.
You were too good for he/she, anyway.
When someone breaks up with their partner, this comment implies that he/she doesn’t have a nice taste in choosing partners and that he or she made a mistake when falling in love with their ex. If you want to give support without making them feel bad, you could say “It’s her loss”.
You always…” or “You never…
There’s no person that always does or never does something. It’s not all just black and white. This message will make people be defensive, and you probably don’t want that. Instead, say “You do this pretty often”.
You look great for your age.
I don’t think I have to explain why this is rude. Simply say “You look great”.
Good luck!
Okay, it’s not a bad thing to wish someone good luck. But what if there was a better way of doing it? If you really want someone to know you want the best for them, tell them “I’m sure you can do this!”. It’s so much more personal.
It’s up to you.
This kind of expression shows that you’re indifferent. Try replacing it with “I don’t have a strong opinion on this”.
Well, at least I didn’t…
This phrase is an aggressive way of commuting the attention away from your mistake. Just say “I’m sorry”. Admitting your mistakes will prevent a lot of conflicts.
In day by day conversation, there are small things that make the difference. Try these suggestions when you talk to other people and you’ll probably be amazed by their positive impact on you social life.
Don't forget to upvote, resteem & comment.
Salut Ionut!
De ceva vreme ma surpinzi placut cu postarile(blogurile) tale... Bravo!
Sunt din ce in ce mai reusite si ma motivezi si pe mine sa incep sa postez!😉
Sa ai o seara super faina!
Multumesc, ma bucur ca iti plac!
There are many problems that we face, because of a non-assertive communication, in this world of stressed people, living against the clock, some expressions are understood according to the state of mind. if we only learned a little to leave our heavy load of assumptions and live a little lighter, we would avoid more problems than they think; Yes because of the suggested phrases I think the root of the annoyance will always be the assumption. we should not suppose that we were tried to say or not, accept the comments, the positive ones, we apprehend them for themselves and the bad ones simply have to be discarded.
excellent post @jwolf ...
Wow this is great food for thought. I've actually had some of these phrases cause a negative reaction from people and learned not to use them again.
Thanks for sharing! @journeyfreedom
The you look tired phrase got to me. This is something I use on a regular basis without even knowing it had a negative meaning.
Thanks for the enlightenment @jwolf
This one is really hard, one word to try to eliminate from your conversation is the word "but", it is a negation and negates everything that you said before it, try replacing "but" with the word "and" and people will be much less defensive and hear more of what you say. for example we often hear people say "I support the second amendment but" and then they follow it with some foolish gun control proposal. They lost me at "but".
I feel tired.
Why?
joke
I am scared
take two aspirin and call me in the morning..
Give me your number. You have to teach me that cool english accent
This is an important aspect of life that we. Tend to neglect
Thanks for the enlightenment
@jwolf
Wow... This is enlightening... I can't believe I made so of these silly mistakes. Thanks for the information 🙌🙌🙌
well in the conversation all is in the flow of the moment but will try to take care of these
Love theseeee! And I love the weight one, it is so true, it is better just to mention how great they look without criticizing how the previously looked.
There are many stones that we will find on the road, which serve to build our lives firmly and securely.
How beautiful it is to photograph the natural thanks @jwolf