Please accept my apologies for the delay in writing this post. Time in hospital, then recovery had put my schedules back somewhat. So back to it, and away once again.
As mentioned in my earlier post, when I was first diagnosed with lung cancer the doctor explained my tumours were advanced, and should chemotherapy treatment not be scheduled for the immediate future he believed the cancer would kill me within two, possible three months at the most.
Some people support Chemo, some don’t. I had absolutely no idea which was the right choice or wrong one to make. With the doctor suggesting I had limited time left I went with what he had advised in an attempt to buy more time.
I guess one of the other reasons I chose chemo was my health was deteriorating rapidly by this stage. I was beginning to realize I was in a pretty bad way. I was unable to walk from my lounge to the bathroom and back without gasping for breath. It was so difficult to breath it had become a frightening experience. Learning not to panic, and to concentrate on regaining my breath seemed to take forever before I finally, to some degree, regained control of my breathing again. Fear really does become a reality when you wonder where your next breath is going to come from.
Trying to sleep was also a terrible experience. I was unable to lay down and sleep, I had to get whatever sleep I could by sitting upright in a lounge chair. Sitting upright made breathing easier.
Nevertheless, time arrived for me to have my first scheduled chemotherapy treatment. I was a little apprehensive to say the least. I had heard some people go through chemo without any problems at all, but others, a different story. I had been informed side effects like nausea and vomiting were common, tiredness, mouth sores, muscle pain, sleeplessness, hair loss, and more seriously, damage to the immune system left you exposed to greater risk of infection. But here I am, sitting in a lounge chair, in the cancer ward, waiting for my first chemo to be administered.
A few moments later my nurse arrives and gives me a quick examination. She checks my weight, blood pressure, pulse, breathing and temperature. No problems with the short medical so now the IV line goes into my arm, a tube is hooked up, and the pump is started. I see the fluid begin to flow down the tube and think, for better or for worse, here we go!
The chemo treatment lasted for two and a half hours. Once finished my nurse took out the IV, I was finished and on my way home.
The following six days was great. No side effects from the chemo what-so-ever. I thought I had got through the whole ordeal just fine … and then it began to happened!
I was beginning to feel a tightness in my chest, and was constantly coughing. I felt unwell in general, and started to run a fever. I had been warned by my chemo nurse, should I begin to feel unwell in any way I was to contact the hospital immediately due to the greater risk of infection while on chemotherapy.
I arrive at the Hospitals Accident and Emergency Department, I explain I have cancer and currently receiving chemotherapy and they admit me immediately. (It seemed unusual to walk into the A & E, see countless people waiting to be seen, yet be taken immediately. I guess when a person has no basic immune system they are not going to leave you sitting in a room with a whole lot of people with various sicknesses). On examination they found a chest infection had developed. They began administering antibiotics intravenously but by the following morning I was so unwell I wasn’t able to leave my bed. The doctor wanted me to try and cough to help break up the phlegm on my chest, but the pain when attempting to cough was just too great, I was unable to. So they increased the morphine, to kill the pain, to encouraged me to cough.
My breathing at this stage was worse than ever. I was on and off a machine to help with my breathing, although it didn’t seem to improve my condition all that much. There was some comfort being in hospital, at least I knew there were people there to help me if things got really out of control.
Although this confidence did diminish a little when an Oncology doctor arrived at my bedside to speak with me. He wanted to discuss how long I wanted them to continue to try and save my life once they had considered the battle was gone and lost. He went on to say at the end, once they had tubes down my throat in an attempt to keep me alive, and ultimately jumping on my chest to keep me breathing any hope of quality of life will have now ended. At what stage did I want them to basically leave me alone, and walk away?
Thinking about this for a few moments I came to the realization that I wouldn’t want my final days simply living as a vegetable. No fun in that! And how bad would it be for my wife and family to visit and continually witness me in this condition? It simply wouldn’t be fair on them either. When that moment ultimately arrives it would be far healthier that we all let go, accept the final reality of my condition, and for those I love to get back on with life as soon as humanly possible.
My decision: When the time arrives no tubes, no life support, let me leave as naturally as possible for the sake of all!
But I certainly aren’t there yet!
After five days in hospital the infection began to improve. I was beginning to feel better and breathing was on the improve. I was beginning to think that it would be no time at all and I would be back home again.
But it was not to be. All of a sudden, out of the blue my mouth begins to water. That awful queasy watery feeling you get just before being sick. I knew what was about to happen, and thankfully was able to get a bowl just in time. The following days were absolute hell. I just kept on being sick. I didn’t think anyone could ever be so sick, so many times, and live to tell the story. And when I didn’t actually vomit I dry- reached! I couldn’t eat, even the faintest smell of food the vomiting would start. Nausea and vomiting. It just wouldn’t stop. The hospital staff were trying different drugs in an attempt to control it, but it just carried on, and on, and on. Thankfully, a young doctor finally came up with the right drug which was able to contain it. The crazy thing is once this particular drug was administered, the nausea and vomiting stopped nearly as quickly as it started. Honestly, nausea and vomiting for continuous days is absolutely horrific, I hope I never have to experience it again.
Still, my problems hadn’t finished yet. After continuous nausea and vomiting for three days I woke the following morning to a realization of:
“I certainly ‘wasn’t’ hooked up to a urine-bag when I went to sleep last night. What’s happening?”
It seemed like only seconds after waking a nurse was at my bedside taking my blood-pressure, pulse and temperature. I asked her, “what has happened to me? I’m sure I wasn’t hooked up to a urine-bag when I went to sleep last evening”. She said that I wasn’t, and the bag was there so there was no need for me to get out of bed any time soon. Apparently during the course of the night I must have got up to go to the toilet. I wasn’t in my bed when the night nurse came to check on me so she begun to look to see where I was. She found me a little way from my bed, lying on the floor completely out cold and lifeless. They had begun running tests as they were not sure whether I had slipped and fallen, had I passed out before dropping to the floor, or for how long I had been unconscious.
Soon after a doctor come to speak with me as the nursing staff had reported I had appeared to be experiencing some form of confusion since the fall. The doctor said the small cell cancer which I have is extremely aggressive and can spread to other parts of the body quickly. He was concerned it may have spread to the brain. He wanted an immediate CT Scan to see if there was any evidence of cancer in the brain, also if I had done damage to the head area as a consequence of the fall.
Some good news at last. The CT Scan came back clear! No cancer in the brain, or evidence of damage caused to the head region from the fall.
Apart from my own doctor calling in on me once a day, I had a variety of student doctors speak with me at least four times a day. Each time asking questions like … what day was it – what hospital ward was I in - what year was it – what year was I born - when did the second world war end? I did realize there must have been some form of problem as I apparently had a difficulty remembering which year it was … I was sure it was either 2014 or 2015, obviously later to find we are definitely in 2016 :) :)
On the second day, not only was I being asked the “what year is it?” questions, I was also being repeatedly asked what my pain levels were like? Was I experiencing any increased pain, how would I score my pain from 0 – 10?
Long story short. What I had explained to me later was they were steadily decreasing the medications I was taking. From the time of my initial admittance I was given a quantity of various medications, pills for this and pills for that, I had drips going into both arms at one time, morphine and trial morphine patch, different drugs to stop the nausea and vomiting and so it goes on. As the effect of the medications slowly left my body – my memory increasingly returned.
Finally, my doctor was able to put the initial loss of consciousness, then confusion down to the amount of medication I had taken over the previous 11 days.
Finally, the day arrived when one of the trainee doctors stuck his head around the curtain and said with a huge smile, “your tests are finally all clear, here’s a list of the things you are still not allowed to do, but these are not going to stop you going home”. I am just going to write you a prescription for some medications you will need, complete your discharge papers, and you are out of here!” You can ring someone to come and pick you up. Awesome!!
After being in hospital and unable to eat or leave my bed for so long did have its consequences. By the time I got home I had lost a considerable amount of weight, I still felt very weak and tired, but you know what: I AM HOME AND I AM HAPPY!
And you know what just arrived in the mail on my 3rd day home … my next appointment for my 2nd Treatment of Chemotherapy :) :)
More to come soon, have a happy day.
Regards, Gary @garywilson
By sharing my experiences my hope is I can help and encourage other sufferers to remain positive and fight the battle, also provide important information to family members and friends who support those they love as they journey through this terrible disease.
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Hello @ garywilson,
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~RHW~
Lamento mucho por lo que esta pasando, admiro su fuerza de voluntad. para compartir con nosotros este material, Fuerza a no caer el animo, es el arma fundamental para afrontar esta enfermedad! Dsde Corrientes Argentina MUCHAS FUERZAS
Wow, as if cancer wasn't bad enough.
My heart goes out to you.
Hi papa-pepper, Yes its like you get slapped on both sides of the face at time. Never mind, we still carry on. Thanks for you comment and concern. Appreciated. Regards, Gary
Hi Gary. As always, I hope and wish the best for you. Sharing this information is so important because all of us could go through the same thing, and knowing about what to expect really helps.
I use to follow someone on youtube named old64goat, which is an elderly gentleman that makes daily videos. One day he made a video talking about how he doesn't know how much longer he has left in life, but he'd still make videos as long as he could.
Sometimes he'd feature his adult son on there too.
He did a Q&A one day, so I asked him. In the event something happened to you, does your son have your passwords so he could make his own video and publish it to let us know if something ever happened to you?
He said yes. I've already told him that all of my followers will get a video should something happen to me one day.
I'm not going ask anything of you, but I think you can see the importance of such a thing. Plus your account will hold value over time.
Anyway, I read every word in your post closely, with full attention. Each time I see a post by you, I smile because you're still here. Yay! Hearing that you're home and "Happy" is even better. :)
Hi intelliguy, thanks for your comments. I really do appreciate it. My son Shayne lives in California. He has been involved with Steemit for some time, actually it was Shayne who introduced me to Steemit and encouraged to start posting in the first place. He does have the password to my account, so he is able to make a final post for me should something happen to me sooner than expected. Thanks, great to communicate with you. Kind regards, Gary
Hi @garywilson, thanks for bravely sharing your story with the world! Peace and love!
Hi thecryptodrive, Thanks for you comments and well wishes, really appreciate your contact. Kind regards, Gary
Sounds as if you had a nightmare of a time. Glad to hear the ct on the brain was clear.
Hope they have given you plenty of time to rest before your next appointment.
Hi James, I guess I just got to laugh ... home only a few days and my next chemo appointment was in the mail ... on the 22nd of this month so back in for another dose next week. Surely I can't have the same experience twice! :) Thanks for your comments, I really do appreciate it! Kind regards, Gary
Thank you for contributing very important experience that could help others. Hang in there and you already said it yourself and stay positive. I think this is a great way to cope with the experience.
Hi bitcoinparadise, thanks for your comment. Yes, I continue to do everything I can to help myself, and above all remain positive. I will continue to fight, its never over until it is over. I really do appreciate you taking the time to comment. Kind regards, Gary
Poor dear looks like you had a pretty rough time with the Chemo. I've learn that any chemotherapy and radiation with bring down your immune system. Without a healthy working immune system, you'll have a more difficult time fighting your Cancer. Wishing you all the best in your courage a fight. Please keep us updated on your recovery.