My main objective while we raised our two sons was to get them to the point that they would leave and go out on their own. In fact, it caused a little bit of friction with my wife from time to time who would question if I actually loved them or that I couldn't wait to kick them out of the house.
Well, I love them, and while there were times I would have preferred to have them out of my sight for a few hours, those kinds of feelings would subside and we'd get back to trying to prepare them for their future lives.
Well, since both of them were old enough to be out on their own, we've had both back and living with us at different times, with wives, and now a child. The time I get to spend with the granddaughter so close I don't think I would trade for anything, but I also know if they were living somewhere else I would honor that too (in other words, I wouldn't be rushing over to their house every day—that will be my wife).
re: everyone's got a job
Nature is set up on largely survival instinct. Furthering the individuals time for as long as possible, as well as the species. It's innate. It's programmed in to the creature.
Only humans to such a degree find ways to foul those basic instincts up, and then on top of it, place a moral judgment. The answer to that is, we all fall short, and outside of some criminal act, none of us have the ability to judge another person's life or actions. We can guess at them, and we can decide if that's behavior we want to be around, but when you're not perfect, you can't expect others to be at their best all the time, either.
I do have to point out, just because it's me, that you didn't "have" to see or do any of what you did. We all would have missed out on your adventure, and then your great telling of it, but you could have walked away.
Or maybe that's not in YOUR nature. :)
It's not in my nature to ignore that kind of thing. I'm so damn empathetic, that sometimes it difficult...I've checked that damn egg more than the mother bird I think!
I too was happy to see mine go, as much as I loved having them at home. When they left, we downsized so there simply wasn't room for them to return to :) I really miss them now though because it's been exactly one year this month not seeing them and that's way too long, but as my youngest said to me, "don't worry mom, you have a job there to do that's more important". They both understand completely, which does make it easier. It must be great being around your granddaughter though! My grandma always said the best part of being a parent was becoming a grandparent :)
Well, I would imagine you'll be getting your opportunities pretty soon.
You always hear about how much more fun it is to be a grandparent than a parent, and in a lot of ways it is. I have most of the perks and nearly zero the downside. However, to get to the grandparent stage, you do have to go through the parent level, and I don't think I would trade that now for anything in the world. As stressful as raising two boys could be, and everything that can accompany it, they've turned out pretty good I think. Still a little too Millennial for my taste at times, but better than many. I think eventually they'll be on their own and will have a decent foundation to make it after that.
And, the daughter-in-law has already said that the granddaughter isn't going to like it if they end up moving far away from Grandma, so they either need to stay close by, or take Grandma with them. I think that means I get to go, too. Maybe I should double check. 🤔