Agreed with all of this @jwolf
I think it's important to understand that behavior in general, including self-defeating behaviors, is a matter of habit.
Humans fall into patterns and repetition easily, and the more we repeat a particular action, the harder it is to pull away from committing said action.
Once you become aware of this, you can begin to critical analyze your behavior and ask yourself:
"What could I be thinking/saying/doing thats holding me back?"
providing you with the important first steps of moving beyond that which would otherwise control you.
Followed, upvoted, and resteemed! If you have a moment, consider checking out my latest piece here and let me know what you think! : )
Looking forward to more of your work!