Some people are connectors. They look at life as a series of opportunities to help other people connect with each other in a way that amplifies the well-being of all. I count myself in this group.
Other people move through the world filtering only for what will directly benefit them and giving no thought to anyone else's needs, desires, challenges, and triumphs. That's how I greeted the world in my 20s.
You see I don't think there is "this sort of person" and "that sort of person." I think that at different points in our lives we have the capacity to be any sort of person.
The Challenge
This is wonderful in terms of our ability to improve, which I definitely see my transition as having evidenced. But it also goes the other way.
No matter what we have done to help others and be a benefit to the world, we can still turn selfish at any point. It is a constant endeavor to have our default be asking what we can give, not what we can get.
Note that I'm not advocating for selflessness. Our compassion must necessarily include ourselves. It is ONLY including ourselves that is the problem. Generosity is a virtue that doesn't require self-sacrifice.
It's important to cultivate this part of our character, and never assume that it will be there in the future simply because it has been there in the past. I could say the same about any positive aspects of our personalities really.
Why Bother
The benefits of extending this extra effort are many, but the bottom line is that we get to have happier lives when we look at the world as a series of opportunities to uplift others. You see, in order to see the world that way we have to move from a fundamental ground of our own sufficiency. We have to see that whatever problems we may have, we actually have something to give.
This is an incredibly empowering point of view. And it's what I lacked in my early adulthood that undermined me in all I tried to do for myself. I never really felt competent. I never really felt relevant. I was always seeing myself as the one who needed this and that.
And really, I did need a lot. I entered adulthood wholly unprepared for the endeavor. But looking to others to give to me never got me out of that pattern. It was only once I began transforming myself into a giver that my own life began to get better.
I started by volunteering at a church's after school computer program for immigrant children. Within a year I'd quit my job and entered a Master's degree program in preparation for becoming a child therapist. The training alone helped me begin having a much greater capacity to contribute to the well-being of others in general.
As the years have gone by, I've continued to amass more and more skills, and always within a context of how I can use those skills to benefit both myself and others. I'll still go through particularly stressful periods sometimes, in which I revert to thinking only of my own needs. Thankfully I have a dog and other responsibilities to others that will snap me out of it soon enough. But each time I come out of the trance of selfishness, I realize how painful a place that is to live.
When you are always selfish, you don't realize how much suffering it is causing you. It's such a Catch-22, because it is only once you start thinking of others that you realize how painful it was not to.
I believe that we are naturally generous spirits, flowing freely to all the parts of our Self. When we live selfishly, we cut ourselves off from so much of ourselves, that we just can't possibly be truly happy. We can be entertained. We can be amused. We can be inebriated, and such people often are. They call that happiness because it's the closest to happiness they ever get. But it is not happiness. It is suffering.
Compassion
I invite you to live with compassion for yourself by cultivating your generosity of spirit as if your happiness depended on it. I believe it does.
(Photo source: Pixabay)
Resteems always appreciated!
Great piece, @indigoocean. I really relate to this one, as I too have found myself to be in different places at different periods in my life too where it just seemed natural to swing between different aspects of giving and receiving. There's no doubt that when in the giving state we flourish the most.
This reminds me of an illustration I herd years ago that fits so well. It spoke of how the Dead Sea is dead because it only receives from the Jordan river and doesn't give (i.e. have any outlets). Whereas, the Sea of Galilee is rich and vibrant, even though it is the lowest fresh water lake on earth, because it receives water from several rivers and gives via the Jordan River that flows through it to the dead sea.
I think also of how the moon electro-magnetically effects the minerals in the water on earth to cause tides in the oceans to move to and fro, which causes a sort of give and take of life-giving water and minerals to so much life. It is as though it's a sort of mechanism for our planet to breath.
Are you a Libra, by any chance? I ask because you feel to be so much like me a lot of time in how you tend to cover all aspects so freely and have a way of making me feel like I am seeing and remembering myself in such a beautiful new light. Thank you for your open heartfelt expression. You are very much appreciated. 💚
Great examples of how water maintains life force! Thanks for sharing that.
I'm sun in Aquarius, but I consider the Libra disposition to be something I cultivate as a part of my striving for equilibrium and equanimity. I honestly think that all of the signs represent important qualities for us all to cultivate and also guard against excess in.
I agree with you on all the signs. Aquarius for me reflects and nurtures my Friendly, Humanitarian, Intelligent, Inventive, Loyal, Independent and detached aspects. While I have noticed one's sun sign does tend to generally be more prominent with most people, depending on where all the other planets and large objects are placed in relation to one another, where we're born at the moment of birth, as well as many other factors at any given moment as we move through our lives.
I guess the Libra in me loves to consider and harmonize it all into something Pythagoras beautifully called the Music of the Spheres, Harmony of the Spheres, Symphony of the planets, etc. I of course love the Harmony way or expressing it, because it is more encompassing in sensory perception than just music, which already goes deep in expressing the beauty of it all. I am struck in this moment of how in a way astrologically (and astronomically) we are each our own unique musical expression of the one whole that we all are a fractal of.
It's like as we each come into this particular life in this plain of existence, we are each birthed through with our own chord of specific vibratory tonal frequencies, which we get to tune and tweak as we move through this life in this experience of time and space. This is the kind of mind candy I love to chew on, as for me the Harmony aspect feels to be also in a unique mix of colors and so much more too than simply auditory; and it feels to connect with far more dimensional realms than this 3D world we "think" we live within that really also lives within us. The tonal vibrations are really cool, though, in how they resonate and permeate everything. This is a nice resonant segue into one of those PAUSE moments. :)
I love that metaphor and imagery!
Reading through your article, I felt like running over to your country to give you a hug but then it's not really possible.
It takes compassion in order to show concern to other people and when this compassion is coming from the heart of heart, one can do anything to help others in need.
Also, our contact with people and situations of life often build us to have a drive to help people. Of recent, I stopped worrying about what others will do for me but rather focusing on what I can do for others
Early this year, there was a post I made on Facebook and that is some how a driving force for me to look at opportunities of getting in order to help others and it reads
Until you come to the point of you thinking there are people you should help in the nearest future rather than there are people to help me, poverty will continually be your friend
The above pushed me into learning
TOGETHER THROUGH COMPASSION, WE CAN MAKE THE WORLD A BETTER PLACE
Thank you for your sharing of your own journey. May it inspire others.
Amen. Thank you ma.
Boom!!!!!
And this is why I think you're so DOPE!
I have not been attending to what really makes me happy....you see I had my first child at age 20 and I took great care of him because that is the way I was raised. Along the way of that, I deferred my passion and I am not sorry..... I did what I had to do. I got full custody of my oldest when he was 4yrs old, worked two jobs, and made sure he was safe. My passion is building cars from the ground up. I rebuilt my first engine when I was 16 yrs old, I have not done stuff like that since I have graduated high school. I may begin that road again.....one day, but soon.
I can totally get how you would be a man who would take on that responsibility for another young. I'm glad you're now just about in a place in your life where you can dive into your passion, and let others be blessed through that as well. What a cool idea to build cars! Or even just to rebuild old models that people can't buy new anymore.
Siempre es grato leer tus posts porque invariablemente me lleno de energía positiva. Saludos.
Love you.
You got a 32.39% upvote from @ocdb courtesy of @indigoocean!