Accept the naysayers and haters as they are, and move on.
When we step out and do big or important things, the naysayers and haters appear.
When we do something controversial, the naysayers and haters appear.
When we do good things, the naysayers and haters appear.
That's how it is today. In reality, that's how it's always been.
For most of my life I've had difficulty dealing with these type of people.
There's a reason I don't express my goals to the world. When I got pushback from the naysayers I would let it stop me from taking action on my idea.
There's a reason I have an inner circle of people who I support and they support me. Because I learned that I do best when I know I have supporters behind me.
Earlier this year I was talking with a public relations expert about my business retreat that I'm hosting in November, 2017. She tore the idea apart. She visited the website and began saying that no one was going to go to a retreat, no one was going to pay that much money for a weekend without group activities, no one was going to pay for access to 'nobodies'. Obviously, she didn't get the concept and she wasn't an ideal customer! And had she been the only one, I wouldn't have had an issue. But, she wasn't. There were a few (more than 4 or 5) who responded that way in the same week. I found myself doubting my vision.
Then I asked myself:
Is this opinion inside my control?
I know my idea is good and sound. I've 'tested' it with a couple of hundred people and received positive responses. It's all in the execution now. So, do I change direction because of a handful of naysayers? No.
This opinion is simply that - an opinion. An unasked for opinion.
So rather than waste time and energy trying to get her on board as a supporter, I simply accept that she is who she is and that she simply isn't a part of the vision.
That includes the others who aren't supporters.
I admit this is much easier to do when I have an inner circle of advisors from whom I seek counsel on such things. They are where I go to check my thinking, to get more information, to get perspective, to get inspiration and motivation.
Our job is tough enough without having to worry about what other people are thinking, even if it is about us.
this originally was posted as a Morning Mindset Thought for the Day in The GROW Alliance Facebook Group
This is so incredibley true! I am a people person, a social butterfly, and it's taken years to not put value in every opinion given to me. When I would express an idea or goal and it was shot down with someone's opinion, I would lay the entire idea to rest. I was trying to gain acceptance. Now, almost 34 years old, I have finally been able to truly say people's opinions no longer have a hold on what I am doing. I'll take the perspective, but ultimately I am confident in my own decisions, my goals, and my own skin. Great article, thanks for sharing!
I'm so happy for you! I remember that time of needing other people's opinions - ick - but also the joy that came with trusting myself and believing in myself :) It's a good place to be. But also, for me, it is important that I surround myself with those who are interested in my success - that way not only do I get support from them but I am also able to support them on their journey.
I like what you said about taking their perspective. I think that is a good idea with any naysayer who offers a perspective that is deeper than "don't do it because it is stupid!" Someone once said that You are entitled to an opinion but if its not based on anything then it won't be given the same attention as those who do have fact-based opinions. (or something like that)
You need to seek validation from no-one. You still have very far to go. Once you completely stop caring what others think (and i mean still care about your family etc) then you can really get into yourself, and figure out truth.
Honestly, we're running out of time to discover truth. I'd suggest people take it a lot more seriously.
It is defintely true that I still have a ways to go in putting it into practice, and believing that I don't care instead of just saying the words and not feeling them. But, I am on the road and the farther I get, the more free I feel! The truth is so distant to many, and time is running out. Hopefully it can be reached before it's too late!
The world is full of people with zero vision and skill. Relying on them to gauge your success is basically stupid. If I listened to people that told me I couldn't do things, or to take the safe road always, I would not be where I am today.
Let your intuition guide you if it is in tune.
Terrific comment. And I agree - though I will say that many, like me so many years ago, simply don't know how to trust their intuition or how to fail, and therefore seek outside validation. Because of this, I think it is important that those of us were like that - and have changed for the better - share our experience to show how it's done. That way, those who are still learning know they are not alone and that it is possible to change...to trust their intuition...to not gauge their success on someone else's views.