Thank you @dukexox! I know it is just as likely for men to fall into the same day to day routine as women, especially when doing all the child care. I appreciate your comments, and sharing your perspective. I already have a 17 year old daughter that my total devotion and care did not really work out well with , so as I said that is a separate trauma I'm trying to release and not allow it to affect my feelings this time around. I haven't gotten that far yet lol. Anything else you want to add I am totally receptive to :-)
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Hi @kimberleighfl may I first add my apology, having re read my comment it sounds very judgemental and for that I do apologize. In no way was it supposed to sound that way. As for the healing process we can't let what happened yesterday command who we are today. We can learn from mistakes made or attempts failed but if we drive looking in our rear view mirror we can't go forward. I do hope you can find some peace in yourself. By being there for your kids and being so open you are already a winner👍🏻why don't you start by tomorrow morning making yourself a green smoothie even with 2 hours sleep.
Thanks @dukexox. I did not feel your post was judgmental at all, and even if it had been intended that way, it would have been fine because that is how you feel. I agree that living in past is completely un-beneficial to all, however I do believe an un-examined life leaves us without the ability to learn from our past or to truly process all the experiences we have. I don't know if you have read any of my others posts, but I'm using Steemit as a platform to work through experiances I have found traumatic that so far have shaped my life not for the better. I'm experiencing them with a new perspective and in turn healing those scars to the betterment of myself, my life, and everyone around me. If you believe in energy, then I'm changing my vibration is the easiest way of saying it :-) This post is a very small part of that process, it actually connects to a much larger dysfunction I have been working on regarding my experiences with my own parents, etc. I'm learning as I go, and I hope that is coming off in my writing and it doesn't just sound like I'm bitching lol That is not my intention at all. I mean of course part of my initial perception and explanation will be frustration because I didn't know of a better way until I did all the examination and found something better. What I love the most about this writing is after I am done it is like releasing the problem I had with it. I have not felt frustrated at all with my parenting situation since I wrote this and that is my entire goal! PS I have been drinking a smoothie each day which is a great start to incorporate myself into the process of healing :-)
I commented at first without looking back at past posts, I have read a few of them now(can't find a way to bookmark them so keep having to flick through @quinneaker in his steem pants!!!) I couldn't agree more with you that you need to find a way to heal properly. From what I have read so far it seems you have been let down by everyone who was supposed to be looking after you and through no fault of your own. you have obviously now found a support network which is amazing for you and will help heal the wounds. I guess what I am trying to say is that the decisions we make today determine our future. Things that have happened in the past can have an effect on our way of thinking. For instance when new questions are asked of us if we still have a fear of past events then we will make choices through an irrational state of mind through the animal part of our brain ie flight, freeze or fight. Surrounding yourself by positive people is also an amazing step, you obviously are an extremely courageous person to still be looking to better yourself even with all the negative impacts you have had. So please keep up the writing it's definitely honest, realistic and very emotional, definitely not bitchy. It's amazing how writing can help with your emotional well being.
Thank you @dukexox! I have been so busy this last week helping people get ready for SteemFest 2 that I haven't even looked back at replies. I appreciate your input, and thank you for reading! You are dead on with everything you said. My life is so much improved these days! The writing is great for me, and I hope it benefits others too!