How did you do at adulting today? I did some cooking and cleaning, then I engaged in a favorite pastime of most adults - went to the store brandishing my credit card and saying “I want this!” Actually, that’s one of the best parts about adulting, you don’t have to beg your parents when you want something.
If you look up the definition of adult, it says fully developed, fully grown or mature. The first terms clearly relate to physical development, which explains why the age of maturity is defined by reaching a certain age. It’s not like you have to take some test to prove you’re an adult now. How about mature? The dictionary isn’t helpful at all as it takes you back to attaining full development. You also get a synonym like ripe. Well, I guess I am quite ripe, but an adult? I don’t think so.
They say that children learn by playing. Caring for a doll is practice for nurturing their future young. Building a fort in the backyard teaches not only basic construction skills, but also the value of being in a team. After a certain number of years, children are allowed to swap toy guns for real ones, Monopoly money for what passes for money in the grown-ups’ world, ditch the plastic car for something roadworthy, etc.
I’ve been an adult for a long time now, but most days I wonder if I’m not a child playing with fancier toys. I’ve raised two kids, had various jobs, bought a house, decorated and redecorated, and opened various bank accounts. Never got a car, as I couldn’t handle such responsibility. See? I know about adulting.
In more serious terms, being an adult means understanding how society works, learning and following rules, sometimes known as laws, and taking full responsibility for your actions. Yet, this is also true of children. Take a kid to daycare and he’ll soon learn the rules, what is allowed, what you can get away with, how to behave around other children and how not to. They also learn about taking responsibility for their actions. Be disrespectful or annoying and this will earn you some form of punishment. The grown-ups or even your peers will sanction unwanted behavior. Is there much difference between not talking back to the teacher and keeping your mouth shut when your boss says something you don’t agree with? Not really. In school, being too smart for your own good may get you detention, while in a working environment it may get you the boot.
The legal definition of an adult is based on an arbitrary age. Society takes care of a person until they reach the age of maturity, when they’re left to their own devices. It’s a bit like saying - “There’s nothing else we can do for you. Good luck!” (Quiet eye roll!)
An adult is nothing but a bigger child playing with bigger toys, if you ask me. Instead of voting for class president you get to vote for the president of your country. Instead of hating those in a parallel class, you get to hate those in another country. Instead of throwing a ball at your enemy, you get to throw bombs. Definitely, an adult knows more stuff, but at heart it’s just play. As a child, you’re not allowed to play with matches or touch the stove, therefore you feed your doll imaginary meals. Once you’ve mastered the art of fire and are competent enough to boil an egg, you can play at Mom and Dad. It’s all child’s play.
Until you get tired of it. Oddly enough, the phrase “losing your marbles” (often used to signify cognitive impairment associated with old age) has to do with the marbles kids used to play before Barbie and video games. In Romanian, one says about an elderly losing their marbles ‘he’s reverted to a child’s mind’. I remember the story of an old woman who had to be cared for round the clock. She wasn’t unhappy though, just spent her waking hours waiting for her Mom and Dad to come. As scary as losing your memory and your sense of self may be, it is in a way coming full circle. I’ve played at being an adult long enough, now I wanna go back to being a child.
As I was coming back from the store, I saw a pile of sand in a church yard. I could use some for my plants, I thought, but went past it like a decent adult. Until I stopped, thought better about it and realized I could put some in a plastic pot I’d just bought. Sure I can squeeze my hand through the fence. The whole thing felt so childish I’m still laughing about it. My son was shocked nevertheless - “You did what!?” He’s still young, he doesn’t know adults are nothing but older children.
P.S. - If I've been absent from the platform for a couple of weeks it's because I was busy doing adult stuff... arghh!
Thanks for reading!
All images are my own... I love visiting toys' museums!
This one really made me step back and think, @ladyrebbeca. My ratio of adult to internal child is constantly fluctuating solely based on the level of stress I'm under. When I'm under a huge amount of stress the internal child withers, like a learned defense mechanism and seriousness sets in. When I alleviate the stress, the feelings of childlike wonder (and my muse) returns. Honestly, I hope I never fully "grow up", when you let stress and the circumstances of life completely eclipse the child within you I feel this is when you truly grow brittle and old.
I see what you mean. Huge amounts of stress can do that. Lately, I've been dealing with just moderate stress levels which allows my inner child to protest loudly, whimper and threaten to throw a tantrum... :)) Still, it was enough to leave me feeling empty, with no half-decent idea to write about..
I hope you never grow up and keep finding wonder in life. As I was saying in this post I know nothing about cars so I had no input for your Tesla post, but I couldn't help myself thinking about bigger children getting bigger toys :) On a more serious note, as I am afraid of driving, I would love such a car.
Haha, I've experienced those tantrums myself. It's been hard for me to write anything much since my wife's gotten sick. I have a poem brewing now but I swear it takes 10x longer than it normally would. I'll have these brief flashes of creativity and they just burn themselves out. It's a comfort to know they're still there though.
Thank you, I wish the same for you. Life isn't the same without experiencing that wonder. My car is definitely a big toy for me. I haven't been able to drive it much though, it'll be two years old in August and it barely has 6k miles on it. I bet you would love a Tesla. I'll probably trade mine in when their new compact car is released. The plan is to sell my Model 3 and get two of the new compacts, keep one and give one to my mom.
I can see. Perhaps adults are just children who are forced by circumstances to act differently. And maybe (or maybe not?) to mature is, in a way, not to change ourselves but to learn to move in this new scenario. Maybe it's all like a game.
Also, I think it can be good to be like a child. Sometimes I can be.
Cheers!
Huh? Yes, a video game would work. My kid used to like a game with a duck you had to help evolve, only it was boring so he had us train the stupid duck for hours...
I even get tired whenever I pick up the broom to sweep
I really need training 😔😔
There's also a definition of adulthood as understanding the need to perform mundane tasks, like sweeping... no one likes to sweep, but eventually we all learn. Who knows, if you refuse to sweep or take out the trash, you get demoted and sent back to kindergarten.
I think I was born an adult. 'An old head on young shoulders' I used to hear people say. Perhaps now I'm 60 I can start getting up to some mischief:)
Everyone deserves a bit of mischief in their life😀