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RE: On Friendships Born On The Web

in #life7 years ago

I don't have any cyber friends personally.
Only real friends. (real as those I meet face to face).
For me word "friend" have special meanings. For someone to be my friend, they have to pass certain expectations in real life. I need to know them for a very long time to see how they behave, and to see how they treat me in different situations. It also require living with them together for at least few weeks to really find out who they really are. Many people fake their character and do not show who they really are until you start living with them. If you are really unlucky you can even encounter clinical sociopath who are masters in disguising their true character - they are fun going to parties and pretending to be friends on the fun and trying to manipulate you to think they are your friends by bringing you gifts, etc.

I do not trust anybody, and learnt dozens of times in hard way that we should not trust anyone until they meet above criteria.

10 years ago social media started to exploit the word friend. Friend this friend that. Myspace friend, Facebook friend, Instagram friend... Steemit friend, and so on.
The word "friend" lost the meaning.
For me none of these social media "friends" or cyber "friends" are friends. They are just some acquaintances, companions, party buddies or colleagues.

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It's alright we don't have to be all the same.

I guess I understand where you're coming from and yes.. I have to admit that - "friends" also mean something deeper to me.

I also understand why you think so about cyber relationships and yes abuse could happen more often in the net than in real life

however, I also believe that everything we send out there is reciprocated exactly the way we send it .. IMHO
therefore, I am always cautious on what to send out here
well.. not extra careful these days because in my experience if you just are yourself on and offline (which I am not 100% I totally admit - not to everyone specially not where the world can read everything- having written this - you may have already guessed PMs and private chats played the roles in building a stronger version of that cyber friendship I wrote up there) - you will get the same treatment on people. If people would allow themselves to be open minded to the thought that there's a soul behind that comp - reaching out and just being themselves and is treating them honestly - no humane soul would dare not reciprocate on that treatment because kindness - as I have learned - knows no enemy. I picked up that line from one of my Buddhist friends.

I won't disagree with you on how you perceive your "cyber friends" you may think so - I totally respect that. Cheers for having a different view.
Makes the world a spicier place to live :)

Buddhist teaching are often very wise but they are not ultimate oracle of truths :-)
Sometimes they confuse kindness with naivety. Kindness not always work. There re people out there who completely lack any compassion or empathy. They are cognitively undeveloped in this area. They will only use your kindness to exploit you and benefit from it. Many are not just psychologically abuse but also physically.

i totally agree
I don't think that any particular group could claim they hold the ultimate truth but then that's out of the topic :D

yes, those kind of peeps exists but don't worry ;) we could always close our doors to them besides we don't want to be a "victim" of those

I guess .. in my case I carefully choose who to hang out with or talk to..
and you also have a point on distinguishing naivety with kindness
I also am not "only" kind - I won't like it - it would be tiring and I would feel like I didn't respect myself or have abused myself if I'm only kind that's why I also mentioned that on the post that if someone misbehaves and gets too close for comfort and started stepping on the line though we're not playing basketball but just because I reckon that you know what I mean ;) - there's always that STOP button to press :)

You are right. Setting our boundaries is very important too.

always ;)
am off to bed

will recharge my VI for the morrow
too low again ..

sleep tight

Have a good night! :-)

Just to add. Of course it is possible to meet real friend on the web, but I think that it will require later, regular relationship in reality (so above mentioned expectation could be confirmed :-)

possibilities abound so I totally agree with you
but ... I guess the strength of the so called friendship would require - two humans dancing that friendship tango :)
in the same frequency :)
reality weighs more .. I totally agree on that